Posts Tagged ‘Personal’

May 11, 2009

R.I.P. Candy’s Two-Seat Convertible

Babies come with a number of mind-boggling accessories, including car seat systems that even Houdini could not escape.  “Rear-facing”… “anchor attachments”… “SnugRider” (Ed. note:  apparently, not a condom) … all new terms to me, which add up to one big life-changing reality check: I need a new car. A longtime convertible enthusiast — I love the feel [...]
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Apr 23, 2009

This Used to Be My Playground

Mr. Candy and I are regrouping from a long day o’ traveling, from LAX to Dulles to Harrisburg Airport, then down the Turnpike to my hometown of Mechanicsburg.   Phew. So here I sit, in the very same kitchen where, according to my mother, I used to clear out all of the pots and pans so I [...]
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Mar 31, 2009

23 Weeks

Today marks my 23rd week of pregnancy.  Frankly, I have no clue how many months that equals. “Then you must be an idiot!” you are undoubtedly shouting at the picture of me and my ever-growing bump. With this, I cannot argue. By my uncertain calculations, I am about five months along.  However, according to What to Expect When [...]
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Mar 16, 2009

The Laughing Stork Newsletter and Imminent Launch

The Laughing Stork is finally going to “officially” launch with a snazzy new design, expanded offerings, more frequent updates and a weekly video blog lampooning children’s programming and family reality shows within the next two weeks.  Woo-hoo! Don’t miss out.  Get notified when the site launches and kept apprised of other news & announcements by signing [...]
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Mar 12, 2009

The One-Armed Typist

“You’re gonna have to learn how to type with one hand,” people often inform me when they find out I’m having a baby, anticipating my continued writing addiction and Candy Junior’s desire to be held (apparently, babies like this or something?). Little do they know I’ve been a one-armed typist for some years now: Cats have a [...]
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Mar 11, 2009

20 Weeks

CANDY’S MOM:  Your dad and I got your e-mail with the pictures.  Got quite a chuckle out of ‘em. CANDY:  Chuckle? CANDY’S MOM:  Well, yeah.  (PAUSE)  You’ve gotten so BIG! CANDY:  (INSTANTLY DEFENSIVE, AS ONLY A DAUGHTER CAN BE WITH HER MOTHER) I’m still wearing my old jeans, you know. CANDY’S MOM:  (INSTANTLY SKEPTICAL, AS ONLY A MOTHER CAN [...]
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Mar 6, 2009

The Pregnancy News Reaction Awards

MOST UTTERLY DISAPPOINTING REACTION GOES TO… Mr. Candy! CANDY:  So, honey, I took a pregnancy test today and — I’m pregnant! MR. CANDY:  Oh my God.  (TURNS PALE)  That’s scary. MOST DRAMATIC RESPONSE IN A CRACKER BARREL RESTAURANT GOES TO… Candy’s Mother-in-Law! Candy’s MIL opens her Christmas card.  An ultrasound picture falls out.  A moment of silence, then: CANDY’S MIL:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Candy’s MIL [...]
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Mar 3, 2009

Thump, Thump, Thump

I’ve recently taken a break from my iPod’s usual Kanye/Katy Perry/Rihanna/Cold Play/Young MC (Shut up!  I love me some “Bust a Move”) rotation to listen to something a little more, shall we say, New Age: That would be my prenatal heart listener.   My prenatal heart listener with which I am OBSESSED, to be frank. Oh sure, those [...]
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