Posts Tagged ‘Mother of the Week’
Mother of the Day So Far: Katie Price Wants Daughter to Become a Topless Model
Feb 18, 2010 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: Katie Price, Mother of the Week, Reality Stars
“Glamour model” and reality “star” Katie Price has high hopes for two-year-old Princess Tiaamii, declaring that she will encourage her daughter to be a topless model when she turns 18. Reach for the stars, kid! But not the blouse.
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Celebrity Mother of the Week So Far: Katie “Jordan” Price
Feb 2, 2010 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: Katie Price, Mother of the Week
“She has naturally curly blonde hair, which I straightened recently and it didn’t look good — she looked like a little troll.”
Mother of the Week Contender Turns in Own Kid for Shoplifting, Asks to Collect Reward for Reporting Incident
Dec 23, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News,Parenting News | Tags: Mother of the Week
Most parents would prefer to keep their kids out of legal trouble — especially kids who have yet to enter SECOND GRADE — but not so for an Ohio woman who asked that police be called after she caught her 6-year-old daughter shoplifting a package of stickers.
Mother Pulls the Ol’ Steal-and-Strip Routine
Oct 12, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Mother of the Week
Here’s a Mother of the Week contender: Police say a Wisconsin woman stripped in front of her children in an attempt to avoid arrest for shoplifting (naturally), then kicked and hocked a loogie on officers, and THEN — for the pièce de résistance — mooned other cars through a police car window.
The Dangers of Parents Using Facebook (Also, Why You Should Vet Your “Friends”)
Sep 10, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire | Tags: Mother of the Week, Promises
I promise my daughter, right here and now, that I will never embarrass her on Facebook like this Penn State mom did with her son.
Mom Caught Boinking in Car Uses Infallible “We Got Horny” Defense
May 19, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Busted, Mother of the Week, Totally Sober
These two totally sober-looking individuals, Danica Wallace, 24, and Jeremy Welch, 29, were recently arrested in Ohio after the cops spotted the reportedly pantless duo having sex in a car.
But wait — there’s more!
Danica’s two small children, ages four years and 22 months, were sitting in the back while they were knocking da boots. Something tells me the traumatized kids will ask to take the bus from now on.
Good ol’ Jeremy, described as “extremely intoxicated,” had a simple explanation for their behavior: “We got horny and just wanted to fuck!!” (The reporting officer added the extra exclamation point for emphasis.)
Meanwhile, Mother of the Week contender Danica, who failed a series of field sobriety tests, claimed to have only consumed a 22-ounce bottle of Budweiser.
“I’m not completely drunk,” she assured police.
That’s good enough for me. Please, continue on your way, ma’am!
Mother of the Week Contender Punches Son Over Hickey
May 5, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Mother of the Week
In what may have been a teensy overreaction, a New Zealand woman attacked her 15-year-old son at work, punching him in the face and chest, and then sat on him to prevent him from escaping — all because of a hickey on his neck.
Well, that sucks.
The 32-year-old mother, Huia Dawn Te Pou,admitted she flipped her lid, and was fined $200 and sentenced to six months supervision. The boy, not surprisingly, has since moved in with his grandparents — probably with the hope that their vision is a bit more hazy.
Considering the mom was only 17 when he was born, she likely suffered a flashback upon seeing the love bite and feared he was doing the same thing SHE did. First comes lust, then come hickeys…
Mother of the Week Contender Supersizes Her Babies with McDonald’s Diet
Apr 28, 2009 | Filed Under: Babies,In the News,Kids | Tags: Mother of the Week
Blame Ronald McDonald
Ooohhh! We have a Mother of the Week contender…
Introducing Leanne Salt, a 420-pound British mom of eight-month-old triplets, who’s been feeding McDonald’s to her babies since they were six months old.
I’m no mommy expert yet, but aren’t you supposed to save the McNuggets for their seven-month birthday, followed by a bottle of Jack Daniels for their eight-month milestone? That’s how my mama did it.
“They had chicken nuggets and chips, and loved it,” raves Leanne. “They like fish and chips too, but I take the batter off the fish, so I guess that’s healthy.”
That’s true. And if you suck the icing off cupcakes, they’re as healthy as broccoli! At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
The 24-year old, who blames her obesity on a thyroid problem (I’ll spare you my editorial commentary on that one), became pregnant after seeing her then-boyfriend for just four weeks. Surprisingly, they have since split up. So Leanne lives with her mother, wisely spending part of her government assistance on a 10-a-day cigarette habit.
Each of the 17-pound babies consumes around 1,300 calories a day, nearly double the recommended amount for their age. But Leanne insists it’s all good:
“Babies are always hungry. Sometimes it’s easier to give them food that’s already prepared. . . Anyway, they don’t always have junk food — sometimes I cook a microwave meal for them. My babies are healthy.”
An average day’s menu for each of the babies:
5:30 a.m. — 8-oz. bottle of milk
8 a.m. — 8-oz. bottle of milk, plus a crumpet with butter
12 p.m. — Scrambled eggs on toast, instant mashed potatoes with spaghetti hoops (must be a British thing)
2 p.m. — A packet of Wotsits (ditto)
4 p.m. — A microwave lasagna or pie, which their mother chews so they can manage it (yes, she is part bird)
Bedtime — Another 8-oz. bottle of milk
We tried to reach her children’s arteries for comment, but they were too clogged to respond.
