Posts Tagged ‘Love & Marriage’
Mar 11, 2010
If anything will restore your faith in true love, this is it: Lee Jin-gyuhas finally made an honest pile of cotton out of his beloved ‘dakimakura’ — a kind of large, huggable pillow from Japan — by marrying the pillow in a “special ceremony.”
Feb 2, 2010
It was that critical make-or-break point. Twenty-two years old and three months into our relationship, Mr. Candy and I were having “The Talk” at a cozy Manhattan bar over chicken fingers and too many bottles of wine.
Sep 30, 2009
When I saw this magazine cover, I felt like apologizing to my daughter for bringing her into a world where the Kardashians are famous.
Sep 24, 2009
CANDY: Hey, hon? [WAITS, THEN:] HEY, HONEY!
MR. CANDY: [WATCHING BABY IN THE NEXT ROOM] …Yeah?!
CANDY: Does she still have that booger?
Sep 20, 2009
MR. CANDY: Wow. Colbie Smulders doesn’t even look pregnant!
ME: Um, she had her baby a couple months ago.
MR. CANDY: Oh. [PAUSE] Wow. She lost her weight fast.
Aug 27, 2009
Till nagging about the toilet seat do us part…
Chinese ship crew members on the Yangtze River saw a man suddenly run out of his cabin, hands covering his ears, and shout:
“I can’t stand it any longer!”
They initially thought he was suffering from an ear injury and went to help him, but no…! Turns out, he [...]
Jun 17, 2009
“Hey, honey. Looks like we’re gonna have to pay a late fee on the Visa bill.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Unless…”
“Yes?”
“Unless you FINALLY chip in and sell a few blowjobs on Craigslist.”
Yes, a man simply trying to “pay bills” by pimping out his wife on Craigslist has been arrested, and faces one count of promoting prostitution and one count of [...]
May 20, 2009
A woman who was a teensy bit unhappy with her husband after he spent a week’s salary on liquor — hey, appletinis ain’t cheap! — decided to maturely teach him a lesson in finances by drilling a hole into his penis.
Presumably, she used a drill by Black and Pecker.
A horrified Andrei Karaj told cops he [...]
