Posts Tagged ‘Huh?’
And This is the Smart One
Aug 23, 2010 | Filed Under: Marcy & Matty | Tags: Huh?
It is 90 degrees here, an unusually sweltering temperature for Los Angeles. In fact, it’s so hot I saw two trees fighting over a dog on my walk this morning. True story.
Our townhouse has four levels, three of which have air conditioning. So, naturally, where have Marcy and her ten pounds of fur been sleeping all day…?
That’s right: the sauna-like top floor, directly in the sunlight. Hmmmm. Perhaps she is trying to sweat off a few pounds of kibble to get her figure bikini-ready…?
Out of the mouths of babes’ parents
Aug 4, 2010 | Filed Under: Candy's Column | Tags: Huh?
Babyologists have long discussed the horrifying things that come out of a baby’s butt during the first years of life, but rarely have they tackled something potentially even more confounding: the things that come out of new parents’ mouths.
I believe my husband, for one, is worthy of extensive research. The moment our infant daughter started following the sound of our voices, Elmo inhabited his body.
“Aren’t you pretty! Aren’t you pretty!” Mr. Candy would exclaim over and over again in an octave only dogs could hear. He continues to speak in a jarringly high pitch to this very day, which is bad for his business meetings and the few remaining crumbs of my sanity, but good for marine biologists wishing to communicate with beluga whales*.
It also dawned on me last week that Mr. Candy addresses our one-year-old daughter almost exclusively with rhetorical questions.
Are you smiling at your grandma?
Is your Uncle Chris holding you?
Is your toy blue?
“Bah bah, da da,” Skye responds more often than not, which roughly translates** to “DUH, Captain Obvious.”
Being the sensitive, caring wife that I am, I couldn’t help but laugh at Mr. Candy and, in between giggles, demand to know why he’s turned into The Daddy-Riddler. He mumbled something about trying to be interactive and waved in my direction without looking at me. Except his hand must have gotten a cramp, because he was only able to wave with one finger.
Turns out, however, that Mr. Candy isn’t the only parent in this household to talk to the kid in question marks. Oh no. I decided to turn my evil eye of judgment on myself and what I saw, er… heard…? Wasn’t pretty.
Let’s make you some oatmeal… huh?
Those Cheerios are tasty… huh?
The bags under Mommy’s eyes are getting bigger… huh?
Yes! I have come down with a tragically annoying case of Huh?-itis! I am physically incapable of finishing a sentence without matter-of-factly punctuating it with, “Huh?”
Our daughter is going to have some messed up communication skills. Huh?
And don’t even get me STARTED on the baby talk that goes on between these walls. No, seriously, don’t. I promised Mr. Candy I wouldn’t talk about our sex habits again.
*What we’ve learned so far: Beluga whales are able to follow ‘Inception’ better than 99 percent of humans
**Translated with the iPhone “Babble Translator” app, most commonly used to converse with Ozzy Osbourne
Proof That Some Birth Announcement Ideas Are Better in Theory
Jun 8, 2010 | Filed Under: Awesome Family Photos,Other Photos | Tags: Awkward, Huh?
“Um… can we try another look-into-the-future mirror? I want one that says we’re having a BOY.”
[Source]
Surprise! Michael Jackson Appears in Baby’s Ultrasound
Nov 20, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Huh?
Jesus-in-rye-toast sightings are sooooo last year. Now it’s all about the Michael Jackson popping up in the darnedest places.
Fashion Police: Chloë Sevigny at the Prada Book Launch Party
Nov 14, 2009 | Filed Under: Fashion Police,Style | Tags: Huh?
SERAPHINA: I don’t know why, but I’m suddenly hungry for dinner…
Alexander McQueen’s “Armadillo” Shoes: CIA’s Latest Torture Device?
Nov 11, 2009 | Filed Under: Style | Tags: Huh?
Imagine chasing after your little ones in THESE claw-like monstrosities from Alexander McQueen:
As If Childbirth Isn’t Harrowing Enough…
Sep 18, 2009 | Filed Under: Pregnancy | Tags: Huh?
Behold the mind-boggling patent for an “Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force” Continue Reading »
Cuddle with the Stuffed Swine Flu Toy
Sep 9, 2009 | Filed Under: Kids' Products,Pop Culture | Tags: Creepy Toys, Health, Huh?
Because teddy bears are SO 2008, The Centers For Disease Control and Prevention Museum in Atlanta is now selling something even MORE adorable: a stuffed swine flu virus! Awwww.
