Posts Tagged ‘Busted’
Husband of the day so far: Wife discovers hubby’s second marriage on Facebook
Aug 5, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Busted, Love & Marriage
Till Facebook do us part
Turns out, Facebook does more than keep you apprised of what your high school friend’s seven-year-old ate for breakfast — it also helps you investigate your lying bigamist of a “husband.” That is, if you don’t already have the Bigamist Investigation app on your iPhone.
The scoop: Lynn France suspected her hubby John (with whom she has two children) was cheating, so she tracked Johnny Boy down at a hotel and, lo and behold, she was right.
“He was there with this girlfriend,” Lynn told The Daily Mail. “I said, ‘Hey, I’m his wife. We’ve got a baby.’ ”
I guess the girlfriend, Amanda, was nonplussed — marriage, schmarriage — because she simply told Lynn that she was engaged to Johnny Boy. When Lynn’s friend recommended that she check out the woman on Facebook, she did — and found not only photos of the woman’s bridal shower, but also a Disney World WEDDING at which Amanda had dressed up like Sleeping Beauty and John as Prince Charming.
He’s Prince Charming, all right.
After discovering the photos, Lynn began divorce proceedings. I can’t imagine why! John France doesn’t deny he married Amanda, but says he’s no bigamist because his first marriage to Lynn has since been declared invalid due to a clerical error.
Well, THAT clears it all up.
CSI: Playground
Jun 29, 2010 | Filed Under: Funny Baby Pictures,Other Photos | Tags: Busted
Jeremy’s promising life of crime is cut short by his total lack of poker face.
Prom: A Night to Remember (and Hock Loogies at Police Officers)
May 19, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Ah Youth, Busted
"This is my f*cking prom."
On my prom night back in the Stone Ages, my worst crime was showing unseemly tan lines in a strapless dress. Yes! Unseemly! This chick to the right, however — SHE sure knows how to make the prom a night to remember. Or not remember, given her level of intoxication.
Parent of the Week: Father Leaves Pot in Son’s Elmo Backpack
Apr 13, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Busted, Father of the Week, Just Wrong
Talk about parenting ethics going to pot: A father from my home state, Pennsylvania, was arrested for hiding several ounces of marijuana in the Elmo backpack his son took to kindergarten.
Who Needs Car Seats When We’ve Got Coors Light?
Sep 8, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Busted, I'll Drink to That
A band of merry alcohol smugglers in Australia have been busted for making children sleep on beer in an effort to conceal the contraband in their cars.
Police were searching cars they believed were on their way to remote Aboriginal communities where liquor is banned — which may be the REAL travesty of this story — when they found the unrestrained children unwittingly hiding the goods.
I feel terrible for the kids, but am intrigued by this new kind of Robin Hood: taking from the drunk to give to the alcohol-poor!
During a search they found a young, unrestrained child sleeping on top of a case of beer in the backseat. Meanwhile, a search of another car revealed a child sitting on top of a beer carton that had been covered by a blanket.
Fosters: Australian for “car seat.”
Sergeant Conan Robertson says both children were put in unsafe situations.
“The hope has got to be that people realize that the value [of] their child is far higher than a carton of beer,” he said.
I’ll drink to that!
Last year, the same neighborhood attracted international attention after police caught a driver who had put a seatbelt around a beer carton, but left a child unrestrained.
Suddenly, I’m feeling like a much better parent. I always restrain my baby AND my six-packs.
Mom Caught Boinking in Car Uses Infallible “We Got Horny” Defense
May 19, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Busted, Mother of the Week, Totally Sober
These two totally sober-looking individuals, Danica Wallace, 24, and Jeremy Welch, 29, were recently arrested in Ohio after the cops spotted the reportedly pantless duo having sex in a car.
But wait — there’s more!
Danica’s two small children, ages four years and 22 months, were sitting in the back while they were knocking da boots. Something tells me the traumatized kids will ask to take the bus from now on.
Good ol’ Jeremy, described as “extremely intoxicated,” had a simple explanation for their behavior: “We got horny and just wanted to fuck!!” (The reporting officer added the extra exclamation point for emphasis.)
Meanwhile, Mother of the Week contender Danica, who failed a series of field sobriety tests, claimed to have only consumed a 22-ounce bottle of Budweiser.
“I’m not completely drunk,” she assured police.
That’s good enough for me. Please, continue on your way, ma’am!
Mom Arrested After Kicking Squabbling Kids to the Curb
Apr 21, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News,Style | Tags: Busted, Mother of the Year
Kenny G, is that you?
A mom who was fed up with her 10- and 12-year-old daughters fighting ordered them to get out of the car — and drove away.
Sounds like someone has been watching too many episodes of “Desperate Housewives.”
Of course, it’s not like the woman exactly abandoned them in Compton. She left them in the swanky White Plains business district three miles from their home. The report does not reveal whether the girls had cell phones or whether the frustrated mom, Madlyn Primoff, 45, a partner in a Manhattan law firm, ever returned to look for the girls. However, police did say that the 12-year-old eventually caught up with the mother. Meanwhile, the 10-year-old was found by a “Good Samaritan” on the street, reportedly upset and emotional about losing her mother.
Madlyn pleaded not guilty to a charge of endangering a child. A temporary order of protection was issued, barring her from all contact with the children (Ed. note: Seriously?), who were physically unharmed.
This is why I’m installing a camcorder in my car before Baby Girl arrives. That way, I can use the footage as Exhibit A when I enter my insanity plea!
Mother of the Year Contender
Mar 26, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Busted, Mother of the Year
"Wait -- should I not have done that?"
Here’s a strong contender for Mother of the Year:
Montana resident Angela Parenteau, 32, was feeling under the weather and, rather than risk driving under the influence of Tylenol, she wisely let her 12-year-old daughter drive her other three younger children — ages 1, 2 and 4 — to daycare five miles away.
Well, we are talking about Montana. It’s not like there would be any oncoming traffic during a five-mile trip.
Police were alerted by daycare employees, who saw the young girl drive up. Probably chugging a latte with one hand, texting with the other — just like 99 percent of licensed drivers.
Parenteau reportedly told police she didn’t want to take the kids herself because she was sick and on medication. So, obviously, she had no other choice, people!
Parenteau was cited with four counts of endangering the welfare of children and one count of allowing an unauthorized minor to operate a motor vehicle.
In Parenteau’s defense, she likely read Teen Vogue‘s article about how “12 is the New 16″ and thought her daughter COULD legally drive. Hell, my grandma heard 80 is the new 21 and wonders why bartenders aren’t carding her. It really is hard to keep the aging process straight anymore.
