Posts Tagged ‘Britney Spears’
Young Moms Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears Spark Debate with — GASP! — Bikinis
Sep 1, 2009 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears
Considering the drama that’s dominated the Spears sisters’ lives the past few years — teenage pregnancies, shaved heads and custody battles… oh my! — these recent pictures of Britney and Jamie Lynn relaxing by the pool in Miami seem downright boring in comparison. Right…? Well, not if you ask Us Weekly‘s readers, who never fail to disappoint with their eloquent insight into pop culture and human behavior.
A few of the more wise comments made by the magazine’s readers about these pictures of the young mothers (with my responses to their observations):
9:15 PM Anonymous Says:
NO RUMORS ABOUT IT…THEY ARE LESLIANS….I CAN SAY WHAT I LIKE, ITS A FREE WORLD & I HAVE FREE SPEECH….YOU DON’T LIKE IT? DON’T READ IT!
Candy says: In case you’re not as educated as this reader, a “leslian” is a person whose sexual orientation is to women and men named “Leslie.”
8:50 PM tina Says:
Sorry, nudity has its place, and it is not in public. Period. They look like skanks.
Candy says: That’s right! They should know better than to go out nak — um, what?
7:31 PM Anonymous Says:
They really should put some clothes on!!
They are mothers-aren’t They?
Candy says: Yes! And all mothers should be forced to wear the “mom uniform” of flesh-covering sweatsuits or khakis. Bathing suits should NOT allowed for the child-bearing set. Ew.
7:06 PM Anonymous Says:
I enjoy watching others in their bikinis. I am a guy and I wear Speedo type swimwear whenever I can. I would like for US to show both sexes in bikini swimwear.
Candy says: You and me both, buddy. You and me both.
Deep Thoughts by Jayden James Federline
Jul 14, 2009 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: Britney Spears, Jayden James Federline
“Mom REALLY needs to stop borrowing my shirts.”
And Now This Word from Jayden Federline…
Jun 15, 2009 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Celebrity Spawn,Other Photos,Pop Culture | Tags: Britney Spears, Jayden James Federline, Sean Preston Federline
“Hey, punk! You take an upskirt shot of my mom, and I’ll stick this pacifier where the sun don’t shine. Capiche?”
Adnan Ghalib Threatens, Er… Teases Us with Britney Spears Sex Tape
Sep 29, 2008 | Filed Under: Pop Culture | Tags: Britney Spears, Sexy Time
This holiday shopping season is shaping up to be rife with classy gift options!
On the heels of the introduction of Hooker Barbie, comes the possibility of some wholesome family entertainment: a Britney Spears-Adnan Ghalib sex tape.
Adnan is mending his broken heart — and his plummeting PR stock — by shopping around the alleged footage for “the right price.”
“There is such a tape, but I won’t discuss prices for hypothetical enquiries. Unless there is a locked-in deal, I will go no further,” boasted the master negotiator.
I know what you’re thinking and, yes, Adnan did, in fact, say “enquiries,” not “inquiries,” because that’s how the Brits say it. True story.
Possible titles for the sure-to-be-romantic film include:
- A Tale of Two Landing Strips
- When a Man Exploits a Woman
- Gimme Gimme More, Gimme More
- Breakfast at Starbuck’s
- When Hairy Met Silly
Breaking: Lynne Spears Possesses Vocal Chords!
Sep 17, 2008 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: Britney Spears, Creepy Celebrity Parents, Jamie Lynn Spears
It’s strange. I’ve never heard Lynne Spears speak before. Kind of jarring at first, like the first time I heard my cats talk. (Yes, I speak Cat! Don’t be jealous ’cause I’m bilingual.) Once I got over my initial shock that The Mother of Britney possesses vocal chords, I had a slightly different reaction — that of, I would like to slap this damn woman silly. Letting your barely adolescent daughter jet around the world alone and thinking it was “all coming up roses”? Hell, my father wouldn’t even let me see “Back to the Future II” with a boy when I was 14.
DAD: I said ‘no!’ You’re too young to go on a date, missy.
ME: I hate you! You’ve ruined my LIFE! [DRAMATIC SNIFFLE, PAUSE] But maybe you can make it up to me by getting me that awesome pair of acid-wash jeans I saw at Fashion Bug?
Clueless, thy name is Lynne Spears. And you have vocal chords!
But you don’t make nearly as much sense as my cats.
Here is Lynne chatting with Today‘s Meredith Vieira, who asks the tough questions such as, “So you didn’t see any pitfalls along the way [when Britney was becoming famous]?” And allows Lynne to say, “No, no!” — without any follow-up questions. Um, okay.
Key quote: Lynne knew Jamie Lynn wasn’t joking about being pregnant when she “saw Casey’s feet on the coffee table.” Yes, that’s usually a tell-tale sign. Any pregnancy book will tell you: Morning sickness; dizziness; and the babydaddy’s feet on the coffee table. True story.
Pop Quiz: Jamie Lynn Spears' Baby Girl
Sep 16, 2008 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: Babies, Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears, Pop Quiz
Maddie Briann is thinking what in this picture:
1) Ugh. I shouldn’t have washed down those Cheetos with a Jack-and-Coke;
2) Grandma owes me big-time for this corny photo-op;
3) The Wall Street shakeup has really shaken my confidence in the financial markets;
4) My Surfer Barbie‘s got a better weave than Aunt Brit;
5) I’m so tired of them debating whether possum is “the other white meat!”;
6) I’d rather be watching Project Runway;
7) None of the above. Maddie is thinking _______________.
Britney Spears Rehearsing for… the VMAs?
Sep 5, 2008 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: Britney Spears, VMA's
In perhaps the biggest journalistic scoop since Vogue blew the lid off the secret to smoky eyes, MSN has gotten its sneaky li’l hands on a video of Britney Spears — GASP! — rehearsing for, well, something.
Britney’s Back!
Could it be for her big VMAs comeback on Sunday? In preparation for another angry dance-off with Justin at the after-party? The debut of Taco Bell’s even meatier gordita?
I know, I know. So many questions, so few answers.
But I CAN tell you this…
The secret is blending the color to the lash line, diffusing as you move toward the outer corner of the eye. And voilà! As smoky as a coffee shop in Amsterdam.
Lynne Spears' Guide to Getting "Through the Storm"
Sep 4, 2008 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: Britney Spears, Celebrities Are Wise
From Lynne’s touching memoir, Through The Storm: A Real Tale Of Fame And Family In A Tabloid World…
Break out your pen and pad, parents! Here’s how to raise your child, Spears-style:
1. Allow your child to start drinking at age 13 — no biggie, as long as you’re around to supervise the keg stands;
2. Encourage 14-year-old daughter to lose her virginity to 18-year-old football player, especially if this will make her more popular;
3. Send your 15-year-old kid to Los Angeles to record her first album, snort her first drugs — and dismiss as “typical teenage problems”;
4. Allow managers to whore out teenage daughter as a “Lolita” to compete with older performers;
5. Laugh “Oops! She did it again!” when 16-year-old daughter caught with pot and coke while boarding private plane;
6. Smile when 16-year-old starts screwing Justin Timberlake in bedroom next to yours because, hey, those crazy kids are “in love!”
It’s just that easy! Follow these Six Simple Rules for Raising Your Daughter — all for the low price of $16.49 — and you, too, can profit from your mentally unstable kid and 17-year-old mommy. Don’t delay — the gravy train express is going by fast!
