Posts Tagged ‘Beauty’
May 12, 2009
All the stinky ladies…. All the stinky ladies… Now put your hands up!
Thank goodness the Chinese have our backs or, um, boxes for “when stinks” — complete with handy-dandy diagrams, no less. Can’t imagine why an agent would be necessary, however. The copy sells itself!
[via Engrish]
Apr 17, 2009
Moms who choose not to commemorate their pregnancy with a scrapbook, blog or what-have you still often have another lasting memento: stretch marks. Yay! A pregnancy roadmap forever etched on your breasts! How wonderful. Or… not.
Personally, I’m not too keen on my stomach looking like the New Jersey Turnpike, although [...]
Apr 13, 2009
Injecting poison and a possible bioterrorism agent into the face: fun that both genders can enjoy!
According to Time, the number of men getting Botox tripled from 2001 to 2007 — a hot new trend they’re calling “boytox.” But I’m hoping it’s not too late to popularize “Brotox” instead, because that’s a hell of a [...]
Feb 17, 2009
Did any of you watch The Real Housewives of New York season premiere tonight? Because, although I will always be grateful to Bethenny Frankel for her Skinny Girl Margarita recipe , I am gravely concerned about the State of Her Breasts:
Is that… a belly button on her chest? Would that be called a [...]
Sep 19, 2008
Reminds me of my favorite ’80s Pantene commercial: “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.” Oh, I don’t hate you, my lovely. But I DO want to slap you silly for saying that.
By the way, thank you, Karma, for working your magic with the whole Steven Segal marriage thingy. Much appreciated.
Sep 19, 2008
*Based on the highly scientific formula of reviewing photographs of the woman taken yesterday and today.
1) Embrace your natural beauty with minimal makeup and hair product.
2) Exit car in most graceful manner possible.
3) Three words: Lucite, lucite, lucite
4) Don’t keep the world guessing — let them know you’re wearing undergarments.
5) Once they know, remove undergarments [...]
Sep 17, 2008
When I think of natural beauty, I think of the endless expanse of stars, as great as the ocean. The sight of a mother holding her newborn child. The look on Clooney’s face when I surprise him by jumping out of his closet.
And, of course, the most naturally beautiful wonder of all, an understated beauty [...]
Sep 16, 2008
1. Cover Shot = Lindsay Lohan + Kate Hudson
2. “Biggest Issue Ever!” = More ads than you can possibly bear
3. “Amazing Breakthroughs!” = You’ll have to take out a loan to afford these beauty products
4. “Tear-Out Beauty Guide” = Yet more crap to litter Candy’s your already-overflowing desk
5. “New Juice Fasts: Do They Really Work?”: [...]
