Just a li’l parenting tip from us to you…
(Not that I know anything about being a drunk college student. *Ahem*) 10. They have no problem passing out in strange places...Read More
You know those ubiquitous “MY CHILD IS AN HONOR STUDENT AT BLAH-BLAH MIDDLE SCHOOL” bumper stickers? Well, I was...Read More
As everyone who watched the Oscars last night knows — and even everyone who DIDN’T watch the Oscars knows — John Travolta totally butchered Idina Menzel’s name when introducing the Frozen singer last night:
Yes! “Adele Dazim!” But I think it’s pretty obvious why John messed it up so badly — he was simply using the TODDLER pronunciation of her name. Of course! Heck, toddlers have a way of hilariously mangling tons of words. Some other things John probably says, based on real-life toddler mispronunciations:
“Hey, I’m going potty! A little private-seat would be appreciated.” –John Travolta
“Mmmm! Yummy pant-cakes!” –John Travolta
“Just taking a little spin in my helipopper!” –John Travolta
“To be honest, the weave is too tight around my head-fore.” –John Travolta
“I could really go for a plate of pisketti and meatballs right now. –John Travolta
Because when you think of quality family time, you think of judging celebrities’ outfits together. Also, I should note that I did not prompt or in any other way influence my four-year-old daughter’s responses to the photos. Turns out, she is a fashion police NATURAL. (*Sniff* I’ve never been so proud.)
4-YEAR-OLD: Yes. Looks like it has butterflies on it.
MR. CANDY: Pretty dress, but washes her out.
ME: Looks like she had Britney Spears’ Toxic bodysuit made into a ballgown.
As you’re kicking Legos and fruit snack wrappers and sippy cups full of rotten milk out of your way en route to the couch, remember: at least your house doesn’t look like THIS:
#1 – I think they could really use more take-out soda cups.
#2 – Some living rooms are full of dirt. Others? Have dirt bikes.
#3 – “Hey, could you put back — oh, never mind.”
#4 – Some people like to sleep under a cozy layer of take-out boxes.
#5 – Somebody should let the boy who plays romantic guitar music that NO girl is going to want to join him in this room.
#6 – Yet another fan of the comfy take-out-container quilt.
#7 – “Sorry, boss, can’t work today because I can’t find my home office.”
#8 – Kitchen counters are the new trashcans.
#9 – Just a few (hundred) of their favorite beauty products.
A new survey by mental health professionals has revealed parents around the country are suffering from a debilitating condition called “Frozen Fatigue” — a condition that makes moms and dads feel like they are going to go ABSOLUTELY INSANE if they have to listen to the Frozen soundtrack one more freakin’ time. (Hey, I enjoyed it the first hundred times, but after that…? I actually told my four-year-old daughter that if she didn’t start using headphones, we were going to have to use her college savings to admit Mommy into a looney bin.) If you believe that you, too, may have fallen victim to this tragic condition, then you will want to familiarize yourself with the warning signs:
Robin Thicke and Paula Patton announce their separation.