No Extra Credit for Dripping Sarcasm
Apr 18, 2012 | Filed Under: Education, The Work of Kids | Tags: Funny Photos
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Sh*t Toddlers Say
Apr 18, 2012 | Filed Under: Candy's Column | Tags: Kids Say the Darndest Things, Miss Skye, Sh*t Toddlers Say
SKYE: Don’t take my socks off!
ME: We have to. They’re smelly. P.U.
SKYE: P.U.!
ME: Yes! Skylar’s feet! P.U.!
SKYE: Mommy’s feet! P.U.!
ME: Daddy’s feet! P.U.!
SKYE: Mommy’s ‘gina! P.U.!
ME: Okay, there’s funny…and then there’s just downright cold.
The Family Dish: Zuma Rossdale Celebrates Bookies & Madonna Laments Lourdes’ Li’l Smoking Habit
Apr 18, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities
TOTS ON THE RED CARPET: Gwen Stefani and 5-year-old Zuma attend the Milk + Bookies Third Annual Story Time Celebration
And I can’t help but think: Milk and BOOKIES? Isn’t Zuma a little young to be gambling?
MOM CONFESSIONS: Madonna says she wants to be a “tougher” mom and dislikes Lourdes’ smoking
Oh, what child hasn’t been caught smoking in the tabloids, really?
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Couples Conceive Amazing(ly Weird) Maternity Portraits
Apr 17, 2012 | Filed Under: Precious Pregnancy Photos | Tags: Awful Pregnancy Photos
The only thing more awkward than trying to stand up from a sitting position when you’re nine months pregnant…may just be these pregnancy photos.
The Low Road Taken
Apr 17, 2012 | Filed Under: Musings | Tags: Toddlers
There are people who assume that I, being a thirty-mumble-grumble-year-old mother of two, must be more mature than my two-year-old daughter. Those people are, no offense, total idiots.
I am supposed to be the mature one, the one who rises above my toddler’s outbursts and bossiness to impart wisdom and calm. I know this. And, despite still feeling like a 12-year-old girl at heart, I do try to fulfill those maternal obligations, putting on my best “Mom Face” and calmly uttering useless parenting phrases like “Use your words” and “Why are you upset?” in the midst of my daughter having a face-down meltdown in the middle of Target because I had the gall to request she sit in the cart instead of underneath the rack of bras. I usually handle these situations with what I would call an impressive amount of patience [INSERT SELF-CONGRATULATORY BACK PAT HERE], rarely losing my temper and pretending I don’t notice that old lady glaring at me accusatorily, as if I am purposely pinching my child’s arm to make her scream like this.
Then there are the times I break and my inner 12-year-old takes over.
“NO!” Skye screams.
“Yes,” I respond, knowing full well it will make her yell even louder:
“NO!”
“Yes.”
“NO!”
“Yes.”
At this point, I have no clue what we’re even debating. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her have the last word about this clearly very important argument. The back-and-forth continues until:
Funny Kid Picture: A Dog Cone for Two
Apr 17, 2012 | Filed Under: Animals, Funny Baby Pictures, Funny Kid Pictures | Tags: Dog Cone, Dogs, Funny Pictures of Babies and Dogs
“Better not laugh at me, kid. If you keep biting your friends at daycare, you could end up in one of these things, too!”



















