New Zealand’s List of Banned Baby Names: Lucifer and Anal and III, Oh My!

When people bestow their kids with weird names here in the States, we celebrate them with coverage in the tabloids.  In New Zealand, however, the government has been known to reject strange monikers– and their Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages just released an updated list of 77 unacceptable baby names, perhaps to discourage new parents from picking ones that, well, might haunt their children for life. The name Justice was rejected the most — a whopping 62 times, CNN reports.

Middle names likely included IsServed and OfthePeace.

"You tried to call me WHAT?!"

“You tried to call me WHAT?!”

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Thank a Teacher

teacher-late-assignemtnRe-posting this from September 28, 2010 in honor of Teacher Appreciation Week…

I walked to the front of the classroom and handed my homework, an essay about the horrors of babysitting, to Mr. Shirley.  The writing assignment had been due the previous week, but I’d forgotten all about it in the midst of going to Pittsburgh for state orchestra.  I had won fourth chair in the viola section, an honor of which I was quite proud, and assumed that being an orchestra geek and generally well-behaved student would earn me a free pass on missing the assignment deadline.  I was wrong.

“Too late,” Mr. Shirley hissed, not even looking at me, busying himself with the important task of randomly shuffling papers on his desk.

“But I had state orchestra!” I cried indignantly, shoving the assignment under his nose.  He shoved it back.

“That does not exempt you from deadlines in this classroom!”

“But you let Jill hand hers in late –”

“Jill asked for permission beforehand.”

The increasingly angry paper shoving continued.

“I don’t see what the big deal is.”

Mr. Shirley finally met my eyes, his face redder than a maraschino cherry.  My assignment now a crumpled ball in his hands.

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The Celebrity Stork Roundup: David and Harper Beckham Offer Daily Dose of Cuteness and Sugar Bear Makes June an Honest Woman

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Two-year-old Harper and her mom visit David Beckham in Paris to help him celebrate his 38th birthday.

Coincidentally, a squeeze and kiss from David Beckham is on MY birthday wish list.

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Rachel Zoe and husband Rodger Berman offer son Skyler a makeshift swing while leaving lunch in L.A.

Probably for the best he doesn’t scuff his $500 toddler boots, anyway.

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Top 10 Signs You Are Ready to Have Baby #2

When you’re already juggling one kid—and everything else in life—it can be hard to remember to put on your pants before leaving the house, let alone figure out if you are ready to add another little one to the craziness. So, as a mother of two, I thought I would help those on the fence about having a second baby by lending my wisdom with this can’t-fail guide:

Top 10 Signs You Are Ready to Have Baby #2

10. You find yourself clutching your child’s outgrown newborn clothes and crying, “I wish I knew how to quit you!”

9. You reflect on your first childbirth experience and shrug, “You know, maybe being in labor for 48 hours wasn’t so bad, after all.”

8. You decide you are too well-rested.

7. You can’t help but run up to new parents and take a whiff of their baby, just to savor that delicious “new baby smell.” Even when they threaten to call the cops.

6. You start dressing the dog in “Little Brother” onesies.

5.  You lustily ogle three-row minivans.

4. You don’t have any desire to try hip, new restaurants or partake in fine dining (without embarrassment). Restaurants that serve crayons with the meal are the best.

3. You have already picked out names for baby #2. And set up e-mail and Twitter accounts.

2. You throw toys on the floor and declare, “The house isn’t cluttered enough!”

1. You never stopped wearing your maternity pants, anyway.

5 Best Things About Having a Diaper-Free Baby

The latest controversy sweeping parenting news — isn’t there always a controversy sweeping parenting news? — is mothers who let their babies, as young as just days old, go diaper-free. Parents say they choose the method for many reasons, including fostering better early communication with their children and reducing their environmental impact by getting rid of disposable diapers.

Living with the constant risk of having a kid crap all over the floor not for you?  Well, perhaps you haven’t thought about THESE benefits:

To diaper or not to diaper, that is the question.

5 Best Things About Having a Diaper-Free Baby

5.  Now you’ll REALLY get your money’s worth out of the dog’s new pooper scooper.

4.  Baby will have unique first word:  “COMMANDO.”

3.  When friend brags that baby is holding her head up, you can retort:  “How sweet.  Did I mention my FOUR-DAY-OLD is already potty training?”

2.  Newborn son pees all over swing instead of your face.

1.  “Diaper bag” becomes “Mom’s Wine Transportation Bag.”

The Celebrity Stork Roundup: Pink Calls Daughter’s Concussion “Worst Day of Her Life” and Kim & Kanye Spread Their… Baby Joy

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Alfonso Ribeiro and his wife, Angela, announced they are expecting their first baby together. 
A celebratory Carlton dance could not have been far behind.

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Pink calls Willow’s concussion the “worst day of her life,” telling Glamour magazine: “Willow and I were at the pool and I was taking her to nap time. She was walking just a foot in front of me, and she trips and falls and gets a concussion.  She passed out. Cut to an ambulance and fire truck and a CAT scan.”
Man, some toddlers will do ANYTHING to get out of taking a nap, won’t they?

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5 Coolest Things About Abdicating The Throne to Your Son

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I thought I was a selfless mom for sharing my coffee cake with my son this morning, but no…!  Turns out, Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands earned the “Mom of the Day” title today when she abdicated the throne to her eldest son, Willem-Alexander, allowing him to become the first King of the Netherlands in more than 120 years.  Quite a nice gesture on Beatrix’s part, especially considering she is now just a lame princess.  But when you think about it, there are some perks to abdicating the throne to your son:

The 5 Coolest Things About Abdicating The Throne to Your Son

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