What I Learned from the 2010 Emmy Awards
Aug 29, 2010 | Filed Under: Pop Culture | Tags: Emmys
George Clooney really needs to put on a few pounds.
These people could sure use more alcohol.
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Fashion Police: Worst Dressed at the 2010 Emmys
Aug 29, 2010 | Filed Under: Fashion Police,Pop Culture | Tags: Emmys, Fashion Police
Time for my favorite part of any awards show: the worst-dressed. (And, really, who better to judge these people’s style than the woman sitting here in dirty velour track pants, with string cheese hanging from her mouth…?)
Anna Paquin says, “Ole!”
Oh, look! January Jones’ breasts are covered with cocktail umbrellas, which would have landed her on the best dressed list, if only she’d had the decency to put them in a Mai-Tai for me.
Fashion Police: Best Dressed at the 2010 Emmys
Aug 29, 2010 | Filed Under: Fashion Police,Pop Culture | Tags: Emmy Awards, Fashion Police
These fashion “winners” must pass a very rigorous test here at Laughing Stork Headquarters: the ability to make me nod and squeal, “Ooohhh! Pretty!”
Claire Danes, who I’ve noticed perpetually cocks her head to the left, is a glowing, radiant, happy-looking golden girl from head to toe. Angela Chase would not approve.
Well, hello there, Jane Lynch! Way to successfully make the cross-over from worst to best dressed. The tabloid style pages will be SINGING your praises. (See what I did there?) Well-done. Well-done, indeed.
Candy’s TGIF Party Sangria
Aug 27, 2010 | Filed Under: TGIF Drinks
As you may remember, my child was down in the dumps last week with a post-vaccine fever, a touch of a virus, plus (as it turns out), an eighth tooth breaking through. Good times all around. This week…? Genuinely good times. When in good health, Miss Skye is such fun to hang out with. She is cruising around the house like nobody’s business — and is so close to walking on her own that it’s almost ridiculous. This weekend I’m going to try dangling a piece of chocolate on the other side of the room to “help” her along. That same technique has worked to get me out of bed.
So, yeah, happiness abounds here at Chez Candy. And when I’m in a good mood on a hot summer day, there is no better TGIF drink than this:
PARTY (pronounced par-tay) SANGRIA
Sangria happens to be one of my specialties; I’ve helped kick off more than a few parties with my “special” (read: STRONG) recipe. This particular concoction is modified to make only one glass — and, I promise, is not so strong that it will lead to you drunk-Tweeting about your brother-in-law’s “secret” cross-dressing habit.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The Bad Cat in the Hat: Part Deux
Aug 27, 2010 | Filed Under: Animals,Marcy & Matty,Photoblog | Tags: Bad Cat in the Hat
From my recently launched “The Bad Cat in the Hat” photo series. I call this one Devil in a Red Cap.
So very fitting.
[Hat sold on Etsy]
This Toy Must Kill at Show and Tell
Aug 27, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Laugh Links, Weekly News Roundup
A protest over Dexter serial killer doll being sold at Toys “R” Us. Just be sure your kids learn an important life lesson from it: yes, killing is wrong, but at least Dexter always cleans up after himself! [ABC Affiliate]
More children being held back by parents and entering kindergarten at age six, so that they’re stronger and more advanced than peers. Also, more legal drinking time in college. Woo-hoo! [NYT]
It’s a boy for the Travoltas. Let the downpour of blue-colored gifts begin… [People]
Los Angeles unveils costliest school in the nation, with $100 million-plus campuses boasting “architectural panache and deluxe amenities.” How idiotic! How wasteful! How… do I get my kid enrolled there? [MSNBC]
A satisfying solution to having to do laundry. That doesn’t require simply buying new clothes. [Teeny Manolo]
Latino sextuplets to star in TLC’s new series, Sextuplets Take New York. Which SHOULD have been called Sextuplets and the City. [New York Magazine]
Let Sleeping Dogs Lie
Aug 26, 2010 | Filed Under: Animals | Tags: ZZZZZZZZ
“Midterm election primaries…?”
“Wake me up when it’s all over. Okay, thanks, nighty-night.“
Pride & Prejudice: The Tale of One Toddler’s Triumph
Aug 26, 2010 | Filed Under: Candy's Column | Tags: Heartbreaking, Miss Skye
Many people believe the three-feet-and-under set have it easy, what with having around-the-clock butt wipers, booger-picking servants and personal chefs and all. However, toddlers suffer prejudice, too — and nowhere is that more evident than the furniture industry, which continues to produce chairs and sofas that are largely inaccessible to these little people, forcing them to reach up and grunt at the adults smugly lounging on the furniture, in hopes that the adults will take pity on them and give ‘em a lift. Yes! They grunt! Simply humiliating.
Just look at the heartbreaking effect this bias has had on my daughter. Why, over the past month, I have discovered her relegated to sitting in shoeboxes…
Her devastation is evident.
And suitcases…
Skye bravely disguises her pain
And, perhaps most embarrassingly of all, plastic containers.
"My dinner...?"
We knew we had to take action before we found the child forced to sit in, say, the cats’ litter box. Because that would just be a hilarious photo op terrible. So we finally ordered a chair custom-made for somebody of her diminutive stature:
Needless to say, Skye now thinks she’s the hottest thing since Suri Cruise in high heels. The perfect place to kick up her soft-soled sandals… after a morning of playing in the cats’ litter box. (You know it’s only a matter of time.)
