What to Expect from Kim and Kanye’s Wedding

As my fellow pop culture addicts surely are aware, the wedding of the CENTURY — well, okay, the wedding of the WEEK — is taking place soon.  That’s right; Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are gettin’ hitched in Paris!  (If the French didn’t have a bad impression of us before, they will now.)  So I thought I would give you an exclusive SNEAK PEEK at what we can expect to see at Le Wedding du Kimye.  (See, Mom and Dad?  Those seven years of French really DID pay off, after all!)

#1 – A wedding dress that mirrors Kim’s usual, um, modest style.

#2 – A cake featuring Kanye and his true love.  Awwww.

#3 - Wedding pictures and album, arranged by Kim’s mom.

#4 - Their closest friends in attendance.

#5 - Perhaps not the most eloquent wedding toast from Kendall.

#6 - Lots of beauty and elegance.

#7 – A no-show from North.  Because Kim knows as soon as she allows her cute baby at the wedding, NOBODY WILL NOTICE HER.  But, hopefully, they’ll let her come to the reception in time for the Electric Slide.  It would be cruel to deprive her of that.