Fatherhood is…
Apr 16, 2012 | Filed Under: Candy's Column, Mr. Candy | Tags: Fatherhood, Let's Hear It for the Boy
I recently came across a touching post on Scary Mommy called “Motherhood is,” which encapsulates for moms-to-be most everything we experience as moms: the good; the bad; and the downright filthy (like our cars and the kids’ diapers). It made me nod and smile and take an extra moment to savor my two little ones and breathe in their deliciousness. It also made me think, Hey, what about the dads and dads-to-be? Don’t they want to know what they’re getting into, too? I know guys don’t often wax poetic about this stuff like us chicks are prone to do, so I asked Mr. Candy if he had any thoughts about what “Fatherhood is” to him — and, lo and behold, he had a fantastic list for me in, like, five minutes.
So here it is, guys: “Fatherhood is…” by my husband (along with a few addenda/interjections from me, as us wives are prone to do).
Fatherhood is having nightmares about the words “Some Assembly Required.”
Fatherhood is having even the toughest day at work melt away when you come home and hear “Daddy!” and get enveloped by tiny little arms.
Fatherhood is giving horsey rides until your back gives out.
10 Things I Do in My Car Now That I Never Imagined Doing Pre-Kids
Apr 15, 2012 | Filed Under: Top 10 Lists
Since becoming a mom, my vehicle has not only grown from a two-seat convertible to a mid-sized SUV (*SOB*), but what I find myself doing in my car has also changed dramatically. Crazy things I never could have even fathomed before having kids. For example:
10. Heeding the speed limit (without a police car in sight!).
9. Doing my hair and makeup because it’s the only opportunity I have to look in a mirror.
8. Leaning over a car seat to nurse my hungry, wailing baby as my husband drives — and barely caring if anyone sees me. (Oh, hi there, Old Lady and Old Lady’s Husband in the Honda Accord!)
7. Using the floor of my car as a toy box-slash-waste basket (that rarely gets emptied).
6. Turning off The Fugees’ “Killing Me Softly” on the radio to honor a rather, um, adamant request for Fresh Beat Band’s “Go Bananas” on CD.
5. Driving around the same block for an HOUR because I didn’t want to risk waking a napping child.
4. Actually RESISTING the temptation to swear at and/or give the finger to other drivers.
3. Changing a dirty diaper in the trunk in the middle of a Home Depot parking lot. (Fertilizer, anyone?)
2. Unearthing a sippy cup with milk so old, it was last drunk by Moses. (True story.)
1. Crying “How did you guys find me here?!” as my husband and kids knock on the window of the back seat and try to coerce me out of my hiding spot.
Now Here’s an XXX-tra Special Children’s Birthday Cake
Apr 15, 2012 | Filed Under: Kids' Birthday Party Cakes | Tags: Pink Phallic Castle Cake
Talk about Barbie’s dream castle.
The Dish: Angelina and Brad to Make Honest Folks Out of Each Other & Mattel to Make Katniss Barbie
Apr 13, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: Celebrity Family News Roundup
FIRST COME SIX KIDS, THEN COMES MARRIAGE: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie confirm that they are, in fact, ENGAGED!
And everyone wants to know: What role will Angelina’s Leg play in the ceremony? Guest Book Attendant? Limb of Honor?
PREGNANCY TALK: Hilary Duff says she “didn’t love” being pregnant
What, hemorrhoids and heartburn and swollen feet didn’t make you swoon? Freak.
The Down (There) and Dirty: What Women Really Need to Know About Childbirth and Its After-effects
Apr 13, 2012 | Filed Under: Health & Beauty, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Resources | Tags: Body After Childbirth, Post-Childbirth, Post-Childbirth Surprises, Postnatal Body, Postpartum
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been creepily lurking on…er, I mean, looking for information on…mom forums where brand-new-spankin’ mothers expressed their outrage about being clueless and unprepared when it came to the, um, after-effects of childbirth. That’s because some of those effects are unpleasant, embarrassing and, to be honest, totally forgotten within minutes, which is how the human race continues to live on. I mean, if most women clearly remembered how they looked in those mesh panties…well, let’s just say chimpanzees would be ruling this world (if they don’t already).
I’ve alluded to some of the unpleasantness here and there on this site, but I thought it might be helpful for the pregnant ladies out there to have a comprehensive list of all the strange things that may occur — the things they won’t find in What to Expect When You’re Expecting, that’s for sure. I know I would have appreciated a heads up. So, to all the expectant mamas out there whose baby showers I can’t attend: This list is my gift to you. Just keep in mind that every woman’s experience is different, of course — my observations are based on two smooth, epidural-enhanced vaginal deliveries.
With that verbose introduction, here they are:
