Humor & Satire
Yahoo! Answers: The World’s Most Reliable Source of Pregnancy Information
Jun 17, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire,Pregnancy | Tags: Pregnancy Advice, Yahoo Answers
As an expectant mother, I have frequently tapped into THE most reliable source of medical advice in the universe: the World Wide Web. Because everybody knows the Internet only dispenses information that is one-hundred-percent accurate.
This is especially true of Yahoo! Answers, where “you can ask questions on any topic and get answers from real people.” In fact, I was so impressed with the breadth of medical knowledge shared on this question-and-answer site, that I decided to highlight a few of the true gems:
Pregnancy & Labor Term of the Day: “Advanced Maternal Age”
Jun 16, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire | Tags: glossary of pregnancy and labor terms
Advanced Maternal Age
1. When a mother is age 35 or older at the time of delivery of her baby;
2. The age at which a woman is officially too old to date Jack Nicholson;
Pop Quiz: Carrot Cake Gone Wrong
Jun 10, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire | Tags: Hmmmm
This cake is in honor of what occasion?
1) The 2009 World Synchronized Carrot Humping Competition;
2) Hell, every occasion! This cake is appropriate for Thanksgiving, Grandma’s birthday, weddings, Arbor Day — you name it!;
Fun Game Time: Match the Baby with the Legume
Jun 4, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire | Tags: Games
Traditional pregnancy books and Web sites enjoy measuring babies’ prenatal growth and size in terms of foods, usually a fruit or a vegetable.
Test your baby’s knowledge of your baby’s legume status by matching the baby’s prenatal age with the corresponding food. Good luck!
SpongeBoob ShortPants
Jun 3, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire | Tags: Just Wrong, SpongeBob
I swear on my favorite set of martini glasses that I was innocently searching for “kids” + “TV” in Google images — NOT “SpongeBoob ShortPants” — when I came across this particular gem:
I thought SpongeBob lived in a pineapple — not melons? Personally, I’m less offended by the desecration of the animated sponge with ADD (the artistry is actually impressive), and much more offended by the fact she’s drinking Budweiser. Squidward would not approve.
It’s Confirmed: Jennifer Hudson is Hiding a Baby Under Those Hammer Pants
May 31, 2009 | Filed Under: Babies,Celebrities,Humor & Satire,Pop Culture | Tags: Jennifer Hudson
"Whatcoo talking about, Felicia?"
After a couple months of tabloid speculation, a weekend baby shower in Chicago has confirmed that Jennifer Hudson is indeed pregnant.
Also, this picture confirms that Hammer pants are indeed making a comeback. Lord help us all.
“It was a baby shower, a quiet gathering of friends and mostly family,” singer/actress Felicia Fields, a longtime Hudson friend, said of Saturday’s get-together in a relative’s home. “They’re really trying to keep it kind of quiet.”
Felicia would not say when the baby is due, only that the shower was “a nice time” and that Jennifer and her Harvard Law grad/reality star/aspiring professional wrestler fiance, David Otunga, did not yet know the gender.
Something tells me Loose Lips Felicia will not be asked to be the baby’s Godmother or to sit ring-side at David’s first trip to WrestleMania.
Parents Speak Out: Vaccinations
May 26, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire | Tags: Health, Parents Speak Out
A new study reveals that whooping cough has returned as parents skip their children’s vaccines. What are your thoughts on vaccinations?
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Word of the Day: Mommy Stalker
May 21, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire | Tags: Word of the Day
Mommy Stalker (mom’ee stôk’er) n.
1. A woman with children and no other employment, who nonetheless employs a housekeeper and full-time nannies and, therefore, has ample time to prey upon other mothers and harass them about going to the movies, having girls’ nights out, holding slumber parties and braiding each other’s hair, etc. — with no concept that other women actually spend time with their kids.
2. A mother in dire need of adult conversation who “casually” hangs out in the grocery store in hopes of meeting other mothers. This kind of stalker can be immediately identified by the wild look of desperation in her eye and dried formula in her hair. She may also be incoherently mumbling the “Barney” theme song over and over.
3. One who hunts MILFs. (See also: Ashton Kutcher; Jesus Luz)
Sentence usage: “Danger! Steer clear of the cereal aisle. There’s a mommy stalker trying to lure women back to her house by offering them ‘free’ Cap’n Crunch coupons!”
