Humor & Satire

May 4, 2009

Hide Your Kids — Paris Hilton Wants to Dress Them!

Paris Hilton is famous for dressing in children’s-sized clothing and possessing the I.Q. of a baby squid, so it is only natural that she has decided to design a line of clothing for kiddies. Paris announced on Twitter over the weekend: “Just got home from a long day.  About to start drawing the character for my new [...]
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Apr 30, 2009

Fun Game Time: The Laughing Stork’s Pregnancy Bingo!

Hey, you sexy Pregnant Ladies!  Need a break from your exciting weekend nights of Pay-Per-View movies and countless trips to the bathroom?  If so, have we got just the thing for you: PREGNANCY BINGO! Warning:  The sheer excitement of playing this game may cause urinary incontinence, nipple hair growth and lethal flatulence… oh wait, no.  That’s merely [...]
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Apr 27, 2009

Body Language Expert: Suri Cruise’s Moves Decoded!

A body language expert tells The Laughing Stork the true meaning behind Suri’s mysterious moves. By forcefully leaning forward, “she’s indicating she would like to take the lead on an important project,” body language expert Dr. I. Lie Freely tells TLS.  “Given the look of consternation of her face, I would say she’s definitely thinking about [...]
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Apr 21, 2009

Parents: The Unsung Heroes

  Joyce Whitcomb, 45, helped increase appetites — and sales — at her son’s baseball bake sale fundraiser by donating her “special herb brownies.”  Profits from the munchies-fueled event covered the cost of equipment, team uniforms and the hiring of new coach Joe Torre.         New father Brad Rowe demonstrated empathy for his wife, who suffered 31 hours [...]
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Apr 20, 2009

Op-Ed Contributor — Zahara Jolie-Pitt — How I’d Fix Our Broken Economy

BY ZAHARA JOLIE-PITT In between jet-setting to glamorous foreign cities I can’t pronounce and hiding the twins in Daddy’s gym bag — just a fun game we play! — I’ve been able to catch enough important news shows like “The Daily Show” to glean the American economy is broken.  And it’s not likely that my mom [...]
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Apr 2, 2009

Breaking: Suri Cruise Chews on Flip-Flop!

In a shocking development that has rocked the entire free world, two-and-a-half-year-old Suri Cruise was spotted — GASP! — chewing on a rubber flip-flop that she managed to extract from her foot. “We haven’t seen anything this horrifying since the Kingston Rossdale sand-eating incident of ‘07,” clucked Celebrity Baby Watchdog Chief and Woman with Excessive Time [...]
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Mar 26, 2009

The Laughing Stork Gossip Exclusive: Blind Item

WHICH longtime television star has been having clandestine meetings with a hair transplant specialist? Insiders say he hopes to turn around his stalled career with his new, luscious locks. He even turned to a certain “Pulp Fiction” actor for doctor recommendations and advice on how to revive his career, for which he’s currently only making [...]
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Feb 23, 2009

The Laughing Stork Gossip Exclusive: Blind Item

Which purple TV star isn’t so friendly behind the scenes of his popular show?  Insiders say he pretends to enjoy peanut butter sandwiches on-screen, but when the cameras are off he returns to his carnivorous T-Rex ways.  More than one young guest has been given the “A-1 Steak Sauce Treatment,” while parents are silenced with [...]
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