Humor & Satire
Birth Announcements Gone Horribly Wrong
Aug 17, 2009 | Filed Under: Featured,Humor & Satire | Tags: Birth Announcements
When researching girl birth announcements, it quickly became clear I had three thematic options: pink and white; pink and brown; pink and more pink. So we went with — hold on to your hats here — pink. I’d initially had visions of a, um, less pink and more original birth announcement. You know, something with color! Humor! Personality!
But when you’re running on two hours of sleep and have yellow baby poop in your hair…? A personality-filled birth announcement becomes less of a priority. I just wanted to get those freakin’ things in the mail. Bring on the pink!
In my deliriously exhausted state, however, I wondered: What if if some people were to be completely truthful with their announcements? I’m guessing they might look something like this:
Yeah, maybe pink’s not so bad, after all.
The Not-So-Glamorous Life of Baby Models
Jul 17, 2009 | Filed Under: Babies,Humor & Satire,Kids,Style | Tags: Just Wrong
You may think the life of a baby model is all high fashion and glamorous parties with milk-a-tinis at Chuck E. Cheese’s. As The Laughing Stork’s hard-hitting investigation into the Baby Modeling World reveals, however, there is a darker side:
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Happy Vasectomy Day!
Jul 14, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire | Tags: Awesomeness, Vasectomy, We Have a Runner
If men are known for one thing, it’s their high pain tolerance. No! I kid! As I was bowled over in pain yesterday from MY PELVIS SOFTENING AND SPREADING SO A BOWLING BALL-SIZED HUMAN CAN POP OUT OF THERE, Mr. Candy emerged from the bathroom, dramatically clutching his hand.
“I cut my finger on the toothbrush! Quick — get me a Band-Aid!” he cried.
You don’t even want to know how this occurred. Or how long he pouted. But suffice it to say his face looked something like this (sans kick-ass sombrero):
Yes, yes, that is indeed a cake celebrating the Big Snip! How awesome is that? Chock full of Vicodin, with a side of chopped nuts. Not sure to where Ted’s running in that get-up, though — perhaps to Mexico for “extra-strength” pain meds?
[Source]
Baby Shower Cakes: So Real You Can Taste It
Jul 6, 2009 | Filed Under: Featured,Humor & Satire,Pregnancy | Tags: Baby Shower Cakes
Behold this disturbingly realistic baby shower cake from British sugar artist Michelle Wibowo. (Ed. note: If I had a title as cool as “sugar artist,” I would require that everybody address me as such, like a doctor. “Hi, I’m Sugar Artist Candy Kirby. But you can just call me Sugar Artist Kirby…”). It is SO real-looking, in fact, that it’s a baby cake only Jeffrey Dahmer could truly enjoy digging into.
Pregnancy Food Cravings and What They Mean
Jul 2, 2009 | Filed Under: Featured,Humor & Satire,Pregnancy
Food: Sour Patch Kids
What it means: Your maternal instinct is telling you to eat small, sugar-coated children. Seek professional help immediately.
Yahoo! Answers: The World’s Most Reliable Source of Pregnancy and Parenting Information
Jul 1, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire | Tags: Yahoo Answers
As an expectant mother, I have frequently tapped into THE most reliable source of medical advice in the universe: the World Wide Web. Because everybody knows the Internet only dispenses information that is one-hundred-percent accurate.
This is especially true of Yahoo! Answers, where “you can ask questions on any topic and get answers from real people.” In fact, I was so impressed with the insightful questions and breadth of medical knowledge on this question-and-answer site, that I’ve decided to highlight the true gems in an ongoing column:
(What a terrible and untrue thing to say! — Leafy Green Candy)
(Something tells me Marley’s mother smoked weed while HE was in the womb.)
(Amen. –Sister Candy)
(This explains how Andy Dick was conceived.)
Is Our Children Learning?
Jun 24, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire | Tags: Cakes Gone Wrong, Graduation
Apparently, it’s the last grade the cake decorator made it through.
Pop Quiz: Disney Fans Gone Wild
Jun 18, 2009 | Filed Under: Humor & Satire | Tags: Pop Quiz
The purpose of these outfits is what:
1) To show why Disneyland is the “happiest place on earth”;
2) Make the point that Mickey and Minnie are just a pair of boobs;
3) Amusement park milkshakes!
4) See if they can make a Disney product more ridiculous than “The Santa Clause 2″ (answer: no, they cannot);
5) I don’t know, but I suspect alcohol was involved;
6) None of the above. The purpose of these outfits is _______________.
