Pregnancy
Jul 10, 2009
This couple is:
1) Recreating the night they conceived;
2) Looking down and realizing her water broke;
3) Posing for this year’s Christmas Card (you’re welcome, Grandma!);
4) Giving whole new meaning to “child support”;
5) Making the photographer seriously reconsider his career choice;
6) None of the above. They are _____________.
p.s. Mr. Candy and I once toured an open house [...]
Jul 6, 2009
Behold this disturbingly realistic baby shower cake from British sugar artist Michelle Wibowo. (Ed. note: If I had a title as cool as “sugar artist,” I would require that everybody address me as such, like a doctor. “Hi, I’m Sugar Artist Candy Kirby. But you can just call me Sugar Artist Kirby…”). It is SO [...]
Jul 2, 2009
Food: Sour Patch Kids
What it means: Your maternal instinct is telling you to eat small, sugar-coated children. Seek professional help immediately.
Jun 30, 2009
On more than one occasion, when I would tell a friend that I was pregnant, s/he would exclaim, “Congratulations!” followed soon thereafter by a supposedly reassuring, “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll lose the weight quickly!”
No pressure or anything.
And it’s no wonder people have such crazy expectations these days, what with Heidi Klum walking the freakin’ [...]
Jun 17, 2009
As an expectant mother, I have frequently tapped into THE most reliable source of medical advice in the universe: the World Wide Web. Because everybody knows the Internet only dispenses information that is one-hundred-percent accurate.
This is especially true of Yahoo! Answers, where “you can ask questions on any topic and get answers from real people.” [...]
Jun 15, 2009
If you are pregnant and eager to find out if your baby is male, female or Boy George, you may be able to tell as early as 10 weeks after conception, according to makers of an over-the-counter gender prediction test.
IntelliGender, creator of the “Boy or Girl Gender Prediction Test,” says scientists isolated certain hormones that [...]
Jun 1, 2009
Thinking of indulging in a late-night brownie, you naughty baby mamas? Well, think again! An Institute of Medicine (IOM) committee of doctors, nutrition experts, and public health researchers has issued “new” guidelines on how much weight to gain during pregnancy. And, frankly, they are pretty much exactly what my doctor recommended — i.e., not much [...]
Jun 1, 2009
I once thought the obnoxious thing to emerge from the ’80s, aside from Michael Bolton, was the “BABY ON BOARD!” sign. Every new mom seemed to have one suctioned to the back of her station wagon back then — and, of course, other drivers would spot the advisory and slow down to five miles per [...]
