Pop Culture
Let the “Married with Children” Puns Ensue…
Jul 21, 2010 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: Celebrity Baby Boom, christina applegate
… Because Christina Applegate is pregnant. Her fiance, Dutch bass player Martyn Lenoble, is the lucky daddy-to-be.
Some welcome good news, I’m sure, after Martyn, 41, helped 38-year-old Christina recover from a double mastectomy — yikes — and the less life-altering-yet-nonetheless-tragic cancellation of her fun show Samantha Who? (even Mr. Candy was a closet fan) last year.
Congrats, you crazy kids! And if that music career should ever fizzle, Martyn, you could always pursue an acting career playing the bad-ass European spy opposite Angelina Jolie in her next action flick. You’ve got The Look, man.
Toddlers & Tiaras Recap: “I’m Gonna Keep Those Girls Away from My Crown with My Sword!”
Jul 8, 2010 | Filed Under: Pop Culture,Television | Tags: Toddlers & Tiaras
Southern Celebrity North Carolina Pageant
:01 – Proud mama, April, tells us she has “passed [her] pageant torch” to three-year-old daughter Aniston. “Show me how you shake your hiney,” instructs Aniston’s mom. “I will do it REAL hard,” promises little Aniston.
:02 – April, 6, reveals she is “a tomboy and a beauty queen.” Just like Zac Efron! April wants to do pageants until she’s 21. At which point it’s all downhill.
:04 — We meet Teeghan, 3, whose mom used to compete in pageants with Eva Longoria. Oooohhh. Aaahhh. Her mom will also cut a bitch who dares to beat her daughter. A sampling of her “pep talk”:
MOM: “There are going to be other little girls at that pageant trying to take your crown.”
TEEGHAN: “No way, Jose!”
MOM: “What are you going to do?
TEEGHAN: “Just take it away from them!”
MOM: “That’s right.”
Also not afraid to boil another child's rabbit, if necessary
Guess the Celebrity Baby Photo: Sixth Edition
Jun 30, 2010 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: Celebrity Baby Photos
Before the red carpet premieres and trips to sex addiction rehab, celebrities were just babies in need of a diaper change. (Okay, so that hasn’t changed for some of them.) See if you can guess the famous faces behind these baby/kid photos…
Click on the pictures for the answers:
Lindsay Commits “Crimes Against Shoe-manity” & Jason Bateman Apologizes for iPhone-gate
Jun 30, 2010 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture
- The only thing more cringe-worthy than Lindsay Lohan allegedly scamming an L.A. boutique is TMZ’s insistence on using horrific puns. Although the 17,060.83-dollar-bill is a classy touch. [TMZ]
- Josie Duggar finally comes home, utters her first words: “Holy crap, who ARE all these people?!” [CBS]
- Sandra Bullock and Jesse James continue to co-parent Jesse’s kids after their relatively civilized divorce. How unusually… mature of them. [People]
- Wonder Woman finally dons pants. Fanboys around the world weep. [NYT]
- Eclipse breaks midnight B.O. records. Team Edward, Team Jacob, it doesn’t matter. The real winner here is Team Money-Money-Mon-ay! [Variety]
- Investigative reporting at its best: Us Weekly gets to the bottom of Jason Bateman iPhone-gate! [Us Weekly]
- A great synopsis of Larry King‘s career. Key quote: “…the role Larry was born to play was the guy on TV who always asked the least interesting questions of all.” [LA Times]
Quote of the Day: Gisele Bündchen
Jun 27, 2010 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: Celebrities Are Wise, Gisele Bundchen
“Give it about five minutes, and bang.”
– Gisele Bündchen on her SIX-MONTH-OLD son, Benjamin, being potty-trained and doing his business on the toilet immediately after breast-feeding every morning and afternoon (which she is pushing because “diapers pollute the environment”). This, from the woman who also boasts that she gained only a minimal amount of pregnancy weight, had a pain-free natural childbirth and has a baby who “never” cries.
Toddlers & Tiaras recap: “We like this life. I don’t want a normal life. This is the life that I love.”
Jun 25, 2010 | Filed Under: Pop Culture | Tags: Live Blogging, Toddlers & Tiaras
:01 – Welcome to Jonesboro, Arkansas, home of America’s Best Pageant. We open with the pageant director, who tells us this is a “low-glitz” pageant where “five-year-olds should look like five-year-olds…”
Looks like someone didn’t get the memo.
:01 – Speaking of whom… Meet Jasmine, 5, who informs us she is a “glitz girl.” You don’t say.
:03 – Lauren, 7, has her own “glitz entourage.” Something she and Elton John have in common. “If I don’t win a crown, it makes me sad,” says Lauren. Awww. But surely her parents will tell her there is more to life than winning…
:03 – “My 7-year-old little girl Lauren is big crown-bound and we’re gonna rock it out,” exclaims Lauren’s mom. Well, so much for that.
:05 – Taleah, 3, is a “rising star in the pageant world,” according to her mother. She admits the family would probably live in a bigger home if pageants didn’t cost so much. In less than a year, she has invested at least $15,000. But, hey, toddler pageants are a higher priority than shelter! Taleah’s mom grows starry-eyed: It’s “like this is her destiny.” I think it’s fair to say Gandhi is to freedom what Taleah is to sequins.
:05 – Jasmine models her new pageant costume:
See? Pageants even teach history to the little ones! Here, Jasmine is honoring Native Americans: The Village People Years.
The Mom and Pop Culture Report: Gosselin Kids Rake in the Dough; Harrison and Calista Get Hitched
Jun 16, 2010 | Filed Under: Pop Culture | Tags: Mom and Pop Culture Report
Your at-a-glance roundup of pop culture news. Because mamas need to know the status of Gwyneth Paltrow’s weight, too! [CURRENT STATUS: "It sometimes goes up a little." Fascinating! Don't leave us hanging like that. Tell us more!]
Gosselin kids earn more than Jon on Plus Eight. Hopefully, that money is being put away… for their future therapy bills. [PopEater]
Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart get married after eight years of dating. Geesh! What’s the rush, guys? [TMZ]
Megan Fox is engaged to David Silver once again. In response, their families said, “Nice try, guys, but we’re not getting you ANY MORE ENGAGEMENT GIFTS.” [Us]
Chris Klein busted for DUI, blowing almost three times the legal limit. Wow. Police plan to book him when he wakes up next year. [TMZ]
Porn star Devon James claims Tiger Woods is father of her 9-year-old child. Warning: Article contains dangerously bad “Tiger cub” pun. [NY Daily News]
Elton John “a little surprised” by invite to perform at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding. Because Rush seems like more of a Hip-Hop kind of guy. [People]
Miley Cyrus on Perez Hilton posting pantyless pic: “That’s like, some idiot being an idiot — that’s not me, you know what I’m saying?” Um, like, no, not really. [Billboard]
Extreme Makeover: Poodle Edition
Jun 15, 2010 | Filed Under: Television | Tags: Animal Acts, Just Wrong
If you’ve ever wondered what happens when topiary gardeners go rogue, check out TLC’s new show, Extreme Poodles.
The show, which is basically the canine equivalent of Toddlers & Tiaras, proves why some dogs should get their owners spayed or neutered. At the very least, I urge these poodles to lobby Congress for stricter shear control laws.
