Pop Culture

Let the “Married with Children” Puns Ensue…

Jul 21, 2010 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: ,

… Because Christina Applegate is pregnant.  Her fiance, Dutch bass player Martyn Lenoble, is the lucky daddy-to-be.

Some welcome good news, I’m sure, after Martyn, 41, helped 38-year-old Christina recover from a double mastectomy — yikes — and the less life-altering-yet-nonetheless-tragic cancellation of her fun show Samantha Who? (even Mr. Candy was a closet fan) last year.

Congrats, you crazy kids!  And if that music career should ever fizzle, Martyn, you could always pursue an acting career playing the bad-ass European spy opposite Angelina Jolie in her next action flick.  You’ve got The Look, man.




Toddlers & Tiaras Recap: “I’m Gonna Keep Those Girls Away from My Crown with My Sword!”

Jul 8, 2010 | Filed Under: Pop Culture,Television | Tags:

Southern Celebrity North Carolina Pageant

:01 – Proud mama, April, tells us she has “passed [her] pageant torch” to three-year-old daughter Aniston.  “Show me how you shake your hiney,” instructs Aniston’s mom.  “I will do it REAL hard,” promises little Aniston.

:02 – April, 6, reveals she is “a tomboy and a beauty queen.”  Just like Zac Efron!  April wants to do pageants until she’s 21.  At which point it’s all downhill.

:04 — We meet Teeghan, 3, whose mom used to compete in pageants with Eva Longoria.  Oooohhh.  Aaahhh.   Her mom will also cut a bitch who dares to beat her daughter.  A sampling of her “pep talk”:

MOM:  “There are going to be other little girls at that pageant trying to take your crown.”
TEEGHAN:  “No way, Jose!”
MOM:  “What are you going to do?
TEEGHAN:  “Just take it away from them!”
MOM:  “That’s right.”

Also not afraid to boil another child's rabbit, if necessary

Continue Reading »




Guess the Celebrity Baby Photo: Sixth Edition

Jun 30, 2010 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags:

Before the red carpet premieres and trips to sex addiction rehab, celebrities were just babies in need of a diaper change.  (Okay, so that hasn’t changed for some of them.)  See if you can guess the famous faces behind these baby/kid photos…

Click on the pictures for the answers:




Lindsay Commits “Crimes Against Shoe-manity” & Jason Bateman Apologizes for iPhone-gate

Jun 30, 2010 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture

*GONG*

  • The only thing more cringe-worthy than Lindsay Lohan allegedly scamming an L.A. boutique is TMZ’s insistence on using horrific puns.  Although the 17,060.83-dollar-bill is a classy touch.  [TMZ]
  • Josie Duggar finally comes home, utters her first words:  “Holy crap, who ARE all these people?!”  [CBS]
  • Sandra Bullock and Jesse James continue to co-parent Jesse’s kids after their relatively civilized divorce.  How unusually… mature of them.  [People]
  • Wonder Woman finally dons pants.  Fanboys around the world weep.  [NYT]
  • Eclipse breaks midnight B.O. records.  Team Edward, Team Jacob, it doesn’t matter.  The real winner here is Team Money-Money-Mon-ay! [Variety]
  • Investigative reporting at its best:  Us Weekly gets to the bottom of Jason Bateman iPhone-gate!  [Us Weekly]
  • A great synopsis of Larry King‘s career.  Key quote:  “…the role Larry was born to play was the guy on TV who always asked the least interesting questions of all.”  [LA Times]



Quote of the Day: Gisele Bündchen

Jun 27, 2010 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: ,

“Give it about five minutes, and bang.”

Gisele Bündchen on her SIX-MONTH-OLD son, Benjamin, being potty-trained and doing his business on the toilet immediately after breast-feeding every morning and afternoon (which she is pushing because “diapers pollute the environment”).  This, from the woman who also boasts that she gained only a minimal amount of pregnancy weight, had a pain-free natural childbirth and has a baby who “never” cries.




Toddlers & Tiaras recap: “We like this life. I don’t want a normal life. This is the life that I love.”

Jun 25, 2010 | Filed Under: Pop Culture | Tags: ,

:01 – Welcome to Jonesboro, Arkansas, home of America’s Best Pageant.  We open with the pageant director, who tells us this is a “low-glitz” pageant where “five-year-olds should look like five-year-olds…”

Looks like someone didn’t get the memo.

:01 – Speaking of whom… Meet Jasmine, 5, who informs us she is a “glitz girl.”  You don’t say.

:03 – Lauren, 7, has her own “glitz entourage.”  Something she and Elton John have in common.  “If I don’t win a crown, it makes me sad,” says Lauren.  Awww.  But surely her parents will tell her there is more to life than winning…

:03 – “My 7-year-old little girl Lauren is big crown-bound and we’re gonna rock it out,” exclaims Lauren’s mom.  Well, so much for that.

:05 – Taleah, 3, is a “rising star in the pageant world,” according to her mother.  She admits the family would probably live in a bigger home if pageants didn’t cost so much.  In less than a year, she has invested at least $15,000.  But, hey, toddler pageants are a higher priority than shelter!  Taleah’s mom grows starry-eyed:  It’s “like this is her destiny.”   I think it’s fair to say Gandhi is to freedom what Taleah is to sequins.

:05 – Jasmine models her new pageant costume:

See?  Pageants even teach history to the little ones!  Here, Jasmine is honoring Native Americans:  The Village People Years.

Continue Reading »




The Mom and Pop Culture Report: Gosselin Kids Rake in the Dough; Harrison and Calista Get Hitched

Jun 16, 2010 | Filed Under: Pop Culture | Tags:

Your at-a-glance roundup of pop culture news. Because mamas need to know the status of Gwyneth Paltrow’s weight, too! [CURRENT STATUS:  "It sometimes goes up a little."  Fascinating!  Don't leave us hanging like that.  Tell us more!]

Gosselin kids earn more than Jon on Plus Eight.  Hopefully, that money is being put away… for their future therapy bills.  [PopEater]

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart get married after eight years of dating.  Geesh!  What’s the rush, guys?  [TMZ]

Megan Fox is engaged to David Silver once again.  In response, their families said, “Nice try, guys, but we’re not getting you ANY MORE ENGAGEMENT GIFTS.”  [Us]

Chris Klein busted for DUI, blowing almost three times the legal limit.  Wow.  Police plan to book him when he wakes up next year.  [TMZ]

Porn star Devon James claims Tiger Woods is father of her 9-year-old child.  Warning:  Article contains dangerously bad “Tiger cub” pun.  [NY Daily News]

Elton John “a little surprised” by invite to perform at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding.  Because Rush seems like more of a Hip-Hop kind of guy.  [People]

Miley Cyrus on Perez Hilton posting pantyless pic:   “That’s like, some idiot being an idiot — that’s not me, you know what I’m saying?”  Um, like, no, not really.  [Billboard]




Extreme Makeover: Poodle Edition

Jun 15, 2010 | Filed Under: Television | Tags: ,

If you’ve ever wondered what happens when topiary gardeners go rogue, check out TLC’s new show, Extreme Poodles.

The show, which is basically the canine equivalent of Toddlers & Tiaras, proves why some dogs should get their owners spayed or neutered. At the very least, I urge these poodles to lobby Congress for stricter shear control laws.






 

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