Kids

Apr 16, 2009

“Sexting” is the New Love Letter

When my doctor first pointed out my daughter’s hoo-ha on the big screen and declared, “You’re having a girl,” my first thought was:  “Yes!  Baby girl clothes!”   But my second thought…? “Oh crap.  She had BETTER not post naughty pictures of herself on MySpace.” I know, I know… not likely to happen.  But only because MySpace [...]
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Heelarious

Apr 10, 2009

Calling All Future Carrie Bradshaws: Get Your Baby High Heels!

In a fashion development sure to give podiatrists a future boost in business, a line of high-heeled booties for babies has been launched for the six-month-and-under set. You know, just in case you were looking for something to accentuate your little one’s baby bustier. The mini-stilettos are sold online with the tag line:  “Heelarious – her first [...]
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softball

Apr 6, 2009

Eight-Year-Old Girls’ Softball: Wimps Need Not Apply

Mr. Candy and I braved the harsh sunny, 75-degree L.A. weather yesterday to watch my eight-year-old cousin play softball.  Knowing her team was called the sweet-sounding “Rockin’ Raspberries” last year, I had visions of little girls in cotton candy-colored uniforms laughingly lobbing the softball to opposing team members, who would try to swing somewhere within [...]
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Apr 2, 2009

Mother of the Week So Far

Parties sure have changed since I had my 13th birthday party at a bowling alley with  chicken tenders and pitchers of RC Cola… A stellar Mother of the Week contender has been arrested for serving alcohol to young teens at a party in Missouri and, even better, offering a $10 prize to whomever could chug a [...]
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Apr 1, 2009

A Prom Dress Certain to Make Your Daughter the Most Popular Girl at the Dance

My husband claims when the doctor told us last month that we’re having a girl, our daughter’s entire life flashed before his protective eyes:  from kindergarten to her first date, from the prom to her wedding.  I’m guessing that in this vision, however, he did not imagine our teenage daughter would choose a prom dress [...]
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Apr 1, 2009

Youth Soccer Coach Promotes Healthy Competition with “Losing is for Losers” Mantra

A Massachusetts youth soccer coach who dubbed his team of 6- and 7-year-old girls “Green Death,” urging them to eat “undercooked red meat” (ed. note:  mmm-mmm, good) and win at all costs has quit after his preseason manifesto shocked parents and league officials. Green Death?  He should have been fired immediately.  I mean, I think everyone [...]
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Mar 27, 2009

Sure-Fire Embarrassment for You and Your Little One: The Baby Snuggie

As some of you know, Mr. Candy romantically wooed me with a Snuggie for Valentine’s Day this year.  Because nothing says “you’ve never looked more beautiful, my pregnant wife” quite like a cotton sack with sleeves. Thankfully, adults aren’t the only ones who can strut their stuff in this fashionable backwards bathrobe now.  Introducing the “baby [...]
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