In the News

Not to Give Mr. Candy Any Ideas, But…

Jun 7, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Awesomeness

Mr. Candy prepares to meet Skye's future boyfriends

An angry father is accused of using a stun gun on a 23-year-old man who sent his 17-year-old daughter a cell phone picture of his genitals.

As the mother of a daughter, I am horrified… that the father only stunned the perv. C’mon! One can only hope there was also a follow-up plan involving a machete.

William Atwood Sr., 45, was charged with multiple felonies in connection with the case. I can guarantee that if any member of the jury has a daughter, Mr. Atwood will not only be found not guilty, but will also receive a Parental Medal of Awesomeness.

Here’s how it reportedly went down:

Authorities say Atwood lured Justin Moore to his home, ordered him to strip down to his boxer shorts, and tied him up and tased him with a stun gun before turning him over to a sheriff’s deputy. Moore told authorities he sent a photo of his genitals to several friends, including Atwood’s daughter, as a joke. Atwood apparently didn’t think the joke was funny when his daughter told him about the picture in January.

According to court records, Atwood called the Sheriff’s Department saying that Moore sent pornography to a child. Before detectives could investigate the claim, Atwood told deputies that Moore came to his home uninvited. He admitted telling Moore to take off his clothes and says he bound his wrists and ankles with zip ties. Deputies found Moore at Atwood’s home naked, tied up and extremely frightened.

Moore tells a different story. (Of course.) He says that Atwood called him and asked him to come over to discuss the photo. When he arrived, Atwood was holding a shotgun, Moore told officials.

He says Atwood ordered him out of his car and fired a shot. Atwood pulled him off the ground by his feet, injuring his shoulder, according to Moore. Atwood told Moore he had connections with the Pechanga tribe (Ed. note: I LOVE THIS) and was going to have him buried on the reservation, court records say. Moore said he believed that Atwood was going to kill him. A short time later, Atwood pulled out a handgun and a stun gun. He shocked Moore on the shoulder for about 20 seconds and asked him how he liked it, court records say. Moore said he was detained for about an hour before Atwood called the Sheriff’s Department.

I know, I know, I’m thinking the same things: 1) Moore is obviously a very smart dude, voluntarily going over to the dad’s house to “discuss” the photo of his naked frank-and-beans he sent to the dad’s TEENAGE DAUGHTER; and 2) Bruce Willis is totally going to play Atwood in the Lifetime Movie of the Week inspired by this story.

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News Roundup: Bill Cosby’s Jell-O Shots; Grandma’s Birth Control; The “Anti-Mom”

Jun 4, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

"Um, yeah, you might want to put your pants back on, Bill."

Bill Cosby goes on news show to promote open auditions for kids to have their giggle featured in a commercial. Only it seems Bill switched his Jell-O Pudding Pops with Jell-O shots beforehand. [Yahoo!]

Should grandma give birth control advice? “Back in my day, we just jumped up and down after the intercourse! That’s why I only had eight kids!“ [Chicago Tribune]

Can apps make kids smarter? Hmmm… probably not if they’re using the Beer Counter app. [CNET]

The rise of TV’s “Anti-Mom.” *Gulp* Sounds like something for which we need an exorcism. [Hollywood Reporter]

A glowing teething biscuits review. Hopefully this kind melts in their mouth, not in their hand… and forehead… and lap… and hair… [Teeny Manolo]

Pet hero alert: Mighty cat saves woman during Pit Bull attack. Super-kitty cape on its way. [USA Today]

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The Latest Playground Game: Whack-a-Sack

May 31, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Boys Will Be Boys

Here is some news that makes me glad I’m not in school… or a boy: The newest fad in schoolyard “fun”? A quick slap to the testicles.

Back in my day, the boys were all about Hacky Sack. Now they enjoy Whack-a-Sack!

In the game of “sack tapping” or “ball tapping,” as it is called, a boy will try to slap or flick the groin of another boy to inflict discomfort or pain.

However, pediatricians warn that this lovely “game” may not be the smartest idea, with an increasing number of boys going to the doctor with serious damage to the testicles because of a “tap” that hit too hard.

In some cases, trauma sustained by sack tapping can be severe enough to rupture a testicle, an injury that can require surgery or even the amputation of the testicle.

Yeah, um, OUCH.

The fad of sack tapping may be escalating thanks to the numerous videos of it on the Internet.

“It’s a snowball effect. A kid sees it on the Internet. His little brother sees him doing and does it at his school. I see boys in elementary, junior high, and high school coming in with these injuries,” Dr. Scott Wheeler, a pediatric urologist in Minnesota, says.

“Parents need to talk to their kids about this, and hopefully that will have an impact,” Wheeler says.

Communication, schcommunication. Buy your sons a cup, parents!

Dr. Charles Raison, a psychiatry professor at Emory University, also hopes that awareness could help nip this fad in the bud.

“Guys are very attached to their testicles, obviously. If more guys knew that people were having ruptures, perhaps the back and forth of this would die out.”

I would just like to reiterate that key quote: “Guys are very attached to their testicles, obviously.”

Good thing we have a DOCTOR to point that out for us!

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End-of-Week News: A Hungry Husband’s Revenge; Silly Bandz Ban; Alicia Keys’ Pregnancy

May 28, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

A West Virginia man set his house on fire because his wife did not have dinner ready for him. His wife said, “I hope you like burnt rump roast.” [NBC Augusta]
The Cartoon Network is planning a campaign to teach children how to deal with bullies. First, you clobber them on the head with an oversized hammer, throw them off a cliff and then blow them up with dynamite. [Yahoo]
Salma Hayek is blessed with voluminous, perky… hair. [Teeny Manolo]
Waiting to cut the umbilical cord may be better for babies, study shows. Of course, if the parents wait too long to cut the cord… the kid could end up living in their basement when he’s 30. [BusinessWeek]
Schools are banning Silly Bandz bracelets for being too distracting. Well, that’s just ridicu — whoa! Those bracelets are cool. Lemme see! [Time]
Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz confirm pregnancy, engagement. So the baby’s last name could be Beatz-Keys. Awesome. [Billboard]

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Only a Matter of Time Till He’s Demanding Beer Too

May 26, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Just Wrong

Most two-year-olds entertain themselves in harmless ways, such as sticking the cat’s tail in the electrical socket or dumping pancake mix all over the kitchen. But not this Indonesian toddler…! Oh no. Two-year-old Ardi Rizal gets his kicks by smoking up to 40 CIGARETTES A DAY.

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