In the News

Dancing for Two

Aug 6, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

… And the baby’s onesies will be sleeveless, too!  [AFP]

Mark Wahlberg says his penis dedication is no longer funny.  If I had a nickel for every time I heard a man say that… [NY Post]

Pregnant “man” gives birth to third child.  Which is how you know he was once a woman — no man could tolerate that much pain.  [CBS News]

“Sex toys that are already in your bedroom,” including… mouthwash?  Huh.  I thought that was what you were supposed to use after certain bedroom acts.  [Cosmo]

New mom creates amazing photographs of newborn as she sleeps.  Kind of like taking pics of your frat brothers and writing on their foreheads when they pass out after a keg party.  Only slightly cuter.  Slightly.  [Mila's Daydreams]

Why mothers fall behind in the workplace.  Key quote:  “Women do almost as well as men today, as long as they don’t have children.”  Promising!  *Ahem*  [NYT]

Husband of the day so far: Wife discovers hubby’s second marriage on Facebook

Aug 5, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Busted, Love & Marriage

Turns out, Facebook does more than keep you apprised of what your high school friend’s seven-year-old ate for breakfast — it also helps you investigate your lying bigamist of a “husband.”  That is, if you don’t already have the Bigamist Investigation app on your iPhone.

The scoop:  Lynn France suspected her hubby John (with whom she has two children) was cheating, so she tracked Johnny Boy down at a hotel and, lo and behold, she was right.

“He was there with this girlfriend,” Lynn told The Daily Mail.  “I said, ‘Hey, I’m his wife. We’ve got a baby.’ ”

I guess the girlfriend, Amanda, was nonplussed — marriage, schmarriage — because she simply told Lynn that she was engaged to Johnny Boy.  When Lynn’s friend recommended that she check out the woman on Facebook, she did — and found not only photos of the woman’s bridal shower, but also a Disney World WEDDING at which Amanda had dressed up like Sleeping Beauty and John as Prince Charming.

He’s Prince Charming, all right.

After discovering the photos, Lynn began divorce proceedings.  I can’t imagine why!   John France doesn’t deny he married Amanda, but says he’s no bigamist because his first marriage to Lynn has since been declared invalid due to a clerical error.

Well, THAT clears it all up.

“Honey, I Shrunk the Wedding Guests!”

Jul 30, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

… Starring The Supersized Mullet.  [AFP]

Americal Idol shake-up:  Kara DioGuardi is fired; Ellen bolts; and Jennifer Lopez joins as a judge.  Phew!   I was wondering how J.Lo would make ends meet.  [Deadline]

A mom’s hugs can produce less stressed offspring, even into adulthood.  They can also produce embarrassed offspring if done in front of their friends at high school.  (Not that I’ll ever do that to MY child.  *Ahem*)  [CNN]

The worst fall fashion trends.  When one invokes the style spirit of Barbara Bush, you know it’s bad, indeed.  [Refinery29]

Mothers shouldn’t put babies at risk with home birth, study says.  Well, I know I’m glad I delivered in the hospital because it had my medical essentials:  doctors; drugs; and, most critically, a Starbucks.  [LA Times]

Lilly Pulitzer designer animal crackers.  For the style-conscious toddler tummy that deserves so much more than generic-looking snacks.  [Babble]

Bryce Dallas Howard opens up about postpartum depression and how she “pretended perfection” after her son’s birth.  Yeah, I think we all pretend that at some point or another.  [People]

This Pug must kill at karaoke night

Jul 23, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

• Proof that there is high-quality entertainment on YouTube.  [Pug]
• 25 ridiculous parenting products. (I am TOTALLY getting the sonogram cufflinks for Mr. Candy.  The perfect touch of class for a partner at a management consulting firm!) [Parenting.com]
• As the World Turns replaced by mommy chat show featuring Julie Chen, Sara Gilbert, Sharon Osbourne, Holly Robinson Peete, Leah Remini and Marissa Jaret Winokur.  Woo-hoo!  It’s about TIME we see more of Sharon Osbourne.  And morning chat shows.  *Ahem*  [NYT]
• Kim Kardashian calls nephew Mason “best birth control ever.”  Same could be said of all the Kardashian offspring. [People]
• When parents disagree — on everything.  That sounds promising.  [MotherLode]
• Some caffeine okay during pregnancy, new study shows.  Yeah, tell that to the Starbucks barista who gave me the STINK EYE when my huge belly and I ordered a tall latte last summer.  Hmpf.  [Reuters]

Only a Matter of Time Till They Recommend This for New Mothers

Jul 21, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Moo

‘Cow Wash’ Massages Increase Milk Production, Says Farm Supplier

(On the bright side, at least this would help new moms get a shower.  Sort of.)

Continue Reading »

Double the Uterus, Double the Diapers

Jul 16, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

Woman with double uterus pregnant with two babies conceived at different times.  Now I feel lame with my boring, single uterus.  Slacker reproductive system!  [eMH]

A discussion about something we all love:  Unsolicited parenting advice from strangers.  [Motherlode]

Michelle Duggar wins “Mother of the Year” award from Ladies Against Feminism, a group that believes women should not have the right to vote.  Wait — does that also include voting for Dancing with the Stars?!  Yes?  Okay, NOW I’m mad!  [Feministing]

Forever 21′s new maternity line stirs controversy by launching in states with high teen pregnancy.  And low condom sales.  [Forever21]

Bethenny Frankel says new baby was like “bringing home an animal from the wild.”  Which she should be familiar with, having worked with Kelly Bensimon. [People]

Vince Vaughn is going to be a daddy.  In commenting about the news, Vaughn said, [INSERT FAST-TALKING, MISGUIDED-BUT-WELL-MEANING MAN-BOY RESPONSE HERE]. [LATimes]

The case of missing 7-year-old boy Kyron Horman becomes even more bizarre than the soap opera storylines I used to write.  [CBS News]

The G-Word

Jul 14, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News,Parenting News

The S-H-I-T (sorry, I’m a mom now; I have to spell it out) recently hit the fan when Sun-Times columnist Mary Mitchell coined the phrase “ghetto parenting” to describe:

• Cursing around, and at, a child.
• Brawling with your man or your woman in front of your child.
• Letting your child roam the streets until somebody else’s mother has to tell the child to go home. (But I thought “free-range parenting” was all the rage…?)
• Putting your child off on friends and relatives because you want to hang out in the street.
• Getting so hooked on substances that the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services has to remove your children and place them with strangers.

I would argue that cursing and brawling in front of children are hardly unique to the “ghetto,” but her column — inspired by the tragic fate of victims of such parenting –  is a provocative one, as evidenced by the, oh, three gazillion responses to it.

In my West Hollywood neighborhood, I am more privy to another kind of lousy, albeit significantly less abusive, kind of parenting.  An approach I like to call “You’re So Smart!” Parenting.  That is, parents who allow their toddler to sit on the Starbucks counter — dirty sneakers next to my latte — and fling a pile of straws and cup sleeves on the floor WITHOUT EVEN TRYING TO PICK THEM UP, and then reward their child for this behavior by gushing, “You’re so smart!”*  Smart?  Say wha –?!

*At least that’s my fuzzy recollection of it.  I will admit that, after I saw the rubber soles resting perilously close to my drink, my world went black.

Lending a Hulking Hand to Parents

Jul 12, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

• If Barney doesn’t give your baby nightmares, these enormous, body-less hands — aka the “Zaky” infant pillow — groping him should do the trick!  [Doula Shop]
• Great weekend for the white Jordan almond business, apparently: Carrie Underwood gets married.  [People]  As do Emily Blunt and John Krasinski [Us Weekly]  And Martin Lawrence.  [People]
• Why parents should wean babies from the bottle when they turn nine months old.  Somewhere Suri is asking incredulously, “So you mean I shouldn’t be using the bottle at four years of age?!  [CNN]
• Mom gives birth to twins weighing nearly 20 pounds combined.   Holy cow — she was carrying the equivalent of an Olsen Twin!  [AOL Health]
• Strange moments in celebrity parenting.   A phenomenon as rare as catfights on reality television.  [ABC News]
• Check out Gucci’s new children’s line.   Because, really, what could be a better investment than a $200 tee your kid will outgrow next week?  [Teeny Manolo]