In the News
The Wife Should Have Just Used Bounty: The Spider Picker-Upper
Sep 1, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Headline of the Day
HEADLINE OF THE DAY: A husband who tried to ‘save’ his wife from a scary spider ended up needing treatment for burns after nearly blowing up his bathroom.
This Toy Must Kill at Show and Tell
Aug 27, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Laugh Links, Weekly News Roundup
A protest over Dexter serial killer doll being sold at Toys “R” Us. Just be sure your kids learn an important life lesson from it: yes, killing is wrong, but at least Dexter always cleans up after himself! [ABC Affiliate]
More children being held back by parents and entering kindergarten at age six, so that they’re stronger and more advanced than peers. Also, more legal drinking time in college. Woo-hoo! [NYT]
It’s a boy for the Travoltas. Let the downpour of blue-colored gifts begin… [People]
Los Angeles unveils costliest school in the nation, with $100 million-plus campuses boasting “architectural panache and deluxe amenities.” How idiotic! How wasteful! How… do I get my kid enrolled there? [MSNBC]
A satisfying solution to having to do laundry. That doesn’t require simply buying new clothes. [Teeny Manolo]
Latino sextuplets to star in TLC’s new series, Sextuplets Take New York. Which SHOULD have been called Sextuplets and the City. [New York Magazine]
The Real Dancer/Housewives of Martin County
Aug 26, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Headline of the Day
‘Dancer/housewife’ busted after deputies see bag fall from ‘genital area’
Father Punishes Daughter by Forcing Her to Spend Time with Neighbors’ Kids
Aug 23, 2010 | Filed Under: Teens,Weird But True | Tags: Precious Youth
When 16-year-old Texan, Kirstin Rausch, got in trouble for throwing a late-night party (while her parents were upstairs sleeping… wise idea!), her parents came up with an unusual punishment: 30 hours of free babysitting, complete with an advertisement in the local newspaper:
Want a free babysitter for a night out? Under Kirstin’s picture, it said: I’m in BIG trouble for missing my curfew, and my parents are making me provide 30 hours of free babysitting as punishment. My pain is your gain, so call.
Because, you know, who WOULDNT want a resentful, party-throwing teenager watching their precious bundles of joy!
If Skye ever pulls this kind of shenanigan*, I’m going to punish her with a frightening deterrent. Like forcing her to watch the home movies of me playing with the Harrisburg Youth Symphony on repeat. Or sampling my bi-annual attempt at cooking.
*Just WRITING that word added twenty years to my life
Perfect for the Formal Dining Room: Placenta Prints
Aug 23, 2010 | Filed Under: Weird But True | Tags: Interior Design
For those new mothers who prefer to admire their afterbirth on the wall, rather than devour it in a panini or cuddle with it in a teddy bear:
The sales pitch: “I make your prints before I wash and prepare the placenta. They are printed with the natural placenta blood on acid-free artists paper. . . For an additional fee of $5, I can also make large placenta prints that are suitable for framing.”
Oh dear. Despite the compelling offer, there is no WAY could I allow that into my house — I mean, it would totally clash with my dried umbilical cord drapery rings.
Etiquette Lesson: Why You Should Always Tip the Midwife
Aug 21, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News,Weird But True | Tags: Ouch
[Ed. note: No word on whether everything came out okay in the end.]
This is Why Educators Should Stick to Bashing Their Students in the Teachers’ Lounge
Aug 20, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup
Teacher loses job after describing students as “germ bags” and parents as “snobby” and “arrogant” on Facebook. I’m guessing her Twitter feed can be read at the equally subtle @MyStudentsAreDoucheBags. [ABC News]
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to design kids’ clothing line. Offerings will include a miniature Gothic blood vial necklace. Awwww. Adorable! [E! Online]
Pregnancy tests to become available in vending machines. Because who doesn’t like a pee stick with their afternoon bag of SunChips? [The Frisky]
Miranda Kerr confirms she’s four months pregnant with Orlando Bloom‘s child. The Universe is smiling, “Yes, these people should reproduce together.” [Us Weekly]
Ten iconic animated character dresses. Which shed light on an important fact I’d previously overlooked: Wilma Flintstone is a total MILF. [Teeny Manolo]
Octo-Mom: “I’ve written a book!” Best of all, she’s offering a free kid with each purchase! [Radar]
Mom proudly shows off her 43-pound 10-month-old baby boy. Key quote: “His most favorite thing is to eat.” [Daily Mail]
Parent of the Week So Far
Aug 19, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Parent of the Week So Far
DRUNKEN DAD LETS SON, 12, DO THE DRIVING
Key quote: “He’s driving ’cause I had a little too much to drink. And he needs to learn how to drive sometime.”
