Tag - Whoa
Yes, this woman’s birth story trumps ALL of our stories: A Texas mother had a one-in-70-million kind of Valentine’s Day this year when she gave birth to not one, but TWO, sets of identical twin boys. The four brothers were delivered at 31 weeks to Tressa Montalvo, 36, via Cesarean section at The Woman’s Hospital of Texas in Houston. I know what you’re thinking and, no, they were NOT using any fertility drugs and had just hoped for a little brother or sister for their 2-year-old son.
“We planned the pregnancy – I guess we just succeeded a little too much!” said the mom of FIVE.
And what did the new dad have to say after watching his poor wife give birth to TWO SETS OF TWINS?
“We’re not done yet. I still want a girl.”
To which his wife surely responded along the lines of this:
Well, there go my bragging rights. A Texas mom, who must have heard about my almost ten-pounder and decided to put us to shame, gave birth yesterday to a boy weighing — get this — 16 pounds, one ounce. Or, as they say in the medical community: WHOA.
Doctors say JaMichael Brown is one of the biggest newborns they’ve ever seen, and possibly one of the biggest births in Texas history.
“Everybody was amazed that he was so big,” surprised mama, Janet Johnson, 39, said. “I don’t think too many people have heard of having a 16-pound baby.”
No. Thank goodness. Although that would be a good story to share with teenagers in Sex Ed class.
Johnson, who was expecting a 12-pound baby but nothing close to 16 pounds, has gestational diabetes, which results in bigger newborns for many mothers. I am happy to report the baby was delivered by C-section.
Guinness World Records says the heaviest newborn ever recorded weighed 23 pounds, 12 ounces, born to an Ohio woman in 1879. Or, as they say in the medical community: DOUBLE WHOA.
JaMichael, whose father is 6-foot-7, seems to be healthy, thankfully, and was likely to be transferred from the neonatal intensive care unit into the regular nursery yesterday. Mama Johnson said she hoped to get her son home later this week — and return his newborn clothes that won’t fit.
Not to mention, Mama Johnson said, get her son out of the spotlight finally.
“It’s gotten overwhelming,” Mama Johnson said. “But if I had heard of someone having a 16-pound baby, I would probably want to have heard about it, too.”
On the bright side, JaMichael is big enough to drive himself home! (Hey, Drew and I were subjected to all of the silly jokes, too. What goes around…)
The point at which even your measuring tape sighs, “That’s it. I quit.”
The song I will sing to myself before going to sleep tonight. (Pregnancy: Ain’t it a bitch.)
Ten-year-old Heather is pleased to see that her 25-year-old self has filled out impressively for her Big Day.
The bride’s “something borrowed”: her grandmother’s living room drapes.
ABC’s Wife Swap follows the drama that ensues when mothers switch places in families falling on opposite ends of the spectrum. With this one husband/father seemingly having fallen off the spectrum — and his rocker — COMPLETELY:
“What was it you were saying about a NURSING HOME again…?”
The photographer obviously used a wide-hair lens for this one…
Big newsflash, I know. But dear god. They must have been smoking some serious ganja when they created THIS: