Tag - Weekly News Roundup

End-of-Week News Deliveries

Stylish Mother’s Day gifts for under $50.  Hmmm… putting up with the teenage years entitles her to a LOT more than that.  (Or so my mom told me when I gave her a handmade seashell necklace.)  [Seattle PI]

“Pregnant Angelina Jolie’s Secrets and Lies!”  Which, conveniently, she apparently shared with Star Magazine.  [popbytes]

Dina Lohan defends her parenting skills.  A defense as solid as Jell-O.  [People]

Mother used sex ads on Craigslist to retaliate against daughter’s rival.  *SIGH*  Whatever happened to more innocent days of writing people’s phone numbers on bathroom stalls?  [Fox News]

Tobey Maguire and wife Jennifer Meyer welcome a baby boy.  No word on whether he was able to leap the hospital in a single bound.  [People]

Lance Armstrong says he broke up with Sheryl Crow because she wanted a baby and he did not.  In other news, Lance Armstrong expecting a baby with new girlfriend.  [USA Today]

Study claims teenagers who watch adult TV may have sex earlier.  Meanwhile, the five teenagers who don’t watch adult TV found living under a rock this week.  [Reuters]

Heidi Klum and Seal announce they’re expecting a girl, thereby balancing out the household’s male-female ratio.  How… sickeningly perfect of them.  [Us Weekly]

Happy Mother’s Day to all you sexy mamas out there!

End-of-Week News Deliveries: Delivering Babies via Google; Singing About Smug Pregnant Chicks; Envying Rebecca Romijn

Google and YouTube helps man deliver his wife’s baby.   Next, people will try performing open heart surgery based on helpful Twitter updates.  [BBC]

Christina Aguilera discusses how becoming a mother has changed how she views herself — but, clearly, not how she, uh, “liberally” applies makeup.   [CelebWarship]

A mom discusses how good it feels to call her toddler certain four-letter names once in a while.  And, no, that name is not “dear.”  [Teeny Manolo]

That time in the tabloid news cycle again:  Jennifer Aniston ready to adopt a baby boy!  [popbytes]

Pregnant Women Are Smug,” a catchy song by two ladies who ain’t buying the “beautiful pregnancy glow” thang.  [YouTube]

Cranky neighbors file court papers against 4-year-old, wanting to restrict him to his home and driveway for fear he “might come out with a firearm at any time.”  Archie Bunker approves.  [10News]

How Rebecca Romijn quickly shed 60 lbs. after having the twins with no exercise.  All due to BREASTFEEDING, of course!  Nothing to do with her supermodel genes, I’m sure.  [People]

Proms, dates, graduations canceled because of swine flu.  In happier news, teenage pregnancy rates expected to decline! [CNN]

Don’t forget to enter this week’s “Caption This” contest, complete with prizes.  (Ooohhh, la la.)  [TLS]

End-of-Week News Deliveries

A guide to fighting “constructively” in front of the kids.  Surprisingly, bitch slaps are apparently not considered constructive.  [New York Times]

Britney Spears is pregnant, according to Ryan Secrest… who heard the news from Paula Abdul, who heard it from the voices in her head.  [CelebWarship]

A 44-year-old PTA mom caught having oral sex with 13-year-old boy.  Guess PTA stands for “Pretty Terrible (Sex) Acts” these days. [The News-Times]

Does new mom Tori Spelling need weight rehab?  Here’s my recommended 12-step program:  Eat; eat; eat; eat; eat; eat; eat; eat; eat; eat; eat; eat. [popbytes]

Toymaker Hasbro’s profits fell 47 percent during the first quarter as consumers bought fewer toys, and children forced to play with –*GASP* — last year’s Playstation games.  So, so sad.  [MarketWatch]

Heidi Klum and Seal are hoping for a girl, while Heidi’s womb is hoping for a break.  [Glam Baby Bumps]

How to recycle old sex toys.  That’s right:  Save the environment by going green with your used dildo peen!  [BlackBook]

A woman reveals “why I love my kid more than my husband.”   Somewhere, Freud is saying, “Tell me something I don’t know, lady.”  [The Frisky]

Don’t forget to submit your caption in our first-ever “caption this picture” contest with, yes, PRIZES!  Winner will be announced on Monday.  [TLS]

As I mentioned in yesterday’s column, Mr. Candy and I are currently in Central Pennsylvania — NO, we are not traveling around town in a horse and buggy, thankyouverymuch — for our baby shower tomorrow and return to Los Angeles on Sunday.  More frequent posts to resume on Monday and a new video blog is set to air next week, as well.  Have a great weekend, everyone!

End-of-Week News Deliveries

A very important “female hairiness health warning.”  Hmmm… from what I can see, must be a full moon.  [BBC]

Angelina Jolie pregnant again?  In related news, experts say the Brangelina household is expected to be right behind China in total population.  [popbytes]

Jenna Jameson posts a picture of herself in a bikini one month after giving birth.  Flat stomach and flat chest — just like all other new mothers!  Totally natural.  [CelebWarship]

Sign of the Apocalypse:  Gwen Stefani‘s mother-in-law praises the paparazzi.  [Celebrity Baby Scoop]

Octomom trademarks her name for line of baby clothes.  Free turkey baster with every purchase!  [ABC News]

Nicole Richie auctioning off Harlow’s clothes for a good cause.  Unfortunately, that cause isn’t the Candy Junior Wardrobe Foundation.  [Socialite Life]

A new book, “The Sex-Starved Marriage,” claims one in 20 couples are having sex less than once a month.  Wow, that’s unbelievable!  That often?!  Really?  [Tribune]