This is Why Educators Should Stick to Bashing Their Students in the Teachers’ Lounge

Aug 20, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

Teacher loses job after describing students as “germ bags” and parents as “snobby” and “arrogant” on Facebook.   I’m guessing her Twitter feed can be read at the equally subtle @MyStudentsAreDoucheBags. [ABC News]

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to design kids’ clothing line.  Offerings will include a miniature Gothic blood vial necklace.  Awwww.  Adorable! [E! Online]

Pregnancy tests to become available in vending machines.  Because who doesn’t like a pee stick with their afternoon bag of SunChips? [The Frisky]

Miranda Kerr confirms she’s four months pregnant with Orlando Bloom‘s child.  The Universe is smiling, “Yes, these people should reproduce together.”  [Us Weekly]

Ten iconic animated character dresses.  Which shed light on an important fact I’d previously overlooked:  Wilma Flintstone is a total MILF.  [Teeny Manolo]

Octo-Mom:  “I’ve written a book!”  Best of all, she’s offering a free kid with each purchase!  [Radar]

Mom proudly shows off her 43-pound 10-month-old baby boy.  Key quote:  “His most favorite thing is to eat.”  [Daily Mail]

Parenting in Zero Gravity

Aug 13, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

“Could you straighten that picture while you’re up there?”  [AFP]

• Words that the mother of a daughter does not enjoy writing:  Many girls now begin puberty at age 7, 8.  [BusinessWeek]
• Jennifer Aniston shoots back at Bill O’Reilly over motherhood comments, facetiously calls him Prince Charming.  In response, Bill said, “Jennifer Aniston thinks I’m Prince Charming?  I have three words for her:  How YOU doin’?” [People]
• Do these jeans make my diaper look big?  The new trend of “skinny jeans” for toddlers.  [WSJ]
• Angelina Jolie:  Shiloh “tells me what she wants to wear.”  In other words, suck it, naysayers!  [Us Weekly]
• Safety Board tells FAA that parents should be required to buy separate seats for babies on planes.  A great, safety-conscious idea… that should be immediately implemented after my baby turns two.  [AOL]
• Kelsey Grammer expecting his fifth child — with four different women — with a 29-year-old British flight attendant, whose father is younger than Kelsey.  I’m sure this time it is true love forever!  [Daily Mail]

Dancing for Two

Aug 6, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

… And the baby’s onesies will be sleeveless, too!  [AFP]

Mark Wahlberg says his penis dedication is no longer funny.  If I had a nickel for every time I heard a man say that… [NY Post]

Pregnant “man” gives birth to third child.  Which is how you know he was once a woman — no man could tolerate that much pain.  [CBS News]

“Sex toys that are already in your bedroom,” including… mouthwash?  Huh.  I thought that was what you were supposed to use after certain bedroom acts.  [Cosmo]

New mom creates amazing photographs of newborn as she sleeps.  Kind of like taking pics of your frat brothers and writing on their foreheads when they pass out after a keg party.  Only slightly cuter.  Slightly.  [Mila's Daydreams]

Why mothers fall behind in the workplace.  Key quote:  “Women do almost as well as men today, as long as they don’t have children.”  Promising!  *Ahem*  [NYT]

“Honey, I Shrunk the Wedding Guests!”

Jul 30, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

… Starring The Supersized Mullet.  [AFP]

Americal Idol shake-up:  Kara DioGuardi is fired; Ellen bolts; and Jennifer Lopez joins as a judge.  Phew!   I was wondering how J.Lo would make ends meet.  [Deadline]

A mom’s hugs can produce less stressed offspring, even into adulthood.  They can also produce embarrassed offspring if done in front of their friends at high school.  (Not that I’ll ever do that to MY child.  *Ahem*)  [CNN]

The worst fall fashion trends.  When one invokes the style spirit of Barbara Bush, you know it’s bad, indeed.  [Refinery29]

Mothers shouldn’t put babies at risk with home birth, study says.  Well, I know I’m glad I delivered in the hospital because it had my medical essentials:  doctors; drugs; and, most critically, a Starbucks.  [LA Times]

Lilly Pulitzer designer animal crackers.  For the style-conscious toddler tummy that deserves so much more than generic-looking snacks.  [Babble]

Bryce Dallas Howard opens up about postpartum depression and how she “pretended perfection” after her son’s birth.  Yeah, I think we all pretend that at some point or another.  [People]

This Pug must kill at karaoke night

Jul 23, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

• Proof that there is high-quality entertainment on YouTube.  [Pug]
• 25 ridiculous parenting products. (I am TOTALLY getting the sonogram cufflinks for Mr. Candy.  The perfect touch of class for a partner at a management consulting firm!) [Parenting.com]
• As the World Turns replaced by mommy chat show featuring Julie Chen, Sara Gilbert, Sharon Osbourne, Holly Robinson Peete, Leah Remini and Marissa Jaret Winokur.  Woo-hoo!  It’s about TIME we see more of Sharon Osbourne.  And morning chat shows.  *Ahem*  [NYT]
• Kim Kardashian calls nephew Mason “best birth control ever.”  Same could be said of all the Kardashian offspring. [People]
• When parents disagree — on everything.  That sounds promising.  [MotherLode]
• Some caffeine okay during pregnancy, new study shows.  Yeah, tell that to the Starbucks barista who gave me the STINK EYE when my huge belly and I ordered a tall latte last summer.  Hmpf.  [Reuters]

Double the Uterus, Double the Diapers

Jul 16, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

Woman with double uterus pregnant with two babies conceived at different times.  Now I feel lame with my boring, single uterus.  Slacker reproductive system!  [eMH]

A discussion about something we all love:  Unsolicited parenting advice from strangers.  [Motherlode]

Michelle Duggar wins “Mother of the Year” award from Ladies Against Feminism, a group that believes women should not have the right to vote.  Wait — does that also include voting for Dancing with the Stars?!  Yes?  Okay, NOW I’m mad!  [Feministing]

Forever 21′s new maternity line stirs controversy by launching in states with high teen pregnancy.  And low condom sales.  [Forever21]

Bethenny Frankel says new baby was like “bringing home an animal from the wild.”  Which she should be familiar with, having worked with Kelly Bensimon. [People]

Vince Vaughn is going to be a daddy.  In commenting about the news, Vaughn said, [INSERT FAST-TALKING, MISGUIDED-BUT-WELL-MEANING MAN-BOY RESPONSE HERE]. [LATimes]

The case of missing 7-year-old boy Kyron Horman becomes even more bizarre than the soap opera storylines I used to write.  [CBS News]

Lending a Hulking Hand to Parents

Jul 12, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup

• If Barney doesn’t give your baby nightmares, these enormous, body-less hands — aka the “Zaky” infant pillow — groping him should do the trick!  [Doula Shop]
• Great weekend for the white Jordan almond business, apparently: Carrie Underwood gets married.  [People]  As do Emily Blunt and John Krasinski [Us Weekly]  And Martin Lawrence.  [People]
• Why parents should wean babies from the bottle when they turn nine months old.  Somewhere Suri is asking incredulously, “So you mean I shouldn’t be using the bottle at four years of age?!  [CNN]
• Mom gives birth to twins weighing nearly 20 pounds combined.   Holy cow — she was carrying the equivalent of an Olsen Twin!  [AOL Health]
• Strange moments in celebrity parenting.   A phenomenon as rare as catfights on reality television.  [ABC News]
• Check out Gucci’s new children’s line.   Because, really, what could be a better investment than a $200 tee your kid will outgrow next week?  [Teeny Manolo]