Tag - Weekly News Roundup

A Family’s Runny Mashed Potatoes Emergency and Other Breaking News

ExpensiveCrib

Behold the world’s most expensive crib, costing $19,995.  Best of all, that price tag…?  DOESN’T INCLUDE ASSEMBLY.  [Posh Tots]

Illinois boy calls 911 over dad’s lousy dinner.  “Hi, 911…?  Yeah, so, my macaroni needs more butter.”  [ksdk.com]

Mother of the Day So Far:  Woman put daughter on 700-calorie diet at age two.  [Daily Mail]

New study finds that women’s brains may actually get bigger during new motherhood.  And that space is filled with important things, like Barney tunes and poop schedules!  [Time]

Should parents who skip school conferences face jail time?  No, WORSE — they should have to go back to school.  [ABC News]

Mom donates 26 GALLONS of breast milk.  Wow.  There was a whole lotta pumpin’ going on in that house.  Just not the kind her husband had hoped for.  [Babble]

Surefire Way to Get Blacklisted from Birth Announcement Mailing and Other Helpful News

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  • Sesame Street song encourages black girls to embrace their hair. Heck, I think almost ALL girls could benefit from that message (says the girl who started frying and dying her hair as a teenager).
  • Rachel Zoe‘s brother-in-law confirms her pregnancy to tabloid, ensuring that he will not be on the birth announcement mailing list.  [InTouch]
  • Woman claims she was allergic to being pregnant because she was sick and miserable the entire time.  I don’t call that an allergy — I call that PREGNANCY.  [DailyMail]
  • A boon to working moms: After reviewing 69 studies, researchers say kids whose mothers return to work before the child turns 3 are no more likely to have academic or behavioral problems compared with kids whose mothers stayed at home.  Also, after reviewing 69 studies, researchers say they could REALLY use a drink.  [LA Times]
  • Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats have a baby boy named — wait for it… wait for it… — Egypt Dean.  Bummer.  My money was on Drum Beats. [PFM]
  • Christina Aguilera focusing on being “a great mom” to Max in wake of filing for divorce.   Also, on making sure she retains custody of her clown makeup collection. [People]
  • And the “star” of this week’s children’s product recall is:  Evenflo car seats!  [Parenting]

Adding Grey Goose to Your Baby Registry and Other Important Parenting News of the Week

iPhoneStroller

  • Creative parents fashion stroller into iPhone for Halloween.   Wouldn’t be surprised if the kid’s Graco stroller got better reception than my iPhone.[Flickr]
  • 10 things parents should know about Secretariat.  What I would like to know is:  Does Diane Lane’s hairstyle in the movie get its own credit? [Wired]
  • New study says light drinking during pregnancy is perfectly fine.  So no shame in adding Grey Goose to your baby registry.  (A small bottle, of course.)  [SFC]
  • Life as We Know It is kind of cute, say most reviews.  The movie trailer had me at “Josh Duhamel in his underwear.”  [Variety]
  • Behold the edible uterus and vagina with a nasty case of the sprinkles.  (With thanks to TLS reader, Eize) [My Food Looks Funny]

End-of-Week News: Dawson Becomes a Daddy; Kids Become Traumatized; Maternity Wear Becomes Sporty

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James Van Der Beek and his wife have a baby on my birthday, and didn’t even honor the occasion by naming her Candy.  RUDE.  [CBS News]

Mom makes kids watch home birth.  Well… I suppose that would be the best form of birth control.   [Salon]

Fisher-Price recalls 11 million items for infants, toddlers.   Key quote: Injuries to young children include genital bleeding from tricycle wounds.  Oh, is that it…?  Also:  Yikes.  [MSNBC]

Reebok unveils NFL-themed maternity line.  You know, to celebrate daddy going deep and scoring a touchdown.  (Yeah, that’s right, I went there.)  [Boston.com]

Father of the Week So Far:  Michigan father of 23 kids with 14 women, jailed after owing $500K in child support.  [NY Daily News]

More moms trying to breast-feed babies, study says.  Thus concluding today’s official State of the Breast update.  [LA Times]

Today’s News Brought to You by the Letter ‘C’

Skye-Closeup

For cheerful child, copious cleavage and C-sections…

She hides it well, I know, but I think the little one is enjoying our stay in Maui.

Katy Perry yanked from Sesame Street after parents complain about her cleavage on display.  Meanwhile, Elmo continues to appear on the show completely naked and nobody says a word.  [TMZ]

C-section/tummy tuck two-for-one specials are deemed the new pregnancy trend.  Man, the only “special” the hospital offered me was an extra ice pack.  [The Stir]

Why women seek out partners who looks like their fathers.   I’m sure Freud has a few theories about this.  [NYDN]

Modern Family doesn’t miss a beat in its second season premiere.  Key quote:  “Slow is smooth and smooth is fast!”  [TV Squad]

All pregnant women should get a flu shot, say doctors who don’t want to be inundated with sick pregnant women this winter. [MSNBC]

TLC debuts new show, Sister Wives, about family of polygamists.  Also known as “The Latest Show I Totally Need to Live-Blog.” [Today Show]

No Wonder My Husband is a Fan of Gelato

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Portland-area parents incensed by having their children exposed to this, um, sizable billboard.  What a bunch of boobs.  [Local6.com]

Six-year-old booted from cheerleading squad for this cheer: “Our back’s are breaking, our skirts too tight, we shake our booties from left to right.”  I think we just found a new lyricist for Lil’ Kim.  [CBS]

Octo-Mom going on welfare.  Good to know my California state tax dollars are being used wisely.  [Radar]

Some kids with ADHD may not need anti-psychotic meds.  This study not brought you by the makers of Ritalin.  [US News & World Report]

Should we teach toddlers to curse?  Sounds like a bunch of bullsh*t to me.  [Motherlode]

Magician David Blaine expecting first child with a French model who looks like she could be his child, as well.  Awwww.  [NY Post]

Kids as Speed Bumps: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Fake-Child-Speed-Bump

Speed bumps of the future:  creepy optical illusion children.  This way, you’ll swerve and hit a real child.  Brilliant!  [Discovery]

Will Smith’s daughter Willow signed to Jay-Z’s record label.  Jay-Z cites her talent and the names on her birth certificate as things that sealed the deal.  [Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, this story totally got to me:  Mom’s hug revives baby that was pronounced dead.  (Oh yeah, it’s a tear-jerker.)  [NYDN]

Nothing much works for morning sickness, study finds.  Huh.  I found that melodramatically screaming “I FEEL LIKE I’M GONNA DIE!” at my husband every once in a while made me feel better.  [LA Times]

Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez are gettin’ it on.  Well, yeah.  Who else would hook up with those two dogs?  [People]

Carolina Beach restaurant causes uproar by saying “no” to screaming children.  Which is Chuck E. Cheese’s opportunity to open a place next door.  [MSNBC]

Rock-a-Bye Baby in Yo Phat Crib…

LilKimSleepSack

Because nothing says “precious newborn” like the woman who sings “Queen B*tch Part II.”  [Regretsy]

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia‘s Kaitlin Olson and Rob McElhenney welcome a son, Axel Lee, after going into labor during the Dodgers/Phillies game.  Man, the lengths kids will go to for a Dodger Dog…  [People]

Breast cancer awareness bracelets proclaiming “I [Heart] Boobies” causing a controversy in schools.  “I Heart Balls” necklaces for testicular cancer can’t be far behind.  [ABC News]

Lindsay Lohan allegedly clipped a baby stroller with her Maserati and kept driving.  If she had hit MY baby and kept going…?  I would’ve called the Po-Po faster than you can say, “Lindsay drives a Maserati?  LIFE IS NOT FAIR.”  [The Frisky]

Breast is best… behind closed doors?  [Teeny Manolo]

No link between Pampers Dry Max and diaper rash, says Safety Commission.  “I totally disagree,” my child’s behind proclaimed in response.  [NYDN]

This Toy Must Kill at Show and Tell

DexterDoll

A protest over Dexter serial killer doll being sold at Toys “R” Us.  Just be sure your kids learn an important life lesson from it:  yes, killing is wrong, but at least Dexter always cleans up after himself!  [ABC Affiliate]

More children being held back by parents and entering kindergarten at age six, so that they’re stronger and more advanced than peers.  Also, more legal drinking time in college.  Woo-hoo!  [NYT]

It’s a boy for the Travoltas.  Let the downpour of blue-colored gifts begin… [People]

Los Angeles unveils costliest school in the nation, with $100 million-plus campuses boasting “architectural panache and deluxe amenities.”  How idiotic!  How wasteful!  How… do I get my kid enrolled there?  [MSNBC]

A satisfying solution to having to do laundry.  That doesn’t require simply buying new clothes.  [Teeny Manolo]

Latino sextuplets to star in TLC’s new series, Sextuplets Take New York.  Which SHOULD have been called Sextuplets and the City.  [New York Magazine]

This is Why Educators Should Stick to Bashing Their Students in the Teachers’ Lounge

FacebookTeacher

Teacher loses job after describing students as “germ bags” and parents as “snobby” and “arrogant” on Facebook.   I’m guessing her Twitter feed can be read at the equally subtle @MyStudentsAreDoucheBags. [ABC News]

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to design kids’ clothing line.  Offerings will include a miniature Gothic blood vial necklace.  Awwww.  Adorable! [E! Online]

Pregnancy tests to become available in vending machines.  Because who doesn’t like a pee stick with their afternoon bag of SunChips? [The Frisky]

Miranda Kerr confirms she’s four months pregnant with Orlando Bloom‘s child.  The Universe is smiling, “Yes, these people should reproduce together.”  [Us Weekly]

Ten iconic animated character dresses.  Which shed light on an important fact I’d previously overlooked:  Wilma Flintstone is a total MILF.  [Teeny Manolo]

Octo-Mom:  “I’ve written a book!”  Best of all, she’s offering a free kid with each purchase!  [Radar]

Mom proudly shows off her 43-pound 10-month-old baby boy.  Key quote:  “His most favorite thing is to eat.”  [Daily Mail]

Parenting in Zero Gravity

FlyingBaby

“Could you straighten that picture while you’re up there?”  [AFP]

  • Words that the mother of a daughter does not enjoy writing:  Many girls now begin puberty at age 7, 8.  [BusinessWeek]
  • Jennifer Aniston shoots back at Bill O’Reilly over motherhood comments, facetiously calls him Prince Charming.  In response, Bill said, “Jennifer Aniston thinks I’m Prince Charming?  I have three words for her:  How YOU doin’?” [People]
  • Do these jeans make my diaper look big?  The new trend of “skinny jeans” for toddlers.  [WSJ]
  • Angelina Jolie:  Shiloh “tells me what she wants to wear.”  In other words, suck it, naysayers!  [Us Weekly]
  • Safety Board tells FAA that parents should be required to buy separate seats for babies on planes.  A great, safety-conscious idea… that should be immediately implemented after my baby turns two.  [AOL]
  • Kelsey Grammer expecting his fifth child — with four different women — with a 29-year-old British flight attendant, whose father is younger than Kelsey.  I’m sure this time it is true love forever!  [Daily Mail]

Dancing for Two

PregnantBalletDancer1

… And the baby’s onesies will be sleeveless, too!  [AFP]

Mark Wahlberg says his penis dedication is no longer funny.  If I had a nickel for every time I heard a man say that… [NY Post]

Pregnant “man” gives birth to third child.  Which is how you know he was once a woman — no man could tolerate that much pain.  [CBS News]

Sex toys that are already in your bedroom,” including… mouthwash?  Huh.  I thought that was what you were supposed to use after certain bedroom acts.  [Cosmo]

New mom creates amazing photographs of newborn as she sleeps.  Kind of like taking pics of your frat brothers and writing on their foreheads when they pass out after a keg party.  Only slightly cuter.  Slightly.  [Mila's Daydreams]

Why mothers fall behind in the workplace.  Key quote:  “Women do almost as well as men today, as long as they don’t have children.”  Promising!  *Ahem*  [NYT]