Welcome to another installment of The Laughing Stork’s Toddlers & Tiaras recaps! This week we’re joining contestants on their journey to the Lollipops & Gumdrops Pageant in Texas, where the pageant director helps us, um, get a taste of what’s to come:
“Move over, Pixy Stix,” the director purrs. “Glitz never tasted so good.”
I don’t even want to KNOW how long she worked on coming up with that line.
Crying she can feel the claws of the kitten she was just torturing, er.... playing with
Mackenzie, 6, from Montgomery, Louisiana
The scoop: You just might remember Mackenzie from her last appearance on the show, where she gained instant infamy for her, um, “independent thinking” and affection for her “ni-ni,” with quotes such as,”Where’d My Ni-Ni Goooooo?!,” screamed at a volume level audible to people in Uruguay. Since that most memorable appearance (which also sparked quite a dialogue here), Mackenzie has been on Anderson Cooper’s talk show and in People magazine, as well as spoofed by Ashley Tisdale on Funny or Die. But don’t worry, folks! All of this attention hasn’t gone to the little girl’s head…
“I’m Mackenzie, I’m six, and I’m famous,” Mackenzie boasts matter-of-factly.
Lest you question her fame, the pageant director finishes making love to her lollipop long enough to wax poetic about Mackenzie’s popularity:
“I know Mackenzie has so many fans her name is tweeting on Twitter,” she says. “That’s big time when you can get … whatever that’s called, you know?”
This week’s highlights: Despite her crushing loss at the last pageant, Mackenzie is as cooperative as ever, complaining about her fake eyelashes — “MY EYES ARE SORE!” — and her hair — “FEELS LIKE NEEDLES IN MY HEAD!” and refusing to practice. “I WANT MY NI-NI!” the distressed six-year-old cries for her pacifier. Meanwhile, her mom retains total control of the situation by smiling complacently.