If a dolla’ makes pageant queen Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson holla’, then we’re about to find out what a bunch of TLC cash makes her do…
Yes, this August, the 6-year-old Toddlers & Tiaras star will appear in her own spinoff, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Consisting of six half-hour episodes, the new series will give viewers “an inside look into Alana’s world,” the network says in a statement.
Because that’s just what these pageant moms need: more cash incentive, fame and encouragement.
Honey Boo Boo “proves that she is more than just a Go-Go Juice-drinking beauty queen,” the statement continues. “When she’s not chasing after crowns, Alana’s with her family in rural Georgia doing what her family does best: four-wheeling through mud pits and picking up road kill for the family cookout.”
And if we’re lucky, we’ll get to see some more of her mom’s killer dance moves:
Honey Boo Boo? More like oh, Honey, No No.
If Toddlers & Tiaras is known for anything, it’s the education offered to contestants and viewers. (Seriously, I had no idea what a “flipper” was until I watched this show. My IQ has increased ten-fold!) With its impressive educational bent, it’s no surprise that in last night’s episode featuring the “America’s Genuine Jewel” pageant that there was a “World Wear” competition, in which the girls picked a country to represent with their ensembles and routines. I mean, just behold the historical accuracy of eight-year-old Damitri’ana’s performance representing Africa, for which she “was gonna look like a Real Housewife of Atlanta” and do “flips” and “lots of stuff,” as she believes Africans do.
“It was definitely different,” noted one judge.
Later, Damitri’ana’s mom Quiana defended her daughter’s costume. “It does have feathers,” she said, “and in Africa that’s what they wore if you watch [INSERT AIR QUOTE] ‘History’ [END AIR QUOTE]!”
Hard to argue with a “history” watcher.
Need a Toddlers & Tiaras run-down in a hurry? Candy’s CliffsNotes™ are the fast, free way to get the scoop! Up this week: the Darling Divas pageant in Brooklyn.
This three-year-old contestant is a thrill-seeker, driving a plastic car on-stage and wearing a tear-away skirt for her Lady Gaga routine, as well as going to great lengths to extract a booger buried deep in her nose, which she subsequently wiped on her shirt.
Paisley’s mom, Wendy, represents fearlessness, the parent who is not afraid to push boundaries with prostitute-inspired clothing for her three-year-old. Wendy embraces every morsel of inappropriateness from the beginning of the show, admitting she “loves living vicariously through her three-year-old daughter” and is pleased the Pretty Woman backlash made her child more famous.