Tag - Stylin’

10 Eye-Catching Matching Prom Ensembles

It’s prom season, parents!  If your darling teenager is having problems choosing that special dress, be sure to share these can’t-fail fashion tips for her and her date.  That’s right — what could possibly be cooler than MATCHING PROM OUTFITS?  Nothing, that’s what.  Learn from the style masters:

1.  Despite wearing camouflage, there is no way this couple is going to blend in with the crowd.  Plus, if anyone suggests a post-prom hunting trip, they can hit the ground running!  Excellent forethought.

Because It’s Fun to Laugh at Hipsters: Jimmy Kimmel Tricks Fashion Week Attendees with Fake Designers

As moms, we can often feel out-of-the-loop with the latest trends.  Because when we’re juggling one-million-and-two things, keeping apprised of which color is “the new black” this season and how low or high our waistbands should be kinda fall off the priority list.  (When in doubt, go with a mid-rise.  Actually, always go with a mid-rise. And the “new black”…? Black.)  But don’t worry — even those who are “in the know” ain’t so in the know, after all, as you’ll see in this hilarious segment from Jimmy Kimmel’s “Lie Witness News,” in which New York Fashion Week attendees claim to be familiar with collections from made-up (yet somehow familiar) designers such as Purina Chow (“Asian designers are so unique!”), George Costanza, Ricardo Montalban and Willy Loman.

FUN GAME OF THE DAY:  Find a way to casually work  “It’s called fashion, look it up” into conversation!  Bonus points for really laying on the pretentiousness.

Get the Look for Less: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s $55,000 Pill-Covered Purse

If you have been struggling to decide whether to buy the Olsen twins’ latest limited edition bag, which sells for fifty-five grand and is covered with, uh, prescription pills…

Olsen-Twins-PillPurse

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… Or, you know, use that money toward two family cars or a year of college tuition for your child, then struggle no more.  Because we at The Laughing Stork can help you get that coveted drug-dealer chic look for less!   This is all you will need:

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Why This is the New “Must-Have” Purse for Moms

Karl Lagerfeld debuted this Chanel bag in his Spring 2013 show in Paris today — and, while sites such as Jezebel are deriding it for being, um, slightly ridiculous, I could not disagree more.  In fact, I believe it is the new must-have purse for moms (price tag be damned!) because…

1.  Finally!  A bag big enough to fit all of my kids’ crap.

2.  When my three-year-old runs away from me in a busy parking garage because she thinks it’s funny, as she often does, I can just roll my new purse after her and knock her down like a bowling pin.

3.  Nobody would dare ask me to make cookies for the bake sale while I’m armed with THAT monstrosity.

4.  I can use it to part crowds of rowdy kids at Chuck E. Cheese’s, etc.:  “Excuse me!  Big-ass purse coming through!”

5.  Doubles as the world’s largest teething ring for babies.

6.  I can wield a new threat:  “Don’t make me give you a time-out in Mommy’s purse!”

7.  Well, what else am I going to carry when I wear my see-through Chanel bodysuit to the preschool drop-off?

A Guide to Helping Young Girls Achieve “Dad Hair”

Many dads, my husband included, have a certain je ne sais quoi when it comes to working magic with a brush, a barrette (a “beret,” as Mr. Candy pronounces it) and a ponytail holder.  If your daughter would like to achieve the coveted “Dad Hair” look without the help of Dad, here are some helpful tips:

1.  Why go with the expected and clean two-ponytail look when you can wow the daycare crowd with just one messy ponytail on the side?  Business on the left, party on the right.  Leave long bangs in eyes for added “WOW” effect.

2.  Think outside of the box.  That plastic thingamabob you’ve been saving in the kitchen drawer for no good reason may just make a high-fashion hair accessory!

3.  Don’t be deterred by your daughter’s frightened face upon seeing her new “Dad ‘Do” for the first time.  True genius is not always appreciated at first.  (Think:  van Gogh; Paris Hilton’s film work.)

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Get the Celebrity Mom Look for Less: Alyson Hannigan

Mr. Candy and I are huge fans of How I Met Your Mother (original show title:  How We Stole All of Our Show Ideas Directly from Candy and Mr. Candy’s Life) — and not just because the characters drink a lot.  But mostly because of that.  (Fellow HIMYM fans:  Remember the Pineapple episode?  TOTALLY the original The Hangover.)  I also adore Lily’s, aka Alyson Hannigan’s, style on the show and used to think, Wow, maybe I should become a kindergarten teacher so I can afford clothes like that, too!  Then they cleverly addressed that with the whole credit card debt storyline and — wait, where was I?

Oh yeah.  Alyson Hannigan’s style on and off the show — I dig it.  Here’s a cute and casual look for us moms that she funked-up with a vest.  Also a flattering ensemble for most shapes, whether pregnant (as she is in the picture) or not.  The blouse she’s wearing alone cost more than $200 at Barney’s, but I found some equally cute (or so I think) substitutes to help us get the look for less:

 

Mammary and Vaginal Jewelry That All New Moms Can Enjoy!

Breastfeeding is considered beautiful by many, embodying nourishment and that sacred connection between mother and child.  So what could be more beautiful than celebrating that bond through artistry…

Um.  Hmmmm.  Are those breasts WEEPING?  Let’s see what the designer has to say:

In support of publicly-nursing mamas everywhere, I created this highly-unsubtle charm depicting 2 breasts, full of milk. I added a tiny drop of the “booby juice” to make it extra unmistakable! Nipples may arrive in pink or light brown.  **Now available with double drops of milk!

Of course.  Those aren’t tears — that is BOOBY JUICE!  (Note to self:  Start incorporating “booby juice” into everyday conversation.)

Thankfully, the designer didn’t end her style tribute to the maternal body there.  Oh no!  Behold the Crowning Necklace:

Almost abstract enough to be chic, no?  (Almost.)  As the designer aptly noted, “there is nothing like watching a baby’s head emerging from within his mother’s womb, stretching her healthy perineum. . . labia majora available in light or dark skin tones, baby’s head available in light or dark skin tones.”

Nothing like it indeed!   In fact, I already plan to have Mr. Candy take a picture of this very event — The Baby’s Stretching of the Healthy Perineum, that is — and place it in a locket.  So be on the lookout:  Candy’s Crowning Lockets will be sold in the site’s merchandise section as soon as said healthy perineum is properly stretched!  ($49.99; Candy’s umbilical cord bracelets to be sold separately.)

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The Diva Gene

Fun fact:  All girls born in Los Angeles come out of the womb wearing these sunglasses.  Makes for a slightly uncomfortable delivery, sure, but also very stylish hospital photographs.