As many of you are surely aware, Jersey Shore‘s very own epitome of elegance, Snooki, has confirmed she is indeed pregnant. Which is great news for pregnant women and new moms seeking advice, because who better to impart her maternal wisdom than the woman who has dispensed familial insights such as: “[Vinny]’s like my big brother, I love him… but usually you don’t have sex with your big brother.”
So welcome to Snooki’s new parenting advice column!
I am the proud new mother of a baby boy and, like so many parents, have become increasingly concerned about the state of the world he is inheriting. Could you please share your ideas about how to make the world a better place for our children and our children’s children, such as recycling tips or political campaigns in which to get involved?
Green-Minded Mom in Connecticut
I’m a total politics fan. Like, I don’t go tanning anymore because Obama put a ten percent tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain woulda never put a ten percent tax on tanning because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.
I feel like our kids have a right to know that, ya know?
Being surrounded by all of that plastic in there for nine months, the kid is bound to have some kind of nipple confusion.
No! I kid! Real Housewives of Atlanta “star” Kim Zolciak looked unusually elegant at The Cocktails & Couture For A Cause Party in Athens. Wearing a strapless black lace dress and earrings longer than the state of Delaware, Kim also came with babydaddy and NFL player Kroy Biermann on her arm.
Given the up-the-nose angle of this picture, I am guessing that Ryan Seacrest was the photographer.
Turns out, excessive silicone implantation and long-term acrylic hair usage boosts fertility, because Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak has announced she is — hold on to your wigs, y’all — pregnant.
Yes, Kim, “32,” and 25-year-old boyfriend and Atlanta Falcons defensive end Kroy Biermann are expecting their first child together.
“I was surprised!” Kim, 32, tells Life & Style. “While it wasn’t planned, God clearly has a bigger and better plan for us and we’re excited.”
At first, Kim denied reports that she was pregnant when her ex-lesbian lover leaked the news. (Don’t you just hate when that happens?)
“I was appalled and disgusted by that,” she says. “I wasn’t through my first trimester — you never know what could happen.”
Now, however, Kim is three months pregnant and ready to share the wonderful news for the right amount of money, telling Life & Style: “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”
Kim also has two daughters from a previous marriage, Brielle, 13, and Ariana, 9.
But here’s the news you really have been waiting for: You can FINALLY download Kim’s single, “Google Me,” on iTunes on Nov. 30.
“Google Me”? Awwww. Sounds like an ode to the conception of their child.