I try very, very hard not to judge other parents– unless, that is, they happen to be a celebrity posting ridiculous pictures of themselves on the Internet, in which case I feel like they’re almost asking me to giggle and roll my eyes.
Here’s a photo that Beyonce just posted on her Tumblr page — with B looking after her daughter Blue in satin bustier undergarments and four-inch heels. OF COURSE. Pretty much how I dress for preschool drop-off every day.
Gisele posted this photo on Instagram with the hashtag #multitasking. When she posts a picture of her vacuuming with one hand, talking to preschool on the phone with the other, and holding one kid on one hip while dealing with a tantrum-throwing kid clinging to her ankle… THEN, she can type #multitasking.
Because I’m an equal opportunity fun-maker, here’s a lovely photo of new dad Nick Jonas holding baby Alena — SPONSORED BY DREFT.
Miranda Kerr posted this snapshot of her breastfeeding in red stilettos and a silk robe. Just like ALL moms breastfeed their kids — only, you know, in slippers, sweats and a milk-stained nursing bra. But otherwise EXACTLY the same.
Real Housewives “star” Kim Zolciak poses oh-so-casually for a selfie in her finest French maid-inspired maternity lingerie.
By now, you’ve all likely seen Gisele’s Instagram shot of her “multi-tasking” at work. Not to be outdone by the supermodel, I thought I’d post a photo of ME multi-tasking, as well. As you can see, my day-to-day life is similarly glamorous…
“Some people here [in the U.S.] think they don’t have to breastfeed, and I think ‘Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?’ . . . I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.”
—Model, potty trainer extraordinaire and breastfeeding lawmaker Gisele Bundchen to Harper’s Bazaar
“Give it about five minutes, and bang.”
— Gisele Bündchen on her SIX-MONTH-OLD son, Benjamin, being potty-trained and doing his business on the toilet immediately after breast-feeding every morning and afternoon (which she is pushing because “diapers pollute the environment”). This, from the woman who also boasts that she gained only a minimal amount of pregnancy weight, had a pain-free natural childbirth and has a baby who “never” cries.
Sorry, I’m a sucker for alliterative headlines (you’re just lucky I didn’t work “Brazilian,” “Bundchen” and “Boston” in there, too)…
Contrary to initial reports that Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady’s son was delivered at a Boston-area hospital, Gisele tells a Brazilian magazine that Benjamin Brady actually entered the world under water.
Don’t worry; I’ll spare you any obvious Brady Bunch “jokes” I’m dying to make, and just tell you that Gisele Bündchen and hubby Tom Brady welcomed a baby boy last night.
Seven months? Um… Val Kilmer looks further along than she does.
In news sure to ruin Bridget Moynahan’s day, sources have confirmed that Gisele Bündchen and new hubby, New England Patriots quarterback husband Tom Brady, are indeed expecting a baby and are “ecstatic.” She is due early next year.