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“That’s right, people. We left the dead weight behind. Today is all about ME!”
“Joss Stone WISHES she rocked the bare feet as awesomely as I do!”
“Woo-hoo! Check me out! Suri’s mom would NEVER let her wear pajamas to lunch.”
DELIRIOUS NEW MOM: Cute kid. Wonder who it belongs to? DISAPPOINTED NEW BABY: I traveled all the way down the freakin’ birth canal and all...
“Da-yum. This woman’s got some guns on her!”
“Okay, this time I’m going to get it IN my mouth.”
Due with a girl at the end of July (sounds familiar) “‘Smile?’ Yeah, YOU try smiling, buddy, when your feet are swollen and your bladder...
“Um, Mom? That dog is eating my sock!”
“For an extra fifty bucks, I’ll get them to do the Macarena for you!”
“I know, I know… I’m trying not to stare at the roadkill on Daddy’s head, too.”