“Uh, Mom? Get your nose out of the iced tea and HELP ME HERE! I’ve seen what this guy’s done to the paparazzi.”
Tag - charlize theron
If any of you parents happen to find yourself with an invitation to next year’s MTV Music Awards (and, hey, why wouldn’t you?) and you’re not sure how to dress appropriately for a show targeted toward people who don’t know what a “VCR” is, then here are some style tips based on the handful of parents who attended last night’s event.
WHO: Elizabeth Banks, mother of 1-year-old son Felix
STYLE TIP: Go with a spiderweb-themed outfit because, hey, the kids love watching Spider-Man! And reading Charlotte’s Web! And freaking out their parents with fake spiders!
WHO: Charlize Theron, mother to six-month-old son Jackson
STYLE TIP: You can never go wrong with being drop-dead gorgeous.
Stop staring at me with that adorably perplexed look, Jackson Theron! My son is nearing his one-year birthday, a milestone that has been known to make my ovaries do the salsa in the past, so the last thing I need is you giving me a case of the babies, too. Seriously. And take that preppy baby cardigan off while you’re at it. I mean it; it’s just more cuteness than I can bear.
At least you’re not wearing a baby fedora. That may have just sent me over the edge.
So glad I can dish about the latest celebrity family gossip here because the cats are totally sick of hearing about Jennifer Aniston’s “baby bump.” (Her official bump status this week: “suspicious looking“; seriously, not a week goes by without a mention of her “bump” in the tabloids. Amazing)
The “BREAKING NEWS” in Us Weekly today: Charlize Theron, on whom both Mr. Candy and I have a crush, has adopted a baby boy named Jackson. And just because people seem to want to know these details: Li’l Jackson was born in the U.S. and happens to be black. Most importantly, he is healthy.
Also: Her flexibility will TOTALLY be an asset as a mother. Congrats, Charlize!
Drew Barrymore spotted carrying my best friend during my first trimesters — Saltines — further fueling those pregnancy rumors. Or maybe she just wanted to be prepared if she came across some clam chowder. Either/or.