Tag - Birth Jokes

A Funny List of Pregnancy Jokes

We’ve really labored (see what we did there?) to hunt down the corniest pregnancy jokes for you…

Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers or briefs?
A: You’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all.

Q: What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth control?
A: A misconception.

Q: What is a chastity belt?
A: A labor-saving device.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: Should I have a baby after 40?
A. No, 40 children is way too many already.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Q: Does pregnancy affect a woman’s memory?
A: Most of the ladies I asked don’t remember.

Q: My breasts, rear end & even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A: Yes, your bladder.

Q: Ever since I’ve been pregnant, I haven’t been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A: Depends on what you’re doing with them.

Q: What position should the baby be in during the ninth month of pregnancy?
A: Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder.

Q: What’s the best way to get a man to give up his seat to a pregnant woman?
A: Brute force.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Is there a reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” is a concern for you.

Ba-dum-tish!