Overly Tanned Ralph Lauren Fries Brain in Sun, Fires Size-4 Model for Being “Too Fat
Oct 14, 2009 | Filed Under: Advertising, Pop Culture | Tags: Beauty
As you may remember from an earlier post, Ralph Lauren was under fire for the above-left ad, in which model Filippa Hamilton was airbrushed to resemble a Praying Mantis — for which Ralph Lauren has since apologized, blaming it on “poor imaging.”
Well, their image about to get a whole lot more “poor,” with the 23-year-old Filippa coming forward to reveal that, after eight years of working for them, Ralph Lauren has actually fired the 5’10″, 120-lb. model for BEING TOO FAT.
Are they kidding me? Screw Ralph and that stupid Polo horse he rode in on!
Filippa was fired in April, but decided to go public now because she was appalled to see the altered image that made her look like skin and bones. She said she looked so “dangerously emaciated,” she was compelled to protest.
“Every young woman is going to look at [the photo] and think that it is normal to look like that — it’s not,” Filippa told “Today Show” host Ann Curry.
Unless, of course, you want to use your hip bones to slice deli meats! Then it’s all good. Karl Lagerfeld approves.
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Karl Lagerfeld: You’re All Fat, Chip-Eating Jealous Losers!
Oct 13, 2009 | Filed Under: Pop Culture, Style | Tags: Beauty, Signs You're a Douchebag
If ANYBODY knows real beauty, it’s this good-looking man right here, Karl Lagerfeld. So when he heard that a popular German magazine was banning hanger-like models from its pages in favor of “real women,” the fashion designer took a moment from feasting on small children for breakfast to impart this pearl of beauty wisdom:
Get Ralph Lauren’s Bobblehead Look — Just Add Photoshop!
Oct 8, 2009 | Filed Under: Advertising, Pop Culture | Tags: Beauty, Bobblehead Alert, Women's Issues
Alternatively, you can add no food to your diet. Ever!
Ralph Lauren’s legal team was apparently none too pleased when Boing Boing (via Photoshop Disasters) re-published this disturbing ad, threatening Boing Boing’s site host with a takedown notice. Continue Reading »
Women to Fill Bra Cups with Their Muffin-Tops
Sep 14, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Beauty
Well, here’s a medical advancement I’m surprised is just becoming available: breast enlargements using fat from other parts of the body will become a reality starting next year.
Women Spend Year of Their Lives Deciding What to Wear
Jul 9, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News, Style | Tags: Beauty, We Chicks Are Nuts
In news that comes as no surprise to the woman who just discarded three maternity shirts before deciding on the same one she wears every day, most women will spend nearly a year of their lives deciding what to wear, according to a new survey by British retailer Matalan.
The Hallelujah Report: Doctors Say No Rush to Lose Pregnancy Weight
Jun 30, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News, Pregnancy Humor | Tags: Beauty, Health
On more than one occasion, when I would tell a friend that I was pregnant, s/he would exclaim, “Congratulations!” followed soon thereafter by a supposedly reassuring, “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll lose the weight quickly!”
No pressure or anything.
And it’s no wonder people have such crazy expectations these days, what with Heidi Klum walking the freakin’ Victoria’s Secret catwalk just two months after popping out her second baby and Nicole Kidman looking like she’d never carried more than a Skittle in her flat, tiny belly.
Ode to Natural Mother-Daughter Beauty
May 26, 2009 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Beauty, Plastic Surgery
When I think of natural beauty, I think of a shiny, lonely star against the night sky. The sun’s rays bouncing off the season’s first snowfall. The upturn of Clooney’s mouth as he dreams of me.
And, of course, the most naturally beautiful wonder of all…
This fresh-faced mother and daughter.
The 49-year-old mom has only spent $71,000 on plastic surgery to maintain her natural good looks, and has passed on the gift to her daughter by buying her Botox injections for her 18th birthday to erase the “wrinkles” from her forehead. She plans to instill her daughter with even more self-esteem by giving her a nose job and breast enlargement for her 21st birthday. Under the nurturing hand of her mother and sharp edge of the doctor’s knife, the young lady should be blessed with total facial paralysis by the time she turns 25.
This is the stuff poetic Hallmark cards are made of!
Time to Laugh at Moms Who Don’t Have Washboard Stomachs!
May 14, 2009 | Filed Under: Celebrities, Pop Culture | Tags: Beauty, Julia Roberts, Media
Yay! Good times.
The Daily Mail, which should win the Pulitzer Prize in women-bashing editorial, offers an oh-so-hysterical open letter to Julia Roberts “commending” her for daring to bare her “mummy tummy… with its crepey softness” while vacationing in Hawaii with her family last week.
Yes, this was written by a woman. No, she doesn’t offer up a candid, perhaps even Photoshop-worsened picture of herself running after her kids in a bikini so we can have an equally good laugh at HER “mummy tummy.”
Ha, haaaaa! Nothing funnier than busting on a mother for having a little loose skin from carrying LIFE in her womb. Because that’s what really matters.
I think it’s about time the Daily Fail goes belly up.
