Because when you think of quality family time, you think of judging celebrities’ outfits together. Also, I should note that I did not prompt or in any other way influence my four-year-old daughter’s responses to the photos. Turns out, she is a fashion police NATURAL. (*Sniff* I’ve never been so proud.)
Cate Blanchett in Giorgio Armani
4-YEAR-OLD: Yes. Looks like it has butterflies on it.
MR. CANDY: Pretty dress, but washes her out.
ME: Looks like she had Britney Spears’ Toxic bodysuit made into a ballgown.
If you thought Angelina Jolie had the best Valentine’s Day ever just because she’s with Brad Pitt, well, no offense, but you were completely and utterly WRONG. According to always-totally-trustworthy tabloid sources, Brad presented Angie with BREATH MINTS this Valentine’s Day, romantic guy that he is. “It is sort of a joke — and not,” a source claimed. “He always teases her that she has bad breath.”
Something tells me Brad did NOT get a piece yesterday. Not so much as a peek at Angelina’s Leg.
However, to make Angelina feel better, we thought we would come up with a reassuring list…
Six Valentine’s Day Gifts That May Be Even Worse Than Breath Mints
Because, sometimes, celebrities need some motherly scolding…
Justin and Selena reunite for a night at Beverly Hills Hotel
Selena. You’re totally going to regret this, girl — oh, whatever. You’re kids. This is what kids do — only not usually in the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills. Carry on, you silly, lovesick fools.
We served these at our last family get-together -- surprisingly, there were plenty of leftovers.
When you have a large family, you do what you can to save on groceries — so, sometimes, moms serve up insects for a tasty treat. To wit:
“My boys love to eat crickets. It’s their favorite thing,” Angelina Jolie says in a video shoot for Louis Vuitton’s Core Values campaign, which was shot on location in Cambodia (the country where she adopted Maddox, now 9).
“When I first gave it to them . . . I wanted them not to be turned off by something that was of their culture. They ate them like Doritos, and they wouldn’t stop,” Angelina says of Maddox and Pax, 7. “They brought to-go boxes home and I had to actually ban the cricket eating at a certain point because I was afraid they were going to get sick from too many.”
Not surprisingly, Angelina has also indulged in the Southeast Asian countries delicacies, saying: “They’re good. They’re like a potato chip.”
However, even Laura Croft has her limits, hesitating to try tarantulas on a stick and spider soup. “It does seem like an odd thing to eat,” Angelina admits of the tarantula pop. “I don’t know if I can get around the fur, but you’ve got to try everything.”
Of course, folks gasped EWWWW! GROSS! upon reading this. But c’mon. As a country that counts hot dogs on a stick and KFC’s Double Down — the bacon sandwich where two pieces of fried chicken replace the bread — among our delicacies, we Americans may not be in the best position to judge.
Angelina Jolie with her almost 3-year-old twins Knox and Vivienne outside Eden Superbowl in Malta
Judging from the look on Knox’s face, he just finally got around to reading the reviews for The Tourist.
For more celebrity family and offpsring news, check out The Celebrity Stork, which will be officially launched with a redesign and more frequent updates in the next two weeks!
We were about to note that this may be Angelina’s creepiest co-star yet, but then we remembered she’s worked with Nicolas Cage. Our mistake.
Seriously. I love her. I mean, this girl CARRIES HER OWN SWORD, people! Finally — a friend who could help me crack open a bottle of wine at any given moment.
“Don’t look now, but there’s a serious case of Mom Jeans at four o’clock.”
“I am SO glad Mom’s not pulling a ‘Michael Jackson‘ right now.”
“C’mon, Mom, put a baseball cap on me! That will REALLY throw them into a tizzy!”