Possible names for that style include:
- The Lampshade
- The Mushroom
- The Bump Tent
- The “I Need to Embrace Actual Maternity Clothes STAT”
Possible names for that style include:
Many pregnant celebrities are just as well-known for how they dress their expanding bodies as they are for their bodies of work. And, with so many women struggling with the challenge of how to remain stylish in later pregnancy months, we at The Laughing Stork are delighted to be able to share exclusive style tips from celebs who have dazzled in their maternity wear in the past.
I made a big mistake in buying maternity clothes my first time ’round, that mistake being: I thought I would look reasonably attractive in them. I scooped up dresses, tops and jeans from various Web sites, with visions of me prancing around town looking like a hot mama. (And, yes, in my visions, KT Tunstall’s “Suddenly I See” was playing in the background, as it should be in all dreams — as well as TV shows and movies — about stylishly prancing around the city.) Then… the clothes arrived. I eagerly tried them on. “Suddenly I See” faded into the theme song from Godzilla because I looked anything but cute — and this was before I was really popping out.
You know the empire waist sewn into most all maternity tops and dresses, making it look like your waist falls right below your boobs? Like this…?
Yeah, turns out, when your pre-pregnancy boobs were already ample, you don’t need such a waistline to make it look like you’re sporting Double-Es. Or like you’re nine months pregnant at your baby shower when you’re only SIX MONTHS ALONG.
I mean, just look at my mom. She is so flabbergasted by the size of my chi-chis that she cannot even open her eyes. And shrunk six inches. It’s a damn shame.
Here we are again. By this time, I’d wisely ditched the maternity tops in favor of larger “regular” clothes. Except for pants, of course. No way could I have squeezed that belly into anything not containing elastic. Not without a lot of butter, a David Spade-sized shoehorn and an oxygen mask, at least.
I look practically the same size, right? Sorta? Well, my point is, I gave birth THE NEXT DAY. Nine months pregnant here. Barely six months pregnant above.
The maternity style lesson I bring to this pregnancy: Just say “no” to chi-chi-enhancing empire waists, and say “YUP!” to oversized diva sunglasses that make my bump appear smaller in comparison. Also: Buy Mom a step stool for photo sessions.*
*Don’t worry; she’s used to the ribbing from all three of her kids and her husband. That’s what she gets for reproducing with a man who’s 6’3″.
Finally! A maternity skirt that shows the world what your pregnant stomach looks like, takes an hour to lace up AND trips you with its extra-long string. Read More
If anybody should be familiar with the challenge of trying to be stylish during pregnancy, it’s four-timer Heidi Klum — so it’s no surprise Ms. Heidi has launched two maternity collections: Lavish by Heidi Klum for A Pea in the Pod (a bit more expensive), and Loved by Heidi Klum for Motherhood Maternity (for the budget-conscious mamas-to-be).
The good news: Jean-Paul Gaultier featured a — GASP! — heavily pregnant model on the Spring 2010 catwalk in Paris.
The Laughing Stork is a family/pregnancy/parenting site of sorts — albeit a fairly crass one — so it’s no surprise I’ve started getting inundated with pitches from publicists hoping I’ll endorse their products. I worked in PR several lifetimes ago, so I’m no stranger to this process. Read More
I went to the Express on Friday to return a maxi dress I’d bought online that made me resemble a muumuu-wearing pineapple. I don’t know why I continue to buy clothing off the Internet, especially as my shape changes every day. Perhaps it’s the immediate adrenaline rush of clicking on “purchase now.” Yay! Pretty things on the way! Which, in 10-14 days, turns into: “Boo! I have to return this ugly crap!” Or, even more likely, it’s because I’m six months pregnant and out of my freakin’ mind.
The silver lining: the muumuu debacle got my lazy, growing ass into the actual STORE, where I spied a rack of flowy tops labeled “Party Shirts”:
Granted, the only partying I’m doing these days centers around me and baby rocking out to “Mozart for Mothers-to-Be” on the Bellysonic speaker stereo pouch. But as it turns out, these “party shirts” also make decent maternity wear. Kind of cute, very comfortable. This is a size large, which even allows room to grow. (Surprising, considering many Express shirts are tailor-made for 100-lb. teenagers — and those are the extra-larges.) And, oh yes, we all know there will be more growin’. And growin’. And growin’…
I see they’re available online, but there are more options AND better prices in the store. At $23, I picked up two. Because that’s the kind of big spender I am, baby!
Please note that shopping tips and suggestions are not paid for — just Candy’s general observations and ramblings — unless specified as a Sponsored Listing.