ALERT: If your baby is missing a onesie, this woman likely stole it for the VMAs.
Category - Fashion Police
Because when you think of quality family time, you think of judging celebrities’ outfits together. Also, I should note that I did not prompt or in any other way influence my four-year-old daughter’s responses to the photos. Turns out, she is a fashion police NATURAL. (*Sniff* I’ve never been so proud.)
4-YEAR-OLD: Yes. Looks like it has butterflies on it.
MR. CANDY: Pretty dress, but washes her out.
ME: Looks like she had Britney Spears’ Toxic bodysuit made into a ballgown.
I have to admit, when I watched Miley Cyrus “perform” (read: dry hump) with Robin Thicke at the VMAs, I wasn’t all that shocked or outraged. Then again, I was on vacation just steps from the beach and Mr. Candy and I had already indulged in a few glasses of wine, which admittedly may have softened my attitude. But now that I realize Miley clearly is on a non-stop “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!” bender that crashes through any obstacles — aghast fiances and impressionable fans and pesky clothes, oh my! — in its attention-seeking path, I can’t help but offer a few gentle, motherly reprimands. Especially when it comes to her choice of clothes (or lack thereof). And I’m SURE when Miley reads this (I hear “glean life lessons from parenting sites” is at the top of her daily to-do list), it will make all the difference in the WORLD! *Ahem*
Oh, well. Here goes, anyway. Because she needs to hear something besides “You go, girl!” from her own parents.
Swinging naked on a wrecking ball (or, as I usually call it, “Friday night”):
I mean, if Paris started posing half-naked all the time just to get attention, would YOU — um, never mind.
Also in London:
Not that long ago, I mused that a number of the gowns at the Met Gala were inspired by household products. And I see that trend is still alive and well…
LEFT: Cate Blanchett in Dior at the Blue Jasmine screening at the Deauville Film Festival
RIGHT: Granny’s afghan, which not only comes in handy on cold nights, but also makes a stylish chair cover
Nobody is more honest than kids (except when it comes to admitting guilt about “freshening up” the patio furniture with permanent Magic Marker, that is), so we thought we would launch a fashion police feature asking THEM what they think about celebrities’ wardrobe choices. In this premier post, Laughing Stork founder Candy asks her daughter for her thoughts on Rihanna’s latest typically subtle ensemble…
Funny — we thought the shoes were the LEAST of Rihanna’s problems. But, then again, we are not style experts like these kids are.
Feel free to e-mail photos of celebrities, along with what YOUR kids think of them, to firstname.lastname@example.org!
Now that my daughter is three, she has opinions on pretty much everything — from what she wears to the songs I’m allowed to sing (not many). So I thought I would collect her opinions on something that really matters: what the stars wore to the Oscars. Our conversations went something like this:
Naomi Watts in Armani Prive
ME: Oh, wow. She looks stunning.
THREE-YEAR-OLD: Not good.
ME: What? Why?
THREE-YEAR-OLD: She looks like a robot! (Falls into fit of giggles.)
Poor Kim. When people told her playing Peek-a-Boo is popular among moms, she obviously thought they said Peek-a-BOOB.
Photo via Us Weekly
Mr. Candy, our three-year-old daughter Skye and I share our thoughts about celebrities’ outfits. Because the family that gossips together…watches E! News together? (Awwww.)
SKYE: [NODS HER HEAD]
CANDY: You like it?
SKYE: Yes! FOR ME! I want it!
CANDY: [FAINTS AT THE THOUGHT OF DAUGHTER WEARING A BANDAGE FOR A SHIRT IN PUBLIC]
MR. CANDY: This looks like what people in “Fashion Police Jail” should wear — just attach a ball-and-chain and she could be on the “Fashion Police Chain Gang.”
Mr. Candy, our three-year-old daughter Skye and I share our thoughts about celebrities’ outfits. Because the family that gossips together…stays catty together? (A beautiful saying worthy of a crocheted pillow, I do believe.)
SKYE: Good! Mommy, YOU wear this!
CANDY: Me? Right now, I’m too busy trying to stop myself from making a stupid 9021-OH NO comment (well, so much for that)…
MR. CANDY: Seriously, could Old Navy revoke her endorsement deal if they see this?
My invitation to this year’s Met gala somehow got lost in the mail — No! I lie! The cats and I are convinced Leslie Bibb totally stole it — so instead of providing you with behind-the-scenes juice about Dakota Fanning throwing Skittles down the front of Sofia Vergara’s dress, all I can offer are these pictures of celebrity moms at the event, complete with expert fashion commentary below.
WARNING: Parental discretion is advised, as Beyoncé appeared to have suffered a Mommy Brain moment and forgotten the back of her dress. Whoopsie! (We’ve all been there.)