Moms Hit the Red Carpet at the 2012 Met Ball [OH YES, THERE ARE PHOTOS]

May 7, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities, Fashion Police | Tags: Amy Adams, Beyonce, Gwyneth Paltrow, Heidi Klum, Jessica Alba, Metropolitan Costume Institute Gala, Sarah Jessica Parker

My invitation to this year’s Met gala somehow got lost in the mail — No! I lie! The cats and I are convinced Leslie Bibb totally stole it — so instead of providing you with behind-the-scenes juice about Dakota Fanning throwing Skittles down the front of Sofia Vergara’s dress, all I can offer are these pictures of celebrity moms at the event, complete with expert fashion commentary below.

WARNING: Parental discretion is advised, as Beyoncé appeared to have suffered a Mommy Brain moment and forgotten the back of her dress. Whoopsie! (We’ve all been there.)

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Uh-oh. Looks like they ran out of Muppets willing to sacrifice themselves for Beyonce's get-up.

Gwyneth Paltrow is one mild breeze away from showing us where Apple and Moses came from.

Jessica Alba keeps it classy with a golden goddess Michael Kors number. What, no Muppet roadkill or near-vaginal slips? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT, ALBA?

There's a lot going on in this picture -- Tom! Gisele! Givenchy Haute Couture! Velvet! -- and yet all I can think is: DUDE, WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR HAIR?!

A Sofia Vergara picture with no cleavage? Brace yourselves, folks -- it's a Sign of the Apocalypse!

Elizabeth Banks kindly stuck around in case Geisha services were requested.

Um, Alicia Keys...? I hope it's the fit of the tux -- and not having a child -- that's making your vagina appear to hang to your knees.

Amy Adams shows us how you can creatively use leftover holiday bows!

Debra Messing uses her easy-access dress to score some beads at the event! Sweet.

Cate Blanchett wears a black trumpet-hem Alexander McQueen gown. Bonus for the Met Ball's cleaning crew: her feather duster swept up all dirt in her path!

"I'm wearing Valentino because I love this dress. It reminded me of a different time," said Sarah Jessica Parker. Yes! A time when... "Little House on the Prairie" was on TV.

Heidi Klum wears an Escada mini with a lace overlay and Christian Louboutin heels -- you know, everyday mom attire.

Marion Cotillard, mom of almost one-year-old Marcel, wears Dior Haute Couture and little else.

Amy Poehler has made us laugh so hard that we can't breathe, so it's only fair that she wear a dress in which *she* can't breathe.

Brooke Shields armed herself with a cane because Arnold Schwarzenegger was rumored to show up. "Get your hands off of there, Schwarzenegger!"

Karolina Kurkova, mom of two-year-old Tobin, finds a creative solution for a bad hair day.

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2012 Oscars Fashion Roundup from the Perspective of a Mom

Feb 27, 2012 | Filed Under: Fashion Police, Pop Culture | Tags: Oscars

Becoming a mother has changed my outlook on the world, and the fashion at the Oscars is no exception. In fact, I have some thoughts about tonight’s red carpet looks that I would like to get off my chest. Here is what I would say to some of the attendees if I were their mother (lord help them):

Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz

Jenny! Cover up, young lady! You’re going to give your father a heart attack.

And Cameron…you look like you have to use the potty. Do you need to use the potty? How many times do I have to tell you to use the potty BEFORE we leave the house for the Oscars?

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