Giving New Meaning to ‘Having One in the Oven’: The Fetus Cookie Cutter
Dec 4, 2009 | Filed Under: Satire | Tags: Just Wrong
Adorable fetal bakeware as displayed in Craft magazine:
This Children’s Birthday Cake is NOT Clowning Around
Nov 12, 2009 | Filed Under: Satire | Tags: Hold Me Mommy
Happy Birthday to yooouuu…
Happy Birthday to yooouuu….!
Yahoo! Answers: The World’s Most Reliable Source of Pregnancy and Parenting Information
Nov 11, 2009 | Filed Under: Satire | Tags: Yahoo Answers
As a new mother, I have frequently tapped into THE most reliable source of medical advice in the universe: the World Wide Web. Because everybody knows the Internet only dispenses information that is one-hundred-percent accurate.
This is especially true of Yahoo! Answers, where “you can ask questions on any topic and get answers from real people.” Continue Reading »
Great Moments in Celebrity Scandals: David Letterman Blackmailed Over Office Affairs
Oct 2, 2009 | Filed Under: Celebrities, Pop Culture, Satire | Tags: David Letterman, Sexy Time
Oh, thank goodness — a tabloid-worthy story that doesn’t involve the word “Gosselin.”
David Letterman has revealed that he was the victim of a $2-million extortion attempt related to his sexual relations with “Late Show” staffers.
I wonder if one of Dave’s pick-up lines was, “Wanna see if it floats?”
Expression of the Day: Age Appropriate
Sep 23, 2009 | Filed Under: Satire | Tags: Expression of the Day
Age Appropriate
Function: adjective
1. A term frequently thrown around on E!‘s awards show fashion wrap-ups to describe the dresses worn by Helen Mirren, Sigourney Weaver, Glenn Close, etc.
The Dangers of Parents Using Facebook (Also, Why You Should Vet Your “Friends”)
Sep 10, 2009 | Filed Under: Satire | Tags: Mother of the Week, Promises
I promise my daughter, right here and now, that I will never embarrass her on Facebook like this Penn State mom did with her son.
When Bad Gifts Happen to Cute Babies: Part Two
Aug 26, 2009 | Filed Under: Satire, Style | Tags: Questionable Baby Style
All of us parents and parents-to-be have been there. That moment when a friend or family member generously buys clothing for our little one, clothing so garish even Elton John would gasp, “Oh honey, no.” And the gesture is so heartfelt, all we can do is pray those childhood acting classes are finally paying off and our smile is masking our inner horror.
“How CUTE is that? Thank you!” we squeal three octaves too high.
We have no choice but to torture our child with the outfit at least once, so we can take a picture as evidence that s/he DID wear it, then toss it in the back of the closet along with the Morrissey t-shirts from college we simply cannot bear to part with.
As part of our “When Bad Gifts Happen to Cute Babies” series, here is yet another one of these unfortunate but well-intentioned presents:
As the recipient aptly noted, “… this monstrosity was for saved for special occasions, such as “Mommy Hates Me Day” or “The Festival of Ugly Children: Let us Spit on Them.”
Even the panda is like, “Hey, don’t blame ME!”
Birth Announcements Gone Horribly Wrong
Aug 17, 2009 | Filed Under: Satire | Tags: Birth Announcements
When researching girl birth announcements, it quickly became clear I had three thematic options: pink and white; pink and brown; pink and more pink. So we went with — hold on to your hats here — pink. I’d initially had visions of a, um, less pink and more original birth announcement. You know, something with color! Humor! Personality!
But when you’re running on two hours of sleep and have yellow baby poop in your hair…? A personality-filled birth announcement becomes less of a priority. I just wanted to get those freakin’ things in the mail. Bring on the pink!
In my deliriously exhausted state, however, I wondered: What if if some people were to be completely truthful with their announcements? I’m guessing they might look something like this:
Yeah, maybe pink’s not so bad, after all.
