The Laughing Stork Presents a Heart-Stopping New Game: Frogger — Mom Edition
May 8, 2012 | Filed Under: Games, Satire | Tags: Mom Frogger
Oftentimes when I’m navigating across our living room — and even more so when I’m trying to exit our baby’s room without waking him up — I feel like I’m in a real-life version of the game Frogger, hopping around the myriad toys and books and pieces of furniture in order to avoid the demise of the bottoms of my feet. Or even more heart-stoppingly, to avoid waking up the baby I just finally got to sleep.
How I imagine I look trying to traverse Drew’s nursery in the dark, after putting him asleep again at 11:30 a.m. (and again at 3:30 a.m.):
Of course, even when I manage to sidestep all of the musical toys and other death traps laid out by our two kids, I will oh-so-carefully open the door… only to KICK IT WITH MY FOOT. Loudly. *Sigh*
If Slogans Were Honest About the Parenting Products We Use Every Day
May 7, 2012 | Filed Under: Advertising, Kids' Products, Satire | Tags: baby einstein, BabyBJORN, Huggies, Melissa & Doug
Sometimes, I just wish marketers would be up-front with what we can expect…
Only share this image if you include proper credit and a link to this site. Please and thank you, as my two-year-old would say.
Anatomy of a Mother’s Brain (Early Years)
Apr 26, 2012 | Filed Under: Satire | Tags: Mom Brain
And, yes, a mother’s brain does extend into her nose and throat, so don’t even try to dispute the accuracy of this illustration. IT’S SCIENCE, PEOPLE.
A Guide to Helping Young Girls Achieve “Dad Hair”
Apr 12, 2012 | Filed Under: Satire, Style | Tags: Dad 'Dos, Dad Hair, Stylin'
Many dads, my husband included, have a certain je ne sais quoi when it comes to working magic with a brush, a barrette (a “beret,” as Mr. Candy pronounces it) and a ponytail holder. If your daughter would like to achieve the coveted “Dad Hair” look without the help of Dad, here are some helpful tips:
1. Why go with the expected and clean two-ponytail look when you can wow the daycare crowd with just one messy ponytail on the side? Business on the left, party on the right. Leave long bangs in eyes for added “WOW” effect.
2. Think outside of the box. That plastic thingamabob you’ve been saving in the kitchen drawer for no good reason may just make a high-fashion hair accessory!
3. Don’t be deterred by your daughter’s frightened face upon seeing her new “Dad ‘Do” for the first time. True genius is not always appreciated at first. (Think: van Gogh; Paris Hilton’s film work.)
A Highly Scientific Breakdown of My Daily Parental Responsibilities
Apr 10, 2012 | Filed Under: Satire | Tags: Infographic, Parenting Job Description
For those who might wonder how I allocate my time with my kids:
Flowchart: Should You Bring a Gift to the Kid’s Birthday Party with the Invitation That Said “No Gifts”?
Apr 10, 2012 | Filed Under: Flowcharts | Tags: Kids' Birthday Parties
A dilemma with which we’ve grappled many times…
The Differences Between Parents and Grandparents
Mar 29, 2012 | Filed Under: Satire | Tags: Grandparents
My parents are here visiting from Pennsylvania, much to my children’s delight (yes, mine, too, despite the fact they barely even remember my name whenever the grandkids are around…just call me Mama Cellophane…hmpf) — and their visit may or may not have (*AHEM*) inspired a few of these comparisons in my list of Differences Between Parents and Grandparents.
Kid-on-the-Street Survey: Why Do Toddlers Feel Compelled to Throw Things?
Mar 27, 2012 | Filed Under: Satire, Toddlers | Tags: Kid-on-the-Street Interview, Why Toddlers Throw Things
