DOUBLE THE CUTENESS: Mariah and Nick share a picture from Monroe & Moroccan’s first birthday party in Paris
Matching white outfits — all the better to smear chocolate icing on!
A MOTHER’S SACRIFICE: Pregnant Snooki gives up tanning for her baby
In related news, tanning salons in New Jersey reporting 90% dip in sales.
I think Drew Barrymore is adorable. Her maternity style, however…
LEFT: Expectant mama Drew Barrymore heading to a hair salon in NYC
RIGHT: Mad Hatter heading to work to invent mind-controlling devices and other fun gadgets
MYSTERIOUS FAMILIES: Isabella Cruise says, “I see my mom [Nicole Kidman] sometimes”
With that kind of close relationship, Nicole must be getting something major from her on Mother’s Day. Like a text message.
PREGNANCY ALERT: Anna Faris announces she’s pregnant, shows off “bump” at Dictator premiere
Oh yes, Anna. Consider yourself on official BABY BUMP WATCH! Current status: Size of a Lima Bean.
Stop staring at me with that adorably perplexed look, Jackson Theron! My son is nearing his one-year birthday, a milestone that has been known to make my ovaries do the salsa in the past, so the last thing I need is you giving me a case of the babies, too. Seriously. And take that preppy baby cardigan off while you’re at it. I mean it; it’s just more cuteness than I can bear.
At least you’re not wearing a baby fedora. That may have just sent me over the edge.
More of Baby J…
My invitation to this year’s Met gala somehow got lost in the mail — No! I lie! The cats and I are convinced Leslie Bibb totally stole it — so instead of providing you with behind-the-scenes juice about Dakota Fanning throwing Skittles down the front of Sofia Vergara’s dress, all I can offer are these pictures of celebrity moms at the event, complete with expert fashion commentary below.
WARNING: Parental discretion is advised, as Beyoncé appeared to have suffered a Mommy Brain moment and forgotten the back of her dress. Whoopsie! (We’ve all been there.)
An oh-so-serious roundup of the latest celebrity family news…
CELEBRITY SISTERHOOD: Jenny McCarthy Tweets this picture of herself, writing: “Dear @JessicaSimpson. I think pregnant women look perfect just they way they are!”
Nice gesture. Of course, in Jenny’s book, Belly Laughs, she ruefully writes: “My pregnant ass…was loaded with cottage cheese. …I was demoralized.” But, you know, details, details.
FATHER OF THE WEEK: Matthew Fox arrested for DUI
He never should have left the island.
A picture of Jess back when she was only five years pregnant
To avoid giving birth to a toddler, Jessica Simpson decided to finally have her baby! Yes, the reality star-slash-designer-slash-singer-slash-Chicken of the Sea contents inquisitor and her fiancé Eric Johnson welcomed their daughter, named Maxwell Drew Johnson, today.
“Eric and I are elated to announce the birth of our baby girl, Maxwell Drew Johnson,” she posted on her Web site. “We are grateful for all the love, support and prayers we have received. This has been the greatest experience of our lives!!”
Not only does her daughter share one of her names with my son Drew, but they also share a similarly impressive birth size: Maxwell weighed in at 9 lbs. 13 oz. (Drew was 9 lbs., 12 oz.) and is 21¾ inches long. In case you’re wondering how the heck they came up with the name, well… for the record, it is not sponsored by Maxwell House, although that would have been a stroke of promotional genius because the new parents will likely end up inhaling a ton of it after their upcoming sleepless nights. Maxwell is actually Eric’s middle name, while Drew is Jessica’s mother’s maiden name.
And here my money was on Erica. (Get it? Eric + Jessica = Yeah, okay, you get it.) Guess the cats won this betting pool. AGAIN.
Congrats on your BIG ol’ bundle of joy, guys!
SURPRISE STORK ALERT: Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley adopt second daughter
Which, by my precise calculations, makes Josh…seriously outnumbered.
SISTER, SISTER, BABY, BABY: Tamera Mowry expecting first baby
Great. There goes my ability to tell the twins apart by saying, “The one with the baby.”
STORK ALERT: Giuliana and Bill Rancic announce they’re having a baby (via gestational carrier)
And as one of the viewers who has followed their journey on TV, I may or may not have teared up upon reading this news. At which point, the cats rolled their eyes: “Here she goes again.”
TWO-FOR-ONE PARTY: Drew Barrymore and Will Kopelman have a wedding-slash-baby shower
Registry items included ducky dishware instead of china and baby bottles instead of wine bottles.
TOTS ON THE RED CARPET: Gwen Stefani and 5-year-old Zuma attend the Milk + Bookies Third Annual Story Time Celebration
And I can’t help but think: Milk and BOOKIES? Isn’t Zuma a little young to be gambling?
MOM CONFESSIONS: Madonna says she wants to be a “tougher” mom and dislikes Lourdes’ smoking
Oh, what child hasn’t been caught smoking in the tabloids, really?
FIRST COME SIX KIDS, THEN COMES MARRIAGE: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie confirm that they are, in fact, ENGAGED!
And everyone wants to know: What role will Angelina’s Leg play in the ceremony? Guest Book Attendant? Limb of Honor?
PREGNANCY TALK: Hilary Duff says she “didn’t love” being pregnant
What, hemorrhoids and heartburn and swollen feet didn’t make you swoon? Freak.