The Family Dish: Tori Spelling Forgets Half of Her Bathing Suit & Jamie Lynn Spears Posts Rare Pic with Daughter
May 30, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: Jamie Lynn Spears, Kendra Wilkinson, Sienna Miller, The Dish, Tori Spelling
MATERNI-KINI: Pregnant Tori Spelling looks pretty kick-ass in a, um, demure bathing suit
Poor thing must have pregnancy brain because she forgot half of her suit!
THE OTHER SPEARS SISTER: Jamie Lynn Spears posts rare pictures of herself with 4-year-old daughter Maddie Briann
Four years old? Heck, seems like just yesterday I was gasping, OMIGOD, JAMIE LYNN SPEARS IS PREGNANT?! as if it were the end of the world before forgetting about her.
Munchable Cheeks Alert: Jessica Simpson Debuts Baby Maxwell
May 30, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: Jessica Simpson
Good thing I just had my daily PB&J, otherwise I just might have stalked the Simpson-Johnson household to nibble on those baby cheeks…
Looks like People was the highest bidder for the “EXCLUSIVE!” first photos of Jess and her deliciously chubby one-month-old bundle of joy, Maxwell, with fiancé Eric Johnson. (Is it weird I’m still kind of bummed she and Nick couldn’t make it work? Yeah? You’re right; I need to let that go.) “Life has completely changed,” Jessica, 31, told the People folks. “From how I sleep to what I think about, Maxwell has definitely taken over everything!”
Yup. Get used to that, girlfriend.
Among the interview topics of discussion: how Maxwell inherited her mom’s eyes and her dad’s calm demeanor, as well as Jessica’s C-section, from which recovering “isn’t easy.” Jess also notes that nursing, which she does throughout the day, has become “a full-on job.”
Yup. Get used to that, girlfriend.
Still, “It’s the worst if I have to pump and give Eric a bottle to give her,” Jessica says. “I miss holding her and having that closeness.” (Have to admit, I’ve always felt the same way. Selfish mamas unite!)
Congrats on your beautiful baby, guys. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to watch the “Jessica and Nick Forever Love” slideshow one last time. (Leave me alone. All part of the grieving process.)
Top 10 Explanations for Beyonce’s Questionable “60-Pound Weight Loss”
May 29, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities, Top 10 Lists | Tags: Beyonce
During a recent concert Beyonce told fans, ”I had to lose 60 pounds. They had me on that treadmill. I ate lettuce! Now tonight I’m gonna get chocolate wasted!” But people are buzzing — just as they were about her baby bump’s disappearing act — that she didn’t have 60 pregnancy pounds to lose. And an in-depth investigation by The Laughing Stork (in which we quickly threw up before-and-after pictures) shows that, well, they may just be right about that:
Hmmmm…what would prompt Beyonce to say such a thing when it looks like she only gained 30, 40 pounds max? As usual, the cats and I attempt to get to the bottom of this pressing mystery by brainstorming possible explanations. So here they are…
The Top 10 Explanations for Beyonce Saying She Lost 60 Pounds
10. They weren’t pregnancy pounds that she shed… she had somehow got stuck carrying friend Kanye West’s ego around.
9. She had told Solange that she gained 60 pounds to make her sister feel better about life.
8. She meant she had an extra 60 ounces remaining, not pounds. Duh.
7. She just wanted an excuse to say “chocolate wasted.”
6. Her baby bump pillow was made out of lead.
5. She wanted to steal Jessica Simpson’s future weight-loss thunder.
4. She got “chocolate wasted” during that last month of pregnancy…to the tune of 30 pounds of chocolate.
3. She really did gain 60 pounds… and was just wearing the best maternity Spanx EVER.
2. She was wasted when she said that at the concert. Not chocolate wasted. Just wasted.
1. Who cares? Better question is: Why is she wearing a figure skating costume up there? Beyonce going for gold in 2014, baby!
The Family Dish: Katherine Heigl Introduces Baby Adalaide & Aishwarya Rai Rocks Cannes, Horns
May 25, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: Aishwarya Rai, Bethenny Frankel, Katherine Heigl
WHOLE ‘NOTHER KIND OF WORLD PREMIERE: Katherine Heigl introduces baby Adalaide
As Naleigh puts a reassuring hand on Katherine’s shoulder: “Mom, let’s have a talk about that crimping iron…”
IF ONLY I COULD LOOK THIS “HIDEOUS”: Aishwarya Rai appears at Cannes looking gorgeous, amidst criticism for — GASP! — retaining some baby weight
In other insightful observations, that logo behind her head totally makes her look like she has horns.
Filed Under Potentially-Icky-But-Hopefully-Not: Ashton Kutcher and Rumer Willis Continue to “Hang Out”
May 24, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: Ashton Kutcher, Rumer Willis
Okay, let’s hope Rumer isn’t tapping into her inner Soon-Yi (or tapping anything else, for that matter)…
In what is hopefully just a sweet and totally innocent continuation of a stepfather-stepdaughter relationship, 34-year-old Ashton continues to regularly hang out with 23-year-old Rumer after divorcing Demi. In early March, the Dude, Where’s My Car? star and country music scene mocker was seen cheering on Rumer while she sang at a club in L.A. “Ashton looked like a proud father. He was beaming!” an onlooker gushed with a curious amount of enthusiasm. “They had a solid 10-second hug before Ashton got his guy friend and casually left through the back. He was strictly there to support Rumer.”
Well, that sounds harmless enough. Right? And then…
Hank Baskett Jr.: Static Electricity Win
May 24, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: Celebrity Offspring, Hank Baskett Jr., Kendra Wilkinson
“”Hey, you! Kid who told me to rub my head on the balloon?! NOT COOL!”
Pop Quiz: Tori Spelling’s Daughter Hattie is Thinking ____
May 22, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: Hattie McDermott, Pop Quiz, Tori Spelling
Hattie McDermott is thinking what in this picture?
1) “You are not SERIOUSLY having another baby already, are you, Mom? …MOM?!”
2) “Out of sweet potatoes? Whatchoo talkin’ about, Mom?”
3) “Wait — Luke Perry used to look like THAT?”
4) “Grandpa Spelling was worth HOW much?”
5) “What do you mean, David Silver isn’t my dad?”
6) “Turn off the flash, woman! It washes me out.”
7) None of the above. Adorable Hattie is thinking ______________.
The Family Dish: Alanis Morissette on Breastfeeding and Corporate Sponsors All Over Kardashian Baby Shower
May 21, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: The Dish
THINGS YOU OUGHTA KNOW: Alanis Morissette defends attachment parenting, saying she will breastfeed and sleep with 16-month-old son, Ever, until he wants to stop
Which we can only hope leads to severe sleep deprivation and crankiness on her part, leading to more awesomely angry songs. (Because it’s not at all weird to hope that, right? …RIGHT?!)
BABY SHOWER, KARDASHIAN-STYLE: Kourtney Kardashian has a shower for baby #2, sponsored by Burt’s Bees and Dolly’s Premium Cotton Candy
Where they also announced the name of the baby: Maybelline®! Awwww.
