Kim Kardashian’s Baby Shower Invitation — See It Here!

May 20, 2013 | Filed Under: Celebrities, Satire | Tags:

As E! — aka Kardashian Central — reports, Kim Kardashian’s sisters have sent out the invitations to her “humungous” baby shower — and only The Laughing Stork has an exclusive peek at what Kim and Kanye’s baby shower invitation looks like!

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PRO SHOPPING TIP: Get Kim Kardashian’s Footwear!

May 17, 2013 | Filed Under: Celebrities, Style | Tags: ,

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Hey, pregnant ladies, want to get Kim Kardashian’s look?  Her shoes are now available in Saks’ maternity torture device department.

An Interview with Kate Middleton’s Baby Bump

May 14, 2013 | Filed Under: Celebrities, Just for Belly Laughs, Satire | Tags: ,

Thanks for welcoming our featured celebrity of the day, Kate Middleton‘s Baby Bump!

Best known in the tabloids for being “flaunted” or “hidden” or “too waif-like,” Kate Middleton’s Baby Bump (KMBB) has risen to fame the old-fashioned way:  by being part of a royal family.

About seven months old, KMBB is also a fan of being outfitted in classy designer outfits and just generally being simple and down-to-earth while relaxing in its four-story, 20-room apartment in Kensington Palace.  The Laughing Stork was fortunate enough to get a chance to sit down with KMBB and get its thoughts about life as the most famous baby bump in the world.

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THE LAUGHING STORK:  We appreciate you taking the time to talk to us, Your Royal Highness.

KATE MIDDLETON’S BABY BUMP:  You should.  I’m missing tea with Piers Morgan’s hairpiece for this!

Continue Reading »

Selena Gomez Announces Mom’s Pregnancy with Obligatory Tweet and Baby Bump Hold

May 13, 2013 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags:

selena-gomez-mom-pregnantNo, that’s not Selena Gomez’s pretty older sister in that picture Tweeted by Selena – that’s her 36-year-old mom, Mandy, who is clearly expecting her second child.  (Either that, or Mandy enjoyed a few too many banana nut pancakes at Mother’s Day brunch).

“Hope all the amazing moms had a great day!” wrote Selena. “I have the best momma in the world :) ) I love you so much!”

So sweet that we’re raising our kids in a world where love can be expressed electronically, isn’t it?

Selena’s mom and dad, Ricardo Gomez, became parents when they were quite young (obviously) and divorced when the Come and Get It singer was five years old.  Mandy wed current husband-slash-baby daddy Brian Teefey in 2006.

After putting up with Justin Bieber’s childish shenanigans for way longer than most girls would, we already know Selena will be a very patient babysitter.

Congrats, ladies!

 

The Celebrity Stork Report: Kim Kardashian and Alanis Morrisette Wear — GASP! — Bikinis and Kate Middleton Goes Rogue with Stroller

May 9, 2013 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: , , ,

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Us Weekly taunts America with this cover of Kim Kardashian and questioning headline.

In response, America said, “No, we call it Photoshop.”

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Meanwhile, mom of two-year-old Ever, Alanis Morrisette, also donned a bikini while in Hawaii

Hey, if any mom of a toddler actually manages to find time to shave, she SHOULD show it off.

Continue Reading »

Shanna Moakler Calls Breastfeeding “Incestual” and “Gross,” Inspiring Our List of Comebacks

May 7, 2013 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: , ,

“I just look at my breasts as, like, sexual.” — Pearl of wisdom from mother of three, Shanna Moakler

Former Miss USA, Playboy playmate and inexplicable tabloid staple Shanna Moakler somehow got on the subject of breastfeeding with TMZ, telling their cameramen that she thinks nursing babies is “incestual” and “gross.”  The new target of disdain for nursing mothers everywhere — who has three kids herself — was leaving a birthday party in Los Angeles when she explained, “I just look at my breasts as, like, sexual…I’m selfish.”

She’s something, all right.

Although labeling nursing as “incestual” is on the extreme end of the Stupidity Spectrum, many of us breastfeeding mothers have been there: that awkward moment when a stranger or family member makes an ignorant comment about our decision to breastfeed beyond six months, or flashes a dirty look because we dare to (gasp!) nurse our hungry baby in public. Although we can take solace in the fact that such reactions are often borne out of lack of understanding, that doesn’t mean we can’t also arm ourselves with some incisive retorts to hopefully end the unwelcome comments once and for all. To that end, we bring you:

12 Smart-Alec Comebacks for Breastfeeding Comments

1. “Am I still nursing? Of course not—my mom weaned me a long time ago. My baby still is, though!”

2. “If the sight of me feeding my child offends you, perhaps you would feel more comfortable with a blanket over your head.”

3. “With the money I’m saving on milk, may I buy you some tact?”

4. “Which aspect of my breastfeeding bothers you most: my baby’s lowered risk of illness; his sense of security; or his potentially higher IQ?”

5. “Of course I’m still nursing. I’m so happy you keep asking. It shows you want the best for the baby.”

Continue Reading »

Met Gala Gowns That Remind Us of Household Products

May 6, 2013 | Filed Under: Celebrities, Fashion Police | Tags: , , , ,

Maybe being a mom has skewed our perspective, but these gowns from the Met Gala seemed less “punk” (the theme of the event) and more “household product/furniture”…

 

Kim Kardashian as our grandmother’s sofa.

Speaking of grandmothers…

Continue Reading »

And Now This Word from Kim Kardashian’s Swollen Feet

May 6, 2013 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: ,

Kim Kardashian/Instagram

 




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