Future Mother of the Day So Far: The Sperm Hunter
Nov 10, 2010 | Filed Under: Headline of the Day, In the News | Tags: Heartwarming
The Sperm Hunter
Headline: I’M SO DESPERATE FOR A BABY I GRAB STRANGERS FOR SEX ON NIGHTS WHEN I AM MOST FERTILE
Key quote: “If Lara, 25, meets a man who wants to use a condom, she will offer one from her purse – which she has already pierced a hole in.”
Editor’s note: I know what you’re thinking, and I agree — The Sperm Hunter would make an AMAZING reality show. Twelve women compete for the sperm and STDs of random men in bars with weapons such as broken condoms and beer goggles…hosted by field expert Paris Hilton!
Weekly News Roundup: Mean Moms; Happy Meals-Turned-Nanny State Meals; Morning Sickness Blame
Nov 4, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News
LOVE this… A letter to all the “concerned” parents out there, from a mom who let her five-year-old son dress like Scooby-Doo’s Daphne for Halloween. The take-away: Bite me, Mean Moms. [Nerdy Apple Bottom]
LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian are engaged. Till another hot co-star does them part. [E! News]
San Francisco bans Happy Meal toys unless meal meets nutritional requirements. In future news, hordes of kids head to the city border to get their plastic Shrek rings. [Time]
Yet another thing to blame mom for: severe morning sickness runs in families. [Reuters]
Just what your wallet needs: Etsy launches separate site for homemade children’s goodies. [EtsyKids] And if you have any money left, check out…
Stella McCartney‘s new children’s clothing line, with coats for “only” $155! [NY Mag]
It’s Eleven O’Clock: Do You Know Where Your Grandmother Is?
Nov 3, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Sexy Time
How she still has enough energy to sit upright remains a mystery to the publisher of this site
Some people may call her loose. I call her a hero. Or at least more energetic than myself…
Meet 62-year-old grandmother of seven, Carol Bone — yes, BONE — who is bragging to Closer magazine that she has slept with more than 200 men after joining 13 dating sites in the past two years.
Hey, with a namesake like that, I can’t say her, um, appetite is surprising!
Despite suffering from arthritis and back pain, Ms. Bone says she prefers sleeping with the youngin’s; her favorite men are in their 30s or 40s because “men who are over 50 don’t have the stamina to keep up with me. And I don’t like beer bellies.”
Well, beer bellies have been known to afflict more than a few men in their 30s or 40s, as well. But I hear ya, Ms. Bone. No granny should have to put up with that flabby nonsense.
Twice-married Bone began her on-line dating adventures in 2008 when the relationship with her partner ended after 21 years.
“‘I’d bake, look after the grandchildren, and I even tried knitting jumpers, but that wasn’t for me,” she revealed.
So… she made the natural leap from knitting jumpers to bed-hopping.
“My age means nothing. I have a really high sex drive.” She added, “Why shouldn’t I enjoy myself?”
Somewhere her grandchildren are reading the article and asking their parents, “What is a ‘high sex drive’?” Answer: Something your parents won’t have the energy for until you graduate from college.
News Roundup: Bert Takes One Step Out of the Closet; What to Expect Takes One Step Toward Big Screen
Oct 28, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup
What To Expect When You’re Expecting to be adapted into a romantic comedy. Um, what? When I read the book, seemed more like horror film material. [EW]
Acne cream and denture adhesives get tax breaks, but breast pumps do NOT, determines the IRS. In related news, IRS obviously run by men. [NY Times]
Celine Dion names twins Eddy and Nelson, is allowed to bring them home. Somewhere, Celine’s French-Canadian mom is going, “You called them WHAT?!” [Ace ShowBiz]
Sesame Street’s Bert suggests he may be gay. I’ll believe it when he finally trims that unibrow. [SkyNews]
Are soda cans killing YOUR sperm? More at eleven. [Washington Post]
When parents — and siblings — don’t share the same last name. An issue that I have because I didn’t take my husband’s last name. Not that it matters, given people just call me by my NEW name, “Skylar’s Mom,” anyway. [MotherLode]
Heartwarming Family Headline of the Day
Oct 28, 2010 | Filed Under: Headline of the Day, In the News | Tags: I Love Weirdos
Note to Skye: When the time comes, hopefully way, way in the future, I would prefer that you not inhale my remains in such a dishonorable way. Now, a delicious cheese-and-ashes casserole…? THAT’s the way I want to go (down).
A Family’s Runny Mashed Potatoes Emergency and Other Breaking News
Oct 22, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup
Behold the world’s most expensive crib, costing $19,995. Best of all, that price tag…? DOESN’T INCLUDE ASSEMBLY. [Posh Tots]
Illinois boy calls 911 over dad’s lousy dinner. “Hi, 911…? Yeah, so, my macaroni needs more butter.” [ksdk.com]
Mother of the Day So Far: Woman put daughter on 700-calorie diet at age two. [Daily Mail]
New study finds that women’s brains may actually get bigger during new motherhood. And that space is filled with important things, like Barney tunes and poop schedules! [Time]
Should parents who skip school conferences face jail time? No, WORSE — they should have to go back to school. [ABC News]
Mom donates 26 GALLONS of breast milk. Wow. There was a whole lotta pumpin’ going on in that house. Just not the kind her husband had hoped for. [Babble]
Non-Mother of the Day So Far: Woman Who Strips Outside Bar to Give Birth Isn’t Actually Pregnant
Oct 20, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News, Pregnancy News, Weird But True
That’s right, in today’s episode of I Didn’t Know I Was NOT pregnant…
An irate woman who stripped outside a Wisconsin bar claiming she was about to give birth was, in fact, not pregnant, authorities said.
Alcohol was involved, I suspect. (Can’t get anything by Detective Candy!)
Kyla Brumley, 28, was on her back on the sidewalk — naked from the waist down — when police arrived. Brumley refused to answer questions from police, instead yelling, “Get it out,” and referencing pain in her genital area. She continued to roll around on the ground as others tried to cover her.
Officers, observing no evidence Brumley was pregnant or in labor (Ed. Note: Say what?! I thought rolling around on the ground was the universal sign of labor!), handcuffed her and took her to an area hospital, where staffers confirmed she was not pregnant. At the hospital Brumley continued to yell, physically lash out at those around her and refuse attempts to cover her lower half.
I can’t help but wonder if Goldschläger was involved. That stuff will do crazy things to you. Yes, even impregnate you with an invisible baby! True story.
Ice, Ice Baby: Embryo Frozen for 20 Years Is Now a Bouncing Baby Boy
Oct 18, 2010 | Filed Under: In the News, Weird But True
This is a little mind-boggling: A healthy baby boy was born in Virgina from an embryo cryopreserved for 20 years. That’s right — the embryo is older than Miley Cyrus. (And the baby boy is wishing they’d waited another 20 years so he could have bypassed the Cyrus family craze altogether.)
You see, in 1990 a couple underwent In Vitro Fertilization. They eventually had a healthy baby boy. They also, as is common, had a number of microscopic embryos that hadn’t been implanted, but were viable. They decided to anonymously donate them. Now, one of those embryos has produced a little boy, 20 years after being created. This May, a 42-year-old woman gave birth to that boy, as reported in the journal Fertility and Sterility.
However, the situation is raising questions (of course) among bioethicists concerning “leftover” life forms frozen in liquid nitrogen.
Bioethicist Arthur Caplan at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, who has written about IVF issues, wonders if embryos might be handed down generation to generation, if there could be accidental inbreeding (I could make another Cyrus family joke here, but I AM ABOVE THAT) among adopted-out embryos, and whether the two boys have rights if they want to meet one day.
Meanwhile, I had another deep thought: If things frozen for that long can come to life after all those years, there is hope for Nicole Kidman’s forehead yet!
