News Roundup: Frozen Breast-Milk Treats; the Circumcision Debate; Rachel Zoe’s Ma-jor Baby Shower
Feb 25, 2011 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup
“Baby Gaga” breast milk ice-cream goes on sale. Darn! I just filled up on placenta pie. [Metro.co.uk]
The details of Rachel Zoe’s baby shower. I’m sure it was ba-na-nas. (Yes, I watch entirely too much of The Rachel Zoe Project, why do you ask?) [Celebrity Babies]
“Why My Son Isn’t Circumcised.” Somewhere, the kid is doing a facepalm and sighing, “Really, Mom, do you have to discuss the State of My Foreskin with THE WORLD?” [Babble]
A recall of more than 35,0000 BOB jogging strollers for strangulation hazard. I’m no safety expert, but that doesn’t sound very good. [KTLA]
Here’s a picture to reassure parents that saving those pennies for your children’s college education is all worthwhile. *AHEM* [Passive-Aggressive Notes]
“Teen Mom” star Amber Portwood poses nude. And people say these girls are bad role models? Pshaw! [Radar]
News Roundup: A Sofa to Take Dad from 0 to Awesome in One Second Flat
Feb 18, 2011 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup
The perfect Father’s Day gift: a motor sofa. (Too bad dad’s still gonna get a tie.) [Metro.co.uk]
Tear-jerker survival tale of a miracle baby. (Shut up, don’t look at me! It’s just allergies. I SWEAR.) [Chicago Tribune]
Jessica Alba is pregnant again. Given she has already named one child Honor, I just have to say: Hands off the name “Freedom,” woman! It’s taken. [People]
A baby cake celebrating “The Girls.” [Cake Wrecks]
“I breastfed three babies besides my own.” Presumably not at the same time. And if so? Pictures please! [Babble]
This cat demonstrates how I look before my morning latte. [The Berry]
News Roundup: Raising Boys; Petting Kitties; Laughing at Valentine’s Day Cakes
Feb 11, 2011 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup
Above? Yeah, that’s what I look like after my two long days with a sick Miss Skye — only not nearly as cute. (With thanks to reader Mrs. Harrison Ford.) [UberHumor]
A smartphone that takes ultrasounds. What I want to know is, when will it be able to change diapers for me? [Fast Company]
These Valentine’s Day cakes induce more laughter than romance. [Cake Wrecks]
Walmart launches makeup line, including anti-aging exfoliant, for 8-to-12-year-olds. Phew! About time those old hags tried to turn back the clock. [ABC]
Raising boys: A dad’s parenting advice for moms. Hmpf. And men think WE’RE complicated. [Babble]
This one’s for my fellow cat lovers (as well as the rest of you who like to make fun of them): A guide illustrating “how to pet a kitty.” [The Oatmeal]
Nursing moms finally get a break. A tax break, that is. Cha-ching! [WSJ]
News Roundup: When a Man Loves a Kitty
Feb 4, 2011 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup
Lasers + cat + mullet + glasses + Cosby sweater = Your Laughing Stork-recommended daily allowance of AWESOME. [AFPP]
My daughter shares why she loves me. Hint: It involves my usual strong maternal instincts. [Babble]
“David Blaine’s pregnant fiancee hitches snow plow to deliver baby.” Wow. That must have been one big baby if they needed a plow. My doctor just used her hands to deliver mine. [Us Weekly]
Discussion about a new book exploring whether the transformation of little girls into sparkly princess worshipers is the result of nature or aggressive marketers. I would offer my observations, but I’m too busy helping my little girl play with Cinderella stickers… [MotherLode]
12-year-old discovers Valentine’s Day candy heart with the message “Nice Tits” on it. That’ll teach the girl for eating the candy Dad gave to Mom. [KCRA]
An immigration officer was so sick of his wife that he put her on a terrorist watch list – so she couldn’t get home from Pakistan. Something tells me he’s going to be sleeping on the couch tonight. [Orange News]
At least Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry are being civil for the sake of their daughter. *Ahem* [Radar]
Toddler Kicked Out of Preschool for Potty Accidents, Killing Her Chances with Harvard
Feb 2, 2011 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Is Our Children Learning
The Washington Post recently ran a story about a three-year-old who was suspended from preschool — for a month! — because she sometimes has problems making it to the toilet on time. Like, you know, many three-year-olds and frat house beer pong players so often do. To add insult to lack of bladder control, the principal actually escorted the little girl and her mother from the building. To make sure the toddler didn’t leave a farewell puddle in the hallway, I guess.
My knee-jerk reaction was, OMG, that school sucks big balls! Because those are the kind of profound, maternal thoughts that run through my mind. Then I sat back and mulled over it for a minute, and I thought, OMG, those parents suck big balls! I mean, seriously? Running to the Washington Post and announcing to the world that your child pees her pants is not going to do her any favors, especially now that her name (used in the article) will forever be associated with “potty issues” on the Internet.
To forever be associated with “potty mouth,” on the other hand, would be pretty damn cool.
So I got to thinking: How would I have exacted my revenge on the school? Because if there’s one lesson that children should get out of this, it’s that NO HUMILIATING DEED SHOULD GO UNPUNISHED! A sampling of the constructive ways I would have handled the suspension:
1) Left a farewell puddle in the hallway;
2) Put the principal on a mailing list for adult diaper promotions and coupons — using the school’s address; and/or…
3) Covered the school administration’s toilet seats with saran wrap.
Let’s hear it for putting the “pee” in principal! (I know, I know… *GONG*)
Weekly News Roundup: Who Loves Ya, Baby?
Jan 28, 2011 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup
"Who loves ya, baby?"
Kate Hudson says she thinks she’s having a girl. But more importantly, what does the creepy psychic Russian woman on my street think she’s having?! [People]
Man leaves wife at home to go on romantic vacation with his dolls. Talk about committing adolltery. [Metro]
Arkansas grocery store “protects” kids by shielding Us Weekly magazine cover featuring Elton John, his husband and new son. But the half-naked woman on Maxim is a stellar example for our children! [Time]
Even babies agree: Size matters. [CNN]
This is where the second sibling ends up sleeping when he arrives and there are no bedrooms left for his nursery. [Daily Squee]
“My 55-hour labor.” Also known as: Words I hope to never, ever, ever utter. Ever. [Babble]
Weekly News Roundup: Baby Yoga Gone Wild, Stay-at-Home Mom Gone Broke & Octomom Gone S&M
Jan 21, 2011 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup
Russian woman defends her seemingly dangerous approach to baby yoga. Or, as I like to call it, “OMG, WHAT IS SHE DOING TO THAT POOR CHILD?!” [Ecorazzi]
Interesting article about the “regrets of a stay-at-home mom.” One takeaway: Be sure to get divorced in a booming economy. [Salon]
Octomom’s baby-whipping bondage video. Just in time for Valentine’s Day! Awwww. [TMZ]
Woman discusses her cloth diaper dilemma, sparking a debate almost as intense as Jen vs. Angelina. Almost. [Babble]
Well, this is ONE way to get your kid to eat. [The Chive]
Jesse James and Kat Von D are getting married. Somewhere, Wills and Kate are crying, “Ah man. But OUR wedding was supposed to be the ceremony of the decade!” [People]
Married couple show off their 28 pet rats. Something tells me they don’t get many house guests. [metro.co.uk]
Weekly News Update: Suri and Maddox’s Style Showdown & The Chick Who Breastfeeds Her Maltese
Jan 14, 2011 | Filed Under: In the News | Tags: Weekly News Roundup
It’s never too early for kids to learn it’s what’s on the outside that matters — so kudos for teaching them that lesson by pitting Suri and Maddox against each other in a “Who Wore It Best?” column! [HollyBaby]
Meet (and, oh yes, see) the woman who BREASTFEEDS HER DOG. Surprisingly, she is single. [PMU Magazine]
Selma Blair announces she is pregnant with new boyfriend’s baby, proving there really is a birth control shortage in Hollywood. [Us Weekly]
The article that has rocked the mommyblogosphere: “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior.” [WSJ]
Kelsey Grammer is a cross-dresser, his bitter soon-to-be-wife Camille insinuates. Before you know it, Kelsey will be fighting back with shocking revelations of his own, like Camille — GASP! — has gotten plastic surgery. [Daily Mail]
Fifteen years from now, my kids are going to be submitting stories about me to this column: “Parents Just Don’t Understand.” [CollegeHumor]
