Category - In the News

Female Pilot Receives Ridiculously Sexist Note from Passenger

WestJet Airlines pilot Carey Steacy, mother of two and pilot for 17 years, received an insanely sexist note from a passenger – “David” in seat 12E — telling her that ‘the cockpit of an airliner is no place for a woman.”  Oh yes, he did.  Check it out for yourself (along with my suggested response):

“FAIR LADY!”

P.S.  Without fair ladies-turned-Women Airforce Service Pilots, aircraft would not have gotten to airfields from the factories in WWII.  Good day, sir.

Don’t Panic or Anything, But OMG THERE IS A WINE SHORTAGE!!!

Let your wine know how much you love it -- because you never know when it might be gone.

Let your wine know how much you love it — because you never know when it could be gone.

Some news that chilled me to the core:  Morgan Stanley Research reveals there is a WINE SHORTAGE, people, with global production falling five percent and worldwide consumption rising one percent.  I’m no fancy mathematician or anything, but by my calculations, that means I need to stop sharing my wine.  (Okay, okay,  you’re right… I need to continue not sharing my wine.)

So what can you to to help during this crisis?  The Laughing Stork experts share ways to pitch in:

1. Reinvent your monthly “Moms Who Need Wine” meet-up into “Moms Who Need Vodka.”

2. Plant a grape vine in loving memory of a Cabernet Sauvignon that is no longer with us.

3. Remove the wine from your Chicken and Red Wine Sauce dish to reduce your consumption of the endangered drink.  Also, because killing the alcoholic content with heat is just cruel.

4. For the love of fermented grapes, do NOT waste wine by being classy and spitting it out at tastings.

A conservationist makes sure to enjoy the wasted spit bucket remains

5. We know you’re busy, but take a moment out of your day to let your wine know how much you love it — because you never know when it could be gone.

The Laughing Stork Asks: How Do You Feel About Parents Accompanying Their Kids on Job Interviews?

A new Wall Street Journal article reveals that a surprising number of employees in their 20s and 30s are bringing their parents to job interviews and office socials — and an increasing number of companies are embracing this parental involvement by keeping parents apprised of their children’s job performance and inviting them to office functions.

So The Laughing Stork surveyed the parents of the parents of these more, um, co-dependent Millenials and asked the grandparents:  How do you feel about parents accompanying their children on job interviews?

Today’s Top News in Two Sentences or Less

iphone5

Apple announces September 20th release date for iPhone 5S and iPhone 5C, which come in various colors and with a fingerprint sensor
“Just what I wanted!  A gold phone to match my grills!” –Madonna

gwen-stefani-kingston-bleached

Gwen Stefani reportedly pregnant with baby #3 at 43
In related news, sales of pediatric hair dye expected to rise in nine months

A dramatic rise in kids swallowing powerful (and potentially fatal) magnets
Well, that’s ONE way to prevent your parents from hanging your report card on the fridge

cliff

Woman pushes husband off cliff after one week of marriage
Ugh.  A simple “I don’t” would have sufficed.

Mario Lopez and Courtney Mazza welcome baby boy named Dominic
Something tells me all the “EXCLUSIVE!” details will be shared on EXTRA!

Looking for the Perfect Christmas Gift for Your Kid? Get the “Breaking Bad” Meth Lab Playset!

Does your kid already have the Dexter serial killer doll?  Then amp up the edge factor of his toy chest even further with this Breaking Bad-inspired meth lab playset:

Complete with protective masks, drug paraphernalia, figurines and an RV (AKA the show’s meth lab on wheels), future drug dealers can even reenact scenes from the TV series.

Apparently, some parents have taken to — where else? — Twitter to complain about the inappropriateness of the toy (made out of Lego-like parts, but not actually made by Lego), but I don’t see what the big deal is.  I mean, it’s obviously not meant for kids and even if it was…?  At least the meth lab has a cautionary “DANGER” sign and comes with a protective mask.  Plus, in today’s job market, never hurts to hone a set of back-up skills.

For Sale: Urine-Soaked Positive Pregnancy Tests

For Sale! As if we needed further proof that you can indeed find ANYTHING on Craigslist, a new trend has cropped up:  women selling their positive pregnancy tests on the classified ads site.

You moms out there are kicking yourselves because YOU didn’t think of this money-making opportunity, aren’t you?  Well, good thing I kept mine!  Woo-hoo!   (Too much information?  You can tell me so on my new site:  FiveYearOldPositivePregnancyTestsforSale.com.)

One post from Buffalo, New York, sums up the appeal for potential shoppers:

“Wanna get your boyfriend to finally pop the question? Play a trick on Mom, Dad or one of your friends? I really don’t care what you use it for.”

That particular test was going for the reasonable rate of $25 dollars. The tests in Texas seem to be slightly more expensive, at $30 a pop.  Perhaps because of more demand from Southern ladies looking to trick their men into marrying them.

Another ad reassures buyers conscious of name brands, “This will NOT be a dollar store test. Will be either Clearblue First Response or EPT.”

PHEW.  As I always say, if I’m going to buy a urine-soaked pregnancy test to play a prank on my parents, it had better be top-of-the-line.

Other possible, totally classy uses for the positive pregnancy tests include:

  • Using it to make your boyfriend cough up money for “doctor’s appointments”
  • Telling your wife/girlfriend that you found it in the trashcan and she has some ‘splainin’ to do.
  • Having Maury Povich buy them in bulk, thus giving his show plenty of material
  • Keeping it by your bedside, because who wouldn’t want to wake up to something that somebody else has peed on?  (In short, a substitute for toddlers who are potty training.)

Moms Say Three is Most Stressful Number of Kids

Mothers of three children stress more than moms of one or two, while mothers of four or more children actually report lower stress levels, according to a TODAYMoms.com surveymom-three-kidsOther things that are stressful when they come in threes:

  • Nipples
  • Baseball strikes
  • The wheels on your car (STUPID POTHOLE)
  • The amount of houses you have to visit on Christmas
  • Sex and the City movie sequels
  • The number of digits preceding the decimal point on your dinner bill total
  • Layovers
  • Bottles of wine (I mean, what is everybody ELSE going to drink?)

New Zealand’s List of Banned Baby Names: Lucifer and Anal and III, Oh My!

When people bestow their kids with weird names here in the States, we celebrate them with coverage in the tabloids.  In New Zealand, however, the government has been known to reject strange monikers– and their Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages just released an updated list of 77 unacceptable baby names, perhaps to discourage new parents from picking ones that, well, might haunt their children for life. The name Justice was rejected the most — a whopping 62 times, CNN reports.

Middle names likely included IsServed and OfthePeace.

"You tried to call me WHAT?!"

“You tried to call me WHAT?!”

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5 Best Things About Having a Diaper-Free Baby

The latest controversy sweeping parenting news — isn’t there always a controversy sweeping parenting news? — is mothers who let their babies, as young as just days old, go diaper-free. Parents say they choose the method for many reasons, including fostering better early communication with their children and reducing their environmental impact by getting rid of disposable diapers.

Living with the constant risk of having a kid crap all over the floor not for you?  Well, perhaps you haven’t thought about THESE benefits:

To diaper or not to diaper, that is the question.

5 Best Things About Having a Diaper-Free Baby

5.  Now you’ll REALLY get your money’s worth out of the dog’s new pooper scooper.

4.  Baby will have unique first word:  “COMMANDO.”

3.  When friend brags that baby is holding her head up, you can retort:  “How sweet.  Did I mention my FOUR-DAY-OLD is already potty training?”

2.  Newborn son pees all over swing instead of your face.

1.  “Diaper bag” becomes “Mom’s Wine Transportation Bag.”