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Category: Candy’s Column

Dec-1-2010

Hairgate

There are a few simple rules I expect daycare to follow:  watch my child; do not hurt my child; empty my child’s diaper every so often; keep my child off porn...

Box

Can’t Blame a Girl for Trying

ME:  I don’t think she’s left that box all weekend. MR. CANDY:  I know, right? ME:  Why do we even bother buying toys? MR. CANDY:  Good question. ME: ...

Courtyard-EndofNovember

16 Months

Miss Skye turns [INSERT MELODRAMATICALLY SENTIMENTAL SIGH HERE] 16 months old today.  SIX-FREAKIN-TEEN months, people.  Say whaaa–? And, not to brag or anything,...

Aunt-Sharons-Outfit-2

U Can’t Stuff This

Re-posted from Nov 25, 2009 (and we’re doing the very same thing for Thanksgiving this year, wild and unpredictable folks that we are) Thanksgiving is a special...

Tantrum

Karma

Behold: What my mom had in mind when, many, many years ago, she rolled her eyes at me pounding my fists on the floor at Sears because my three-year-old ass did NOT WANT...

Top 10 Signs You May Be a Parent Who Needs to Get Out of the House More Often

10.  Whenever you drive up to your daughter’s daycare, all of her teachers yell, “HIDE!  It’s Skylar’s Mom!  You know, the woman who NEVER...

Did I Mention I Have a Baby?

BACKSTORY:  On Monday mornings, there is nowhere to park within a mile radius of Skye’s daycare because of street cleaning, parking regulations, blah, blah,...

ILoveCats-2

Shameless

As y’all know, trying to adopt a cat hasn’t exactly been easy for us so far, with competition and overextended, unresponsive volunteers seemingly working...

The Doomed Do-gooder

A few years ago before I was even thinking about having a child (also known as:  The Years When I Thought “Yo Gabba Gabba” Was a Hip-Hop Sorority), I was...

A Mother’s Selflessness and All That Jazz

At Skye’s check-up this morning: DOCTOR:  I see she has the sniffles. ME:  Yeah.  Nothing new there. DOCTOR:  Well, we should probably hold off on giving her...