Category - Candy’s Column

asteroid-earth

Crash. Burn. Refuel.

No, Los Angeles, that was not a Santa Ana wind that just nearly knocked Nic Cage’s hair piece off.  That was me.  Exhaling.  (My apologies, Nic.) The kids just returned to preschool after a two-and-a-half week summer break — and...

Mom-Dad-Candy-39-Weeks-5-Days

Top 10 Things My Parents Taught Me

Important life lessons that I will, no doubt, pass down to my daughter and son… 10.  Medicine:  1)  “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way!”  2)  If you don’t stop cracking...

LA moms frequently find the whole beach in their kids' diapers.

You Might Be an L.A. Mom If…

I recently came across an article titled “You might be an L.A. Mom If” — and, being an L.A. mom myself, I clicked on it out of curiosity and the hope I would get a few chuckles out of it.  It turned out to be more insulting...

teacher-late-assignemtn

Thank a Teacher

Re-posting this from September 28, 2010 in honor of Teacher Appreciation Week… I walked to the front of the classroom and handed my homework, an essay about the horrors of babysitting, to Mr. Shirley.  The writing assignment had been due...

Lucy-Jan2012

And Then There Were Seven

There comes a moment in most every mom’s life when she thinks, You know what we could use around here?  MORE PUKE AND POOP!  This moment is usually preceded by Benadryl and wine. I’m pretty sure that’s how we’ve ended...

R.I.P. Dora Watch

Dora Got Run Over by Mr. Candy

Sung, of course, to the tune of “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer”: Dora got run over by Mr. Candy. Dropped under his car by Miss Skye. We can say the watch just “got lost,” But as for Miss Skye, she don’t...