Category: Candy’s Column
Wherein I Explain to My Four-Year-Old Daughter Why Rihanna Wears a Loincloth as a Shirt
I put our four-year-old daughter to bed every night. Miss Skye is a shameless Mommy’s Girl who requests — nay, DEMANDS — my daily bedtime services,...
Crash. Burn. Refuel.
No, Los Angeles, that was not a Santa Ana wind that just nearly knocked Nic Cage’s hair piece off. That was me. Exhaling. (My apologies, Nic.) The kids just...
Top 10 Things My Parents Taught Me
Important life lessons that I will, no doubt, pass down to my daughter and son… 10. Medicine: 1) “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are...
Awkward Family Photoblog: Parenting a Preschooler
Once in a lifetime comes a parenting blog with photographs so touching, it makes your ovaries ache. This is not that blog. Mr. Candy and I agree that this picture...
You Might Be an L.A. Mom If…
I recently came across an article titled “You might be an L.A. Mom If” — and, being an L.A. mom myself, I clicked on it out of curiosity and the hope I...
Thank a Teacher
Re-posting this from September 28, 2010 in honor of Teacher Appreciation Week… I walked to the front of the classroom and handed my homework, an essay about the...
How NOT to Handle a Family Photo Shoot (A Guide for Fellow Moms Based on My Own Tragic, Tragic Mistakes)
You know how it’s commonplace to compare disasters to the Hindenburg? Well, I wanted to personally alert you to the newest, hottest metaphor in town —...
And Then There Were Seven
There comes a moment in most every mom’s life when she thinks, You know what we could use around here? MORE PUKE AND POOP! This moment is usually preceded by...
Dora Got Run Over by Mr. Candy
Sung, of course, to the tune of “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer”: Dora got run over by Mr. Candy. Dropped under his car by Miss Skye. We can say the...
Screw You, 2012 (Meaning: Happy New Year!)
My reaction to 2012 is, I imagine, the same as Paris Hilton’s upon seeing her old pal Kim’s pregnancy news splashed across every media outlet: “FOR...
