How Moms Are Like Thanksgiving Turkeys

It’s almost that glorious time of year when we gorge ourselves and give thanks for elastic waistband pants! And there comes a moment on every Thanksgiving when moms can’t help but put an arm around the turkey and whisper, You and I are totally sympatico, dude.  …No?  That’s just me?  Well, perhaps after reading my list of similarities, you’ll feel more inclined to share a beer with your turkey this year, too.

#1 – We’ve both had hands shoved in places where the sun don’t shine.

#2 – If you get us all heated up, we will freakin’ POP.

#3 – The man of the house has expressed interest in our breasts and legs.

#4 – The kids would gladly trade us in for a Thanksgiving cupcake.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).