Top 10 Ways Babies Resemble Drunk College Students

(Not that I know anything about being a drunk college student.  *Ahem*)

10.  They have no problem passing out in strange places.

9.  Bulk up by indulging in frequent late-night feedings.

8.  Embarrassing lack of coordination.

7.  Often regurgitate/spit up all over you if they drink too much.

6.   Takes little-to-no encouragement to get them to lift up their shirts.

5.  Have problems focusing their eyes.

4.  Able to chug without taking a breath for impressive amount of time.

3.  Responsive to people talking to them like a baby.

2.  Woeful bladder control.

1.  Blissfully unaware of people posting pictures of them looking drunk on the Internet.

 

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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