House Hunters Haikus

In poetic celebration of one of my favorite television series: HGTV’s House Hunters.

Husband hates granite
Wife wants a mansion for free
Realtor rethinks job

Some say show is fake
House already in escrow
But we are still hooked

I’d Rather Be Home
on Couch Watching House Hunters
Good bumper sticker

International
Makes me long for life abroad
‘Til I see li’l rooms

Small budget, first house
Makes for really boring show
Bigger is better

She demands fixer
He loathes tools and mess and work
Divorce court ahead

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).