Top 5 Lamest Excuses for Throwing Your Kid’s Artwork in the Trash

Ever get caught throwing your kid’s artwork in the trash?  Yeah, me, too.  And my four-year-old, not entirely grasping that it would take a storage shed the size of Portugal to house all of her daily artwork, was NOT happy about finding her drawing of a sun underneath a pile of spaghetti sauce (and had no qualms about reaching in there and yanking it out, thankyouverymuch).  I don’t remember exactly what I said when I was confronted, but it may have been along the lines of “Hmmmm.  I wonder if your brother put it in there.”

Lame, I know.  And here five other excuses I considered that might be even lamer:

5. “Oh, honey, that’s not the trash.  It’s ART HEAVEN!”

4.  “No, I didn’t throw it out.  I just wanted to see if you could find where I hid it.  YOU WIN!”

3.  “What — you don’t like it?  I thought piling cat litter on top of the drawing added a certain grittiness.”

2.  “I bet the ceiling fan blew it in there.  If we had one.”

1.  “I’m not sure how your art got in there, but I can’t believe you just reached into that filthy trash to get it out.  Go to the bathroom to clean your hands right now, young lady, and DO NOT COME BACK UNTIL YOU’VE FORGOTTEN THIS EVER HAPPENED, DO YOU HEAR ME?!”