For Sale: Urine-Soaked Positive Pregnancy Tests

For Sale! As if we needed further proof that you can indeed find ANYTHING on Craigslist, a new trend has cropped up:  women selling their positive pregnancy tests on the classified ads site.

You moms out there are kicking yourselves because YOU didn’t think of this money-making opportunity, aren’t you?  Well, good thing I kept mine!  Woo-hoo!   (Too much information?  You can tell me so on my new site:  FiveYearOldPositivePregnancyTestsforSale.com.)

One post from Buffalo, New York, sums up the appeal for potential shoppers:

“Wanna get your boyfriend to finally pop the question? Play a trick on Mom, Dad or one of your friends? I really don’t care what you use it for.”

That particular test was going for the reasonable rate of $25 dollars. The tests in Texas seem to be slightly more expensive, at $30 a pop.  Perhaps because of more demand from Southern ladies looking to trick their men into marrying them.

Another ad reassures buyers conscious of name brands, “This will NOT be a dollar store test. Will be either Clearblue First Response or EPT.”

PHEW.  As I always say, if I’m going to buy a urine-soaked pregnancy test to play a prank on my parents, it had better be top-of-the-line.

Other possible, totally classy uses for the positive pregnancy tests include:

  • Using it to make your boyfriend cough up money for “doctor’s appointments”
  • Telling your wife/girlfriend that you found it in the trashcan and she has some ‘splainin’ to do.
  • Having Maury Povich buy them in bulk, thus giving his show plenty of material
  • Keeping it by your bedside, because who wouldn’t want to wake up to something that somebody else has peed on?  (In short, a substitute for toddlers who are potty training.)

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats who enjoy blanketing every inch of the house in kitty fur.