Awkward Family Photoblog: Parenting a Preschooler

Once in a lifetime comes a parenting blog with photographs so touching, it makes your ovaries ache.  This is not that blog.

Mr. Candy and I agree that this picture captures 99% of parenting a preschooler:


What’s included:

  • One (1) preschooler clearly faking-slash-exaggerating the “wrong” being forced upon her (in this instance, me handing her off to her father — the horror!)
  • One (1) weary mom
  • One (1) dad trying to suppress his irritation about this all-too-familiar scenario

What’s missing:

  • The audio of the preschooler yelling “Poopy!” or “Booger!”  Because our preschooler likes to interject them into most all conversations, especially when we’re at a venue such as a church.

On the bright side, the photographer also managed to capture one of our best family photos to date (not shown here, obviously).  And isn’t that why we really attend family weddings — to take advantage of their professional photographers?

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

7 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I believe you promised us pictures of the last Professional Portrait Fiasco when they came in and we are still waiting…

    • She didn’t include any of the bad ones in the gallery, Newb! That’s why I’m trying to make it up to you with this offering…

      • Well, boo! Was looking forward to seeing them. Guess I’ll have to settle for the look on your face in this pic – straight out of a cheesy 80’s sit com. Like you’re talking to the audience. Mr. Candy looks like he’s trying not to go postal in front of the family cause they all still like him and he doesn’t want them to know he can lose his temper. I just bought a sign to put up in my house: “Remember, as far as everyone knows we’re a normal happy family.” Maybe you need one as well.

        • My life often feels like a cheesy ’80s sitcom these days, Newb. (And I mean that in the best way because I LOVE cheesy ’80s sitcoms.) I think the look on my face was, “Why the hell is he taking our picture NOW?!”

          Great sign! Although I’m not sure we’re fooling anyone into believing we’re normal.

  • Oh boo! I always include the worst (i.e. funniest) “outtake” shots in my clients’ galleries! They are the ones that make me laugh, so I know (hope) my clients will appreciate them.

    This is a pretty great example of parenthood though — and your “nice” family shot is gorgeous!

    • But of course you do! The outtakes are the best. This was the only one from our family session that could qualify as an “outtake” — with Drew crying on my shoulder because he hated the puppet they used to make him smile (which is funny in itself):

      • SO CUTE! And I love the story.

        For my son’s first Santa pictures, he was happily sitting on Santa’s lap, giggling and pulling on Santa’s beard…until the darn photographer pulled out this giant cowbell and started ringing it to get his attention. That year’s photo shows him looking completely horrified.